recently I have been screaming about the loss of relationships..
It hurts.. I beat myself up, all I can do is blame the other person. Im a fumbling idiot. I don't look as good on paper as the other people. Im not good enough... or Im to good for others.
Its a combination of being to good and not good enough...
I just want to be safe and Im not around people that care that I need and want to be safe. They are not thinking about me. I believe Im around the wrong culture of people. I need to find a higher level of people. Also, I need to be present enough to stop this situation, put a holt to it and ask myself what is really going on. Am I being manipulated and taken advantage of, or is this genuine. Most of the time, liars and thieves have spotted a sucker, and that sucker is me. For the want of love, I let them use me, abuse me and take advantage of me. ( Im a guy, so Im talking about women).
Its hard to be present and put a stop to it. Its like vampires eating me away... they are feeding on me..
I have to keep trusting God, Go to God and stay away from everyone else.
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Its hard when a relationship is over or never got started because I was to immature or scared, or frightened. the other person wanted a man and they got a boy instead. A scared frightened boy.. I guess Im not good enough..
Im trying to trust God and move on. The old is yesterday, They are gone. And it hurts so much... I have to move on,. Nothing is left but a dying memory... It sucks, this is so hard.
They never wanted me, they left. Im attempting to come out of my fantasy bond to accept this.. Its all so very hard. It hurts to be thrown away...
one solution is to somehow find people that are educated, broken and in the recovery process, and middle class ethical.
The main problem with the people in life has been a lack of conscious. That is what needs to change... They need some thinking power as well.
It hurts.. I beat myself up, all I can do is blame the other person. Im a fumbling idiot. I don't look as good on paper as the other people. Im not good enough... or Im to good for others.
Its a combination of being to good and not good enough...
I just want to be safe and Im not around people that care that I need and want to be safe. They are not thinking about me. I believe Im around the wrong culture of people. I need to find a higher level of people. Also, I need to be present enough to stop this situation, put a holt to it and ask myself what is really going on. Am I being manipulated and taken advantage of, or is this genuine. Most of the time, liars and thieves have spotted a sucker, and that sucker is me. For the want of love, I let them use me, abuse me and take advantage of me. ( Im a guy, so Im talking about women).
Its hard to be present and put a stop to it. Its like vampires eating me away... they are feeding on me..
I have to keep trusting God, Go to God and stay away from everyone else.
---
Its hard when a relationship is over or never got started because I was to immature or scared, or frightened. the other person wanted a man and they got a boy instead. A scared frightened boy.. I guess Im not good enough..
Im trying to trust God and move on. The old is yesterday, They are gone. And it hurts so much... I have to move on,. Nothing is left but a dying memory... It sucks, this is so hard.
They never wanted me, they left. Im attempting to come out of my fantasy bond to accept this.. Its all so very hard. It hurts to be thrown away...
one solution is to somehow find people that are educated, broken and in the recovery process, and middle class ethical.
The main problem with the people in life has been a lack of conscious. That is what needs to change... They need some thinking power as well.