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New Blog Entries

  1. I Think I'll Stay Off Cf Today

    I don't even want to go to church today. I am frightened and discouraged. I would be better off to have died back in middle school. I am horrible and selfish and sin all the time. Ezekiel 24:1-14 “In the ninth year, in the tenth month, on the tenth day of the month, the word of the Lord came to me: "Son of man, write down the name of this day, this very day. The king of Babylon has laid siege to Jerusalem this very day. And utter a parable to the rebellious house and say to them, Thus...
  2. Trained To Find Fault

    My wife is a translator. Part of her job is finding fault. By this I mean proofreading. I've done cleaning as an occupation. To be a good cleaner, you develop the skill of asking "what is dirty in this room?" Not just the obvious dirt, but the behind the scene dust. You look for faults. Many jobs require the skill of finding fault. Doctor.What's wrong with your body? Mechanic. What's wrong with your car? But as we age, do we learn to apply this frame of mind in social situations? What's...
  3. Overwhelmed By The Bible

    I'm feeling overwhelmed with the Bible. I keep hearing that I need a good grasp and understanding of the Old Testament or I won't really appreciate the nuances of the New. I need to be as conversant in the Old Testament as the Jews were in Jesus' time on earth or there will be huge gaps in my understanding of the New Testament. I feel pressure to have more knowledge in my brain bank than I currently have considering how long I've been in the faith. I feel like a disappointment and yet that...
  4. Wooo!

    :bow: Good things from God. I remembered the other software thing! :D I've had the shape of their icon in my head but their name also came to mind yesterday. They also have ARK survival evolved I think which is free with their program and has the same RAM qualifications to test if my computer can run subnautica. :D I also made it to Judges yesterday! I have to reach Judges 15 today to keep up with this 90-day plan. It's tough but okay.
  5. Of Blessing

    of Blessing In a world filled with trials and tribulations; there is always the need and want for the dispensation of the Blessing. The Blessing is synonymous with Grace and favor from God. For once you have taken the Blood of Christ, you automatically become a prime target for the forces of darkness.
  6. 33 Day Marian Consecration Journal: The Beatitudes

    Note: I won't necessarily do a commentary for every day in the Marian Consecration, just ones that are noteworthy or I feel the need to share them with others. Well today is the day I start my 33 Day Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary, and by (perhaps, Divine) coincidence, the Feast of Saint Louis de Montfort. Satan hates Our Lady and those who have a deep devotion to her, and he hates this devotion of how purifies souls and makes them Saints, so he went on the offense today. The...
  7. The Animal Kingdom Is Inferior To Ours.

    Now I would be lying if I said that I do not find kittens and puppies to be absolutely ADORABLE. I would be lying if I didn't find the appearance of a Lion to be majestic and royal. There is a certain allure to a stallion that sort of illuminates a message of power, endurance, and comfort. Many animals have so many messages to give just in their existence. The eagle, being one of my favorite, speaks a bold solitude message. A message of fearlessness to rise to new heights above a storm....
  8. From Big Fish In Small Pond To .......

    I was addicted to rugby in the last year of High School. And made the first XIII. So in that small pond I was like a rock star. Fast forward 6 months later and I am at college. A huge college with thousands of fish. I became a tiny sardine. And I couldn't make the first XIII either. A huge blow to my extraordinary ego. From hero to zero. I've experienced this kind of transition several times in my life. Its as if God is trying to tell me something. Don't get carried away with success and all...
  9. First Test Wednesday

    Second Tuesday, the 8th then the 10th. :( Too much. I wish I had been able to take calculus though. Really want to get ahead as an engineer since I can't get my master's. Downloaded Unity and am looking for another software development program. I might get in a Skype study group for the tests, kind of nervous.
  10. A Trip To Florida

    This Saturday I will be going on a trip to Florida with my family. Please pray that it goes well. Thank you. I am a bit nervous about the trip because of my anxiety around people.
  11. Humanities Salvation

    Jesus came to save humanity and was 100 percent successful in His mission paying for the sins of this world. 1 John 2:2
  12. Wrong

    ...I'm so used to thinking the worst ...that I'm surprised when something good happens. Today I made a friend at work... Who wants to hang out with me. And that guy, he texted me back and we might meet up tommorow..I am beyond nervous...but I'm ready.. Another reason why I'm nervous is that on my moms way back home taking my brother to work..there were police stopping people and checking their IDs... Because apparently someone was abducted or something happened... So I'm just gonna...
  13. Just Because You Think You're Funny

    I tend to overdo the attempts at humour perhaps. Humour helps me address my anxiety and anxiety is the source of most of it . "Paul you're not funny OK". That might hurt initially but I know that we all have a slightly different sense of humour anyway. And then there are people who don't laugh at anything. They find all humour disrespectful. I'd be better off avoiding those people altogether. I like using humour to express my insights. Not that my insights are always right. I'm often off...
  14. Animals Aren't Loyal

    Who are you to be delusional in thinking that whatever animal you possess as a pet is actually loyal to you. I dare you to let your pets roam free outside with no leash or supervision and see if that pet of yours remains YOURS. I highly attest to the fact that if you were to do such a thing, your beloved pet would roam FREE...and simply be what it was created to be. An animal. But alas, you will keep that animal in bondage. In the jail cell that is YOUR HOME. And give it " love " and witness...
  15. Dogs Are Dogs

    It's as if people have some sick twisted hidden in plain sight fetish for beastiality. A hidden dark fetish for this animal that is the dog. To even know that many view their dog as children is quite disturbing and I find it to be odd and very perverse. People so gladly idolize this inferior species and some how make this creature the apple of their eye. The affection of their inner most desire. I find it sickening. I find it gross. I find it disgusting. I find it mentally retarded. I find...
  16. Oddly Good?

    My computer has just the right specs to run Subnautica, that I've been kind of obsessed with. It's $19.99 and I just activated my debit card, I checked on the app and I have more money than I thought. :0 I just need I think a steam account and I can get the game!
  17. Mountains Into Molehills

    Anyone who has mild to severe anxiety may well understand the feeling of "making mountains out of mole-hills". Not my favourite expression either by the way. I'll try to think of a better one. The job I started this year at first seemed monstrous. Now it feels very manageable. Once we get over our anxiety and face something, the problem shrinks. That is a positive message isn't it. Inch by inch, life's a sinch. Yard by yard Life is hard ? :) But that is a good reminder to anyone who feels...
  18. My Life

    Here's my story and how I overcame the addiction of self harm. When I was 10 I was molested by a family member and he told me if I told anybody I would get worse. I told my parents what happened and they didn't believe me until it was to late. This person would abuse me mentally and physically and one day I couldn't take much more of this. When I was 11 I wanted to end my life. I know you're thinking "man that's young to be thinking about suicide!" That was my only hope, or at least I...
  19. Primal Scream

    My prayers go out to the victims of torture. I try to put myself in their place but it is impossible to imagine the degree of horror. Absolute terror. Absolute. Surely these unfortunates are fast-tracked to Heaven. To die like that, they share in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Lord hear my prayer
  20. Polo Ticks

    OK I'm a bleeding heart liberal. There you've got me pegged now. I feel sorry for those on the fringe. I support windpower over coal and gas. I'm a bit green but I need to research more on that. I'm highly sensitive especially if someone disagrees with me. I will use political correctness to protect my POV. I don't believe in absolutes but I absolutely believe in relativism! I like Obama because he is different colour to me? Oops is that a racist comment? Sorry to offend....again. PC versus...
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