Why do shy guys go after loud, dominant women?

Just The Facts

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Well I think it is because shyness is usually accompanied by a lack of self confidence.

When you are not self-Confident you do not go after what you want but rather wait for things to happen to you.

So the shy man with no confidence waits for women to come to him. That means he is only going to get a very confident woman as shy women do not go after men ...............................they like shy men wait for the opposite sex to come after them.

[FONT=&quot]I don’t think it is a matter of a better match but rather of happenstance. Since they wait for the woman to come after them they are only ever going to get involved with dominant woman who go after what they want.[/FONT]
 
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Gardener101

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I didn't think really shy guys actually went after women at all. They're shy, right? They stay by themselves. If they actively pursue someone, they're not that shy, I think...
They are capable of pursuing women....granted more often than not they take far too much time 'getting to the point' and often end up 'friendzoned'....but they do take action.

I know a lot of loud, dominant girls in real life, and trust me, the shy, retiring type of boyfriends they date have usually worked for quite sometime winning them over.

What I tend to hear about such guys? "He's shy to people he does not know very well or when he is out with me in public, but in private I can't get him to shut up!"

:D
 
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Sindyan

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Really, I perfer shy girls so much. They are much "harder" and you have to purse them harder. Plus...there is so much more mystery in them....you don't know who you will find when you get through all of her anti-boy defenses, guard dogs, and other defenses. It's not in a conquer type of mindset, but a wooer mindset.

Plus as a shy guy...it forces me to be more a "leader" head...which even though it's hard at first...I feel better over time because i feel more like a "man".
 
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Miles

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Who is the quiet guy going to ask out: the friendly woman sitting next to him, or the mystery girl hiding at home? Men are generally expected to pursue, so even shy guys tend to put themselves out there and mingle. When they mingle, they're more likely to meet outgoing women. The loud woman isn't pursuing the shy guy when she sits next to him, but she does make herself more available... because she's there, and she probably wants to talk.

Why do outgoing women fall for shy guys? It seems to me that they want to feel like the star of the show, the life of the party etc. An outgoing man might steal her spotlight.
 
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overit

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I don't know why that is Gard but seems to be the case sometimes doesn't it?

I have never been attracted to shy guys though-at ALL

THey need to at least match me :)

That said and a little OT, most American women are happy, loud, laugh a lot, carefree, loose (in a good way) and somewhat boisterous-which I love.

They are also smart, can hold intellectual conversations and are independent and generally happy :) I love this about us really, it's such a blessing. We don't look our age for the most part and don't have very heavy burdens compared to others-I truly believe that in part feminism and equality have brought on a free and happy spirit to us.

Coming back from Argentina last weekend I was reminded how unhappy, withdrawn, bitter, old, critical and superficial women can be there. THey don't let go and have fun as we do. There topics of conversation are about who's wearing what and how the size 1 girl that walked by is fat, how unfair and crappy the world is with tons of whining intertwined :(

Contrast us girls that went down, loud, laugh out loud to you cry (or pee) , smile, dance around, giggle, talk a lot (good stuff also) we stuck out like sore thumbs this past wknd back in S. America.

There almost a resentment against women in the US because we have happier, less demanding and more equal lives. YOu can tell the difference even dancing. Women there only stick in groups-always snob the guys-are serious and straight faced (when they're not rolling their eyes at the girls next to them for not having the latest fashion jeans) and dancing includes barely moving (except your tango dancers which are exceptional!).

I can't tell you the faces of shock we got from women there (good ones from the guys lol) when Beastie Boys Jump Around came on and we got down ATL style LOL. Let go girls-it's time to PARTTTYYYYY

Signed,

a loud and dominant woman who likes men to equal her game ;)
 
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Miles

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I've been known to surprise women. If I like them, it can take a long time before they realize that I am shy. When a friendly person starts talking to me, I'm good at keeping the conversation going. I ask questions, I'm engaging, I'm interesting, and I'm interested in hearing what they have to say. I've even hosted some big parties. Nevertheless, I usually prefer to spend my free time reading, exercising, working on hobbies etc.; and if I don't feel like socializing, then I won't. As such, I might be better off marrying a fellow introvert. It would be nice to share those private interests with my spouse, and not always have to expend as much energy on external things.



Overit: "Jump Around" is by House of Pain, not the Beastie Boys. ;)
 
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overit

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You are right-my bad-I mixed them up as the previous song She's Crafty played b4. Wow, looks like the loud music and single jager shot did kill some brain cells after all. Or maybe it was all the beef I had-moooh LOL

YOu know what's funny though, is that even though I may seem out there to my friends-when I meet new people I'm very cautious and study them before deciding to open up or not and in many things I"m introverted (also like my quiet, alone time, reading, with my music etc). In fact being an INFP I'm a walking contradiction. I can come across as reserved or very friendly/flirty in the same night. No, I"m not bi-polar either.
 
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Miles

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You are right-my bad-I mixed them up as the previous song She's Crafty played b4. Wow, looks like the loud music and single jager shot did kill some brain cells after all. Or maybe it was all the beef I had-moooh LOL

YOu know what's funny though, is that even though I may seem out there to my friends-when I meet new people I'm very cautious and study them before deciding to open up or not and in many things I"m introverted (also like my quiet, alone time, reading, with my music etc). In fact being an INFP I'm a walking contradiction. I can come across as reserved or very friendly/flirty in the same night. No, I"m not bi-polar either.
I believe it. An old friend of mine is an INFP. He's also one of the biggest partiers I've ever met.
 
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Gardener101

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By the way Listening Ears, I got your rep comment ;) Seriously, I meant what I wrote. And to prove it, here is a pic of me during my last holiday in Barbados....






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3017_aweek_holiday.jpg

Who is that?

IT IS i
:D :D :D
 
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ecuison

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I think from my experiences it doesn't matter if they are too shy or to wild. I guess it comes down to who they are that makes a difference. I have been with women that were shy then went wild. Or wild women who go it out of there system and mellowed out.

Regardless, I just want a woman that would treat me right. More and more as I look in the world around me, I guess I am not in the right places or with the right crowds to find these women. Oh well.

God Bless,

-Ed
 
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