Lately I've been dealing with my depression, and one of the symptoms, being my lack of interest in doing stuff I usually love to do. You can tell by how long it's been since I've posted a entry here, and the fact that I've all but gave up on my other Blog, Christian Serial Comics, and now I'm here to talk about the Masks I've been wearing to protect myself from, well, I guess Life itself. It seems like three of them in particular tend to be the demise of my happiness.
The first Mask I seem to love to hide behind, is my Mask of Boredom, which is really just me always saying "I'm bored" but not ever doing anything about it, or worse trying to do something about it, then failing, then immediately giving up, because I failed.
The Second Mask I had come to realize I was wearing was my Mask of Love, which is even worse for me because I tend to Love with my whole heart. Basically, the Mask of Love is when you know in your heart that you love something or someone, but never have an opportunity to prove or show it, so this mask gives you the excuse that, "If I don't find Love, I guess I'm not meant to." Which is completely wrong.
And Finally the third Mask is my Mask of Change, which is a real kicker. See the Mask of Change, I've come to realize, is a Mask of Low Self Esteem, basically deep in your heart and mind you think you're not good enough, and in response to that feeling, your personality changes depending on who you're with. So you're always perfect to everyone you meet, or spend time with.
And I Have a really bad case of this one, because for me the Mask of Change has been on so long that it has become subconscious and second nature for me, and I can no longer control it my self.
I want to be real, I really do. But the Mask of Change prevents it for me.
If you're suffering from any of these Masks too, pm me because I understand, it always seems like I have to wear them just to survive, when I don't. Not to mention the other 1000+ Masks I wear that I haven't even given names to yet.
We can be friends.
Anyways, I usually pray before and after, but this time, I'll just pray now.
Dear Heavenly Father, I want to be real, please help others who feel the same way, and help them shatter their masks In Jesus Name, Amen.
If you feel like your wearing a mask that I haven't named, it's probably one of the 1000+ ones I have, in that case, give it a name, like Mask of ___ or whatsoever you can think of, I heard that the first step to solving a problem is to realize you have one, and I guess the second step is to have Jesus take care of it.
I'll be real in my posts from now on. I figured since this blog had a lot more people reading it than I thought, I should at least do that much.
The first Mask I seem to love to hide behind, is my Mask of Boredom, which is really just me always saying "I'm bored" but not ever doing anything about it, or worse trying to do something about it, then failing, then immediately giving up, because I failed.
The Second Mask I had come to realize I was wearing was my Mask of Love, which is even worse for me because I tend to Love with my whole heart. Basically, the Mask of Love is when you know in your heart that you love something or someone, but never have an opportunity to prove or show it, so this mask gives you the excuse that, "If I don't find Love, I guess I'm not meant to." Which is completely wrong.
And Finally the third Mask is my Mask of Change, which is a real kicker. See the Mask of Change, I've come to realize, is a Mask of Low Self Esteem, basically deep in your heart and mind you think you're not good enough, and in response to that feeling, your personality changes depending on who you're with. So you're always perfect to everyone you meet, or spend time with.
And I Have a really bad case of this one, because for me the Mask of Change has been on so long that it has become subconscious and second nature for me, and I can no longer control it my self.
I want to be real, I really do. But the Mask of Change prevents it for me.
If you're suffering from any of these Masks too, pm me because I understand, it always seems like I have to wear them just to survive, when I don't. Not to mention the other 1000+ Masks I wear that I haven't even given names to yet.
We can be friends.
Anyways, I usually pray before and after, but this time, I'll just pray now.
Dear Heavenly Father, I want to be real, please help others who feel the same way, and help them shatter their masks In Jesus Name, Amen.
If you feel like your wearing a mask that I haven't named, it's probably one of the 1000+ ones I have, in that case, give it a name, like Mask of ___ or whatsoever you can think of, I heard that the first step to solving a problem is to realize you have one, and I guess the second step is to have Jesus take care of it.
I'll be real in my posts from now on. I figured since this blog had a lot more people reading it than I thought, I should at least do that much.
