CruciFixed
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Yeah. I think I've accidentally taken the thread apart and I'm sorry to the OP. I go on tangents and then I forget where it all started.
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Is it OK to have nice things? Or is it greedy?
- Thread starter LovebirdsFlying
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LovebirdsFlying
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No apology necessary.
I'm a "tangent" person myself, and I was hoping for as much dialogue as possible, of all viewpoints, so I could mix and match. I don't see where you did anything wrong.Tangents away, everybody!
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LovebirdsFlying
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OK, here's a tangent of my own on the food stamp/medicaid issue that Brikkz mentioned.
I am disabled. For years I subsisted on SSI, not because I didn't want to work, but because I could not. I made numerous efforts to enter work-rehabilitation programs, but they always seemed to put me off.... I'd be told the program would start in April, then it would turn to June, and then August. Very frustrating.
And you know what? At the merest mention of any attempt to pull myself up off SSI and get back into the work force, some social worker would inevitably "warn" me, "Don't make too much money. You'll lose your check."
Grrrr. That's exactly what I was *trying* to do! Get off that check and back into the work force! Shouldn't that be what *anyone* who is on public assistance of any kind is trying to do?
My SSI ended when I married Mike. His income disqualifies me. That's just fine with me, although some people might have advised me to live with him instead, so I could keep my "entitlement." I personally refuse to call it that. I think of it as a "benefit," but not something I'm entitled to.
And this leads to a tangent off of a tangent:
I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong, that when a couple gets married, while both on SSI, they collectively lose 25% of their benefits. Yet if they lived together without benefit of clergy, they'd both receive their full amounts.
It was the same way when I was a teenage unwed mother. If I had married my child's father *before* she was born, I would have lost my Medicaid coverage and had no way to pay for my prenatal and postnatal care. It didn't matter that he himself was temporarily disabled at the time; he'd been in a serious auto accident. Marrying him before the baby was born would have meant no assistance. But I could live with him, receive a monthly check, and have my pregnancy and childbirth paid for. Talk about the government rewarding couples for living together, while discouraging marriage!
I am disabled. For years I subsisted on SSI, not because I didn't want to work, but because I could not. I made numerous efforts to enter work-rehabilitation programs, but they always seemed to put me off.... I'd be told the program would start in April, then it would turn to June, and then August. Very frustrating.
And you know what? At the merest mention of any attempt to pull myself up off SSI and get back into the work force, some social worker would inevitably "warn" me, "Don't make too much money. You'll lose your check."
Grrrr.
That's exactly what I was *trying* to do! Get off that check and back into the work force! Shouldn't that be what *anyone* who is on public assistance of any kind is trying to do?My SSI ended when I married Mike. His income disqualifies me. That's just fine with me, although some people might have advised me to live with him instead, so I could keep my "entitlement." I personally refuse to call it that. I think of it as a "benefit," but not something I'm entitled to.
And this leads to a tangent off of a tangent:
I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong, that when a couple gets married, while both on SSI, they collectively lose 25% of their benefits. Yet if they lived together without benefit of clergy, they'd both receive their full amounts.
It was the same way when I was a teenage unwed mother. If I had married my child's father *before* she was born, I would have lost my Medicaid coverage and had no way to pay for my prenatal and postnatal care. It didn't matter that he himself was temporarily disabled at the time; he'd been in a serious auto accident. Marrying him before the baby was born would have meant no assistance. But I could live with him, receive a monthly check, and have my pregnancy and childbirth paid for. Talk about the government rewarding couples for living together, while discouraging marriage!
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AnneSally
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I didn't think it did.
I hate to think how much I've spent on coats, I wasn't a tightwad that's for sure and prolly spent way too much...
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AnneSally
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I agree, I actually used to LOVE shopping at second hand stores when I was a poor struggling student. I used to love rummaging around and finding lovely stuff for bargain prices, didn't bother me in the slightest because needs must. Before Uni I used to have a good paying job and wouldn't have dreamed of shopping in a cheap store, it was only because I was a student and could hardly afford to feed myself and put a roof over my head, I had to, my circumstances forced me to have to make sacrifices and new stuff was one of them. My friend who was studying Law was all embarrassed because the law students had rich husbands buying them clothes and paying their fees but she was like me, had finished work to study and was struggling financially. I had to talk some sense into her about that. I converted her to shop at thrift stores and she got all excited about it in the end, lol. I helped her pick some clothes and she was all happy because she could see that she could look nice even with hardly any money, haha.
