Would you say that the true definition of a loser is someone who keeps losing? If that is the case, then I am the ultimate loser. I keep losing. Everything in my life keeps going down the drain.
As soon as something shows promise and looks good and I trust it enough to invest my time and my heart and my life, it breaks apart and withers away. Instantly. Just like that. As if my heart didn't matter. No rhyme or reason to it at all as if I never was worthy of having it in the first place.
Why? Why do I keep losing? Why does it wait until everything I have is invested before it falls apart...ENSURING that I will be broken in the end? Why must I continue to be broken the way I have been. Why does everyone and everything I love leave me.
Here I stand, in the lonely darkness of defeat once again broken and crying. Is there really any hope for something or anything good to happen in my life? Just when I thought the seasons were changing and I could look up from my despair and give a little smile, I was smashed down to the ground again.
*sigh* All my fears about it came true. That it would end in my heartbreak. Even though I was promised that it wouldn't. Even though I was told I wouldn't be hurt by it again and trust that I wouldn't get that message...I got it. And it hurts. It really, truly hurts.
As soon as something shows promise and looks good and I trust it enough to invest my time and my heart and my life, it breaks apart and withers away. Instantly. Just like that. As if my heart didn't matter. No rhyme or reason to it at all as if I never was worthy of having it in the first place.
Why? Why do I keep losing? Why does it wait until everything I have is invested before it falls apart...ENSURING that I will be broken in the end? Why must I continue to be broken the way I have been. Why does everyone and everything I love leave me.
Here I stand, in the lonely darkness of defeat once again broken and crying. Is there really any hope for something or anything good to happen in my life? Just when I thought the seasons were changing and I could look up from my despair and give a little smile, I was smashed down to the ground again.
*sigh* All my fears about it came true. That it would end in my heartbreak. Even though I was promised that it wouldn't. Even though I was told I wouldn't be hurt by it again and trust that I wouldn't get that message...I got it. And it hurts. It really, truly hurts.