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Wasting Time

You could say I'm wasting time right now, writing this blog. Ok fair enough. I think my purpose in writing is to get past those dumb superficial thoughts that get in the way. And get to the gems. The golden thoughts. Ones not worn out by rumination.
I am capable of loving others. Trouble is I tend to give credit to myself instead of God. If love were important than getting a job, a good job, I'd gladly pursue love. Trouble is I haven't found a job I love. Writing don't pay yet and realistically never will.
Self-discipline is important isn't it. I am capable of it too, but my consistency varies considerably. I think I read somewhere that self-discipline doesn't come from willpower, it comes from level of self-worth. So if you truly believe you can do it, you will persist. Better we spend more time on developing self-worth then.