I used to eat jam sandwiches and have holes in my shoes at Uni. You just have to do what you have to, when you have money and can afford something nice, you get it, when you can't, you can't. I've always felt that one just cuts their cloth accordingly according to personal circumstances.
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AnneSally
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LOL! I need a dishwasher! Yes, that would be a GREAT blessing to me who hates to do the dishes.
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AnneSally
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Then just be happy with it. Sod the naysayers, you enjoy your lovely coat, there are always people around who resent others having nice things, just ignore 'em.
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AnneSally
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I kinda struggled with the same thing over my new dishwasher...was this an extravagant luxury I could do without...
I felt like that when I bought my house. I felt guilty because some people don't even have a roof over their head and here I am buying a whole house! I know that may sound ridiculous but I really struggled with feeling extravagant for buying my first home and that it wasn't right when so many have nothing. Then my mum told me not to be so ridiculous and that I'd be no use to anyone if I couldn't even look after myself, so I needed to be responsible and put my money into a home, a proper investment.
I quickly got over myself and thank God so much for this blessing, I love my little home and truly believe it was a blessing from Him because it was a gift (financially speaking) and I love living here.....
Now I need a dishwasher, haha.
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I felt like that when I bought my house. I felt guilty because some people don't even have a roof over their head and here I am buying a whole house! I know that may sound ridiculous but I really struggled with feeling extravagant for buying my first home and that it wasn't right when so many have nothing. Then my mum told me not to be so ridiculous and that I'd be no use to anyone if I couldn't even look after myself, so I needed to be responsible and put my money into a home, a proper investment.
I quickly got over myself and thank God so much for this blessing, I love my little home and truly believe it was a blessing from Him because it was a gift (financially speaking) and I love living here.....
Now I need a dishwasher, haha.
Congrats on your home...yes...we should always have joy in what the Lord blesses us with...and your mum is right....owning a home is good stewardship rather than getting no return for your hard earned money by renting.
It certainly is a big responsibility though.
That was certainly a plus in buying the dishwasher....we plan to sell our home ASAP and new appliances will certainly help in the resale value.
It took us three years to replace everything...the dishwasher was the last item on the list...
Now I have to paint my cupboards and replace the wallpaper....
It was OK when everything was from the 70's...I had a "theme" going...
I've been working on this house...room by room for 5 years now and I'm still not done...LOL...by the time I am finished...everything will prolly be out-dated again!...
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LovebirdsFlying
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They only call it "outdated" when you did the decorating yourself. If a paid professional designer does the same thing, it's called "retro chic."I've been working on this house...room by room for 5 years now and I'm still not done...LOL...by the time I am finished...everything will prolly be out-dated again!...
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LOL....how true! I was looking at my chipped and distressed cupboards and thought...people actually pay money to get their things to look like this..."shabby chic" ROTFL...and I considered...instead of painting...maybe just take a brillo pad to them...and folks will think my cupboards look like this on purpose...LOL
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porterross
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If having nice things is wrong, paint me bad. I've been without funds and was perfectly content to exist on what I could afford, but when I need or want something a bit nicer, I make sure it's worth the money, save until I can afford it, then buy it.
Being wasteful and selfish are not the same as being comfortable and appreciating the items that go to make that possible. Why do we work if not to be able to enjoy our time here?
Something to keep in mind, too, is that as we age (at least for me), my substantial purchases now are made with the full intention of them lasting for several decades, if not for the rest of my life, so quality is important. That quality is worth paying for, as I see it.
I've been without funds and was perfectly content to exist on what I could afford, but when I need or want something a bit nicer, I make sure it's worth the money, save until I can afford it, then buy it. Being wasteful and selfish are not the same as being comfortable and appreciating the items that go to make that possible. Why do we work if not to be able to enjoy our time here?
Something to keep in mind, too, is that as we age (at least for me), my substantial purchases now are made with the full intention of them lasting for several decades, if not for the rest of my life, so quality is important. That quality is worth paying for, as I see it.
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dies-l
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If you can afford it (meaning that it won't hurt you financially to buy it), and you want it, you get should get it (whatever "it" may be).
My thought, however, is that, as we grow in Christ, our desires will change. We will find that we will no longer want and value "nice things" as the world defines that. Instead, we will want things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As our desire for these things grows, we find that we do not have room in our lives for these and for extravgent material possessions.
