Whew, Christmas is Over!
I'm pretty relieved. Christmas has become a stressful time for me. Everything's just so chaotic when I go "home" for Christmas. We have about 20 people in the house, so many presents that you can't walk (I'm not kidding! It's obscene!), a meal so big that there wasn't room to sit at the table. Plus there's a total of about 2 out of the 20 people who actually get along. So it's very tense emotionally. It just takes my blood pressure up a few notches. But that's one of my quirks--I really value order and predictability and that's just not part of Christmas with my family.
It stresses my dog out too. She went on a hunger strike and ate a total of about 5 bytes of dog food while we were there (over 4 days!). She survived off of that, the occasional cat food she ate out of spite, and a few table scraps (I usually don't like for her to eat table scraps, but I'd rather her eat half of a hamburger patty than go hungry all day). She's much calmer now that we're home. I think she's just worn out. I gave her some food and she ate a few bites and decided she was done. I bet she'll be back to normal tomorrow though.
I had an epiphany regarding my mother this weekend. Actually, I'm sure it's stuff I already knew but just hadn't put together. My mom is a miserable person. If I were to list the most miserable people I know, she would be #1. She's absolutely discontent and mad at the world. That's not the epiphany though. The epiphany is that miserable people will be miserable no matter their circumstances. Right now she thinks she's miserable because she's been "stuck" with the responsibility of caring for my handicapped cousin. But before that she was miserable because she's got health problems. And before that she was miserable because she had kids. Until she decides she doesn't want to be miserable anymore and is going to focus on all of the (many) positive things in her life, she will always be miserable. In the meantime, being around her feels like poison to me. I know you're not supposed to say stuff like that about your mom, but it really does. It just crushes my spirit to be around her for any period of time. I hardly ever visit anymore. I know she and my dad won't be around forever and that I need to visit more often so that I can spend time with my cousin who lives with them, but I have a hard time making myself do it.
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