Topic- Top Five Churchy Terms/Jargon I'd Thank Our Lord To Never Hear Again
Qualifiers- I'm sick to crap of hearing them; I'm starting to think half of these are actually code for something else;
Sequence- unranked;
* Christ-Follower. You're a Christian, you pretentious jerk! There's nothing wrong with saying so!
* Christian Courting/Courtship. Admittedly, I'm annoyed as much at the concept as I am sick of hearing the term. Nevertheless it sucks. Unless the father of the bride has a dowry ready, this idiotic word and practice both need to go. NOW!
* Testimony. I'm sorry, but is there something wrong with calling it "beginning of faith", "my origin", "my road to Damascus", "my meandering and almost offensively pointless story" or something else? ANYTHING else?
* Seeker/Seeking. I swear to think there was a time when such folks were called "undecideds" or "visitors".
* Unity. Some idiot says "unity" but what I hear is "forget whatever you believe, let's do things *MY* way".
-- The Epic List of Runners Up
* Stumbling block. In the Scriptural sense, this is a barrier to faith. John 6:53-58 caused some people to walk away from the faith. That was a stumbling block for them. If you're already a believer, something that simply "confuses" you isn't a "stumbling block". If you're confused, that's your cue to read your Bible or talk to your priest. But for crying out loud, don't call it a "stumbling block". Because it isn't. This didn't make the list because it's overused only by a minority. When EVERYONE starts using it incorrectly, I'll add it to the top five.
* Non-denominational. EVERYbody has a denomination; some merely lack the courage, conviction or IQ to realize it. But this isn't on the list because I only have five slots.
* Legalistic (and derivatives). Going any further into this woudl require breaking a confidence I promised to keep forever. Still, trust me, this word is *WAY* past its prime. But this hasn't been abused quite enough yet to warrant inclusion in the top five.
* Judgmental. St. Matthew 7 says not to judge hypocritically. It *NEVER* says not to judge. When your peers or your priest call you out on the carpet for acting a fool, damn right they're being "judgmental" and it's their job! This didn't make the list because the word itself is legit; it's the usage that's off-kilter.
* Christian Spirituality. I don't know who dreamed up this pretentious idiocy but it sounds like the beginning of either a cult or heresy. Or crap, maybe both. Wait, am I being judgmental?
* Fellowship. Next time, just say "converse". It's what you meant and it's what you did. So just say so.
* Authentic. Grr...
* Relevant. This one is Authentic's less attractive younger sister (which is really saying something). I taught a small group for two years. By the end, I'd decided I would sell my house and join up with the Amish if just one more person said the word "relevant". Because, hey, even if the Amish use this idiotic word, at least it'd be in German! So that's something! Why isn't this one in the top five? Good question, actually...
* Missional. I don't know what the crap this even means.
Qualifiers- I'm sick to crap of hearing them; I'm starting to think half of these are actually code for something else;
Sequence- unranked;
* Christ-Follower. You're a Christian, you pretentious jerk! There's nothing wrong with saying so!
* Christian Courting/Courtship. Admittedly, I'm annoyed as much at the concept as I am sick of hearing the term. Nevertheless it sucks. Unless the father of the bride has a dowry ready, this idiotic word and practice both need to go. NOW!
* Testimony. I'm sorry, but is there something wrong with calling it "beginning of faith", "my origin", "my road to Damascus", "my meandering and almost offensively pointless story" or something else? ANYTHING else?
* Seeker/Seeking. I swear to think there was a time when such folks were called "undecideds" or "visitors".
* Unity. Some idiot says "unity" but what I hear is "forget whatever you believe, let's do things *MY* way".
-- The Epic List of Runners Up
* Stumbling block. In the Scriptural sense, this is a barrier to faith. John 6:53-58 caused some people to walk away from the faith. That was a stumbling block for them. If you're already a believer, something that simply "confuses" you isn't a "stumbling block". If you're confused, that's your cue to read your Bible or talk to your priest. But for crying out loud, don't call it a "stumbling block". Because it isn't. This didn't make the list because it's overused only by a minority. When EVERYONE starts using it incorrectly, I'll add it to the top five.
* Non-denominational. EVERYbody has a denomination; some merely lack the courage, conviction or IQ to realize it. But this isn't on the list because I only have five slots.
* Legalistic (and derivatives). Going any further into this woudl require breaking a confidence I promised to keep forever. Still, trust me, this word is *WAY* past its prime. But this hasn't been abused quite enough yet to warrant inclusion in the top five.
* Judgmental. St. Matthew 7 says not to judge hypocritically. It *NEVER* says not to judge. When your peers or your priest call you out on the carpet for acting a fool, damn right they're being "judgmental" and it's their job! This didn't make the list because the word itself is legit; it's the usage that's off-kilter.
* Christian Spirituality. I don't know who dreamed up this pretentious idiocy but it sounds like the beginning of either a cult or heresy. Or crap, maybe both. Wait, am I being judgmental?
* Fellowship. Next time, just say "converse". It's what you meant and it's what you did. So just say so.
* Authentic. Grr...
* Relevant. This one is Authentic's less attractive younger sister (which is really saying something). I taught a small group for two years. By the end, I'd decided I would sell my house and join up with the Amish if just one more person said the word "relevant". Because, hey, even if the Amish use this idiotic word, at least it'd be in German! So that's something! Why isn't this one in the top five? Good question, actually...
* Missional. I don't know what the crap this even means.