But, I think it is problematic, for reasons that others have alluded to, to think of this question in terms of black and white morality. As the affluent people that we are, we will always have things. Often, it is more economical for us to buy better quality "things."
Also, sometimes the culture in which we live demands that we own things of a certain quality. As an attorney, for example, I need to own some nice clothing -- I could literally be jailed for choosing not to own a nice outfit or two. OTOH, I don't need to spend $1,000 on a suit to meet this expectation; a BOGO special at JCPenny is just fine for my needs.
And, sometimes our possessions open up opportunties to serve others. My wife and I live in a small apartment, and we plan to stay here until our family outgrows it. But, this places limitations on some of the ministries that we can provide to others. So, when it comes to things like small groups, we are glad that there are members of our church who have larger homes that can accomodate more people.
Ultimately, however, I believe that our desire as Christians should be to want "nice things" less and to want the fruit of the Spirit more.
Just my $.02. Thanks.
My thought, however, is that, as we grow in Christ, our desires will change. We will find that we will no longer want and value "nice things" as the world defines that. Instead, we will want things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As our desire for these things grows, we find that we do not have room in our lives for these and for extravgent material possessions.
But, I think it is problematic, for reasons that others have alluded to, to think of this question in terms of black and white morality. As the affluent people that we are, we will always have things. Often, it is more economical for us to buy better quality "things."
Also, sometimes the culture in which we live demands that we own things of a certain quality. As an attorney, for example, I need to own some nice clothing -- I could literally be jailed for choosing not to own a nice outfit or two. OTOH, I don't need to spend $1,000 on a suit to meet this expectation; a BOGO special at JCPenny is just fine for my needs.
And, sometimes our possessions open up opportunties to serve others. My wife and I live in a small apartment, and we plan to stay here until our family outgrows it. But, this places limitations on some of the ministries that we can provide to others. So, when it comes to things like small groups, we are glad that there are members of our church who have larger homes that can accomodate more people.
Ultimately, however, I believe that our desire as Christians should be to want "nice things" less and to want the fruit of the Spirit more.
Just my $.02. Thanks.
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Personally...I'm a minimalist...I like space and very little clutter...it seems...the more "stuff" we have the more we have to maintain our "stuff" and then all the "stuff" we own....can start to own us....
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dies-l
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Personally...I'm a minimalist...I like space and very little clutter...it seems...the more "stuff" we have the more we have to maintain our "stuff" and then all the "stuff" we own....can start to own us....
Isn't it the American way go into deeper debt to buy bigger houses to store all of our stuff that we don't need, that we bought in the first place with money we didn't have, to impress people that we don't even like?
We have a guy at our church who teaches about biblical financial management. One of the points he likes to make goes something like this:
"I don't worry about my car payment, because I don't have a car payment."
"I don't worry about my boat, because I don't own a boat."
"I don't worry about my vacation house, because I don't have a vaction house." etc. . .
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Yeah...I forgot about having enough room to store all our "stuff"
My pastor in CC Ft Laud did a wonderful topical teaching on the value of all of our "stuff"...really put things into perspective.
My mom always said....we don't always have to have the best of everything...but we make the best of everything we have....
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AnneSally
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LOL! yeah exactly!
I was changing the light fitting in my dining room and I said to the electrician that I didn't like the shape or colour of it and wanted to update it. Then he said "but this is back in fashion now, it's known as retro and people pay for this look." It was so out that it was back in.....haha.
(but I still changed it, it was too Brady Bunch 70's brown for me, lol.
)
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AnneSally
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Congrats on your home...yes...we should always have joy in what the Lord blesses us with...and your mum is right....owning a home is good stewardship rather than getting no return for your hard earned money by renting.
It certainly is a big responsibility though.
That was certainly a plus in buying the dishwasher....we plan to sell our home ASAP and new appliances will certainly help in the resale value.
It took us three years to replace everything...the dishwasher was the last item on the list...
Now I have to paint my cupboards and replace the wallpaper....
It was OK when everything was from the 70's...I had a "theme" going...
I've been working on this house...room by room for 5 years now and I'm still not done...LOL...by the time I am finished...everything will prolly be out-dated again!...
LOL, ah man that's funny.
Yeah I know what you mean by having the "theme" going. My house hadn't been touched since the 70's and once I started updating and changing a few door handles here and there the whole lot had to go including the light fittings because my 70's "theme" was gone and was looking a bit mish mash.Think Brady Bunch meets Shabby sorta kinda Retro Chic meets 2009 minus a dishwasher.
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