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When Your Church Fails You

  1. I'm forced to follow my parents to whatever church they want to go. For the past ten or so years that church has been the one pastored by my uncle. The church is a disaster. Everything there falls apart. The leadership is impossible. My uncle's family is a wreck and he continually ruins relationships within the church and burns bridges. My dad is a very controlling and bitter person so I'm still forced to go there and play in the worship team even as everything around me falls apart. I have to come home to listen to incredibly depressing rants from my father about the failures of that church. And then I have to go church and play the piano and listen to everyone talk about how great things are there, how things are changing. But they never change. It's always the same uphill battle. I'm at my wits end. The youth group has never been a source of comfort. I'm the only female there and as it is, the group consists of about five people. The boys there just want to play games and they can't be depended on. There's no other women I can turn to in my church to ask for help. They all either adore my uncle or just wouldn't get it. No one understands the incredible suffering that my family goes through because of that place.

    This has been my lifelong experience with Christianity.

    Relationships ruined by leaders of the church. My bitter parents. Uphill battles and loneliness and crying to God in the middle of the night asking why me.

    Sometimes I wonder if there's more. Is this all there is? Am I doomed to stay in this crumbling church for the rest of my life? Would it be better anywhere else or just the same?

    I don't know. I'm tired. The body of Christ is supposed to be one. We are supposed to be unified. If I can't find solace in the body of Christ, where can I find it? In God, yes of course but then do I abandon the church?

    I am hurting. Time and time again the people who call themselves Christians have let me and my family down.

    Is there any hope?
    Long Beard and Darkhorse like this.


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  1. Long Beard
    Very heartfelt post... I enjoyed reading it and understand in my own way.

    There is hope of course... I took that as a rhetorical question as I'm sure you know... the body of Christ is one... but it is only the few that find it... your heart's desire makes me think you will... this experience God is giving you now will become something you can help others with in the future.
  2. Darkhorse
    Your problem is not Christ and His church, your problem is the people in this particular church. The biggest risk Jesus ever took was leaving His church in the hands of fallible people.

    But...every church is fallible, and none is perfect.

    It's certainly more difficult to be in a church where your family is so heavily involved.
    You need to get out on your own, in your own territory, and your own church.

    I'm sure this won't be easy, and maybe not possible for quite a while. But keep it in sight as a long-term goal. It's what you need.

    Until then, pray and work towards your new life (education, work experience, etc.).
      step_by_step likes this.
    1. step_by_step
      I don't doubt one bit that what I need is an escape from the confines of my family. But like you said, this isn't easy. I've been patiently waiting for God to give me an opportunity to leave and while he hasn't yet, I trust his timing. It's still difficult to be trapped in a place that makes me feel so helpless, though.
      Darkhorse likes this.