The day I got saved was a typical day at first. However, I was compelled to read a lot of the Bible. My brother inspired me to do so. I was reading parts of the gospels then I randomly jumped to Revelations. My depression and anxiety were horrible that day. My mind wouldn't quiet down. I thought about killing myself more times than I could count. I would never do such a thing because I never wanted to hurt someone I loved like that. However, the thoughts were strong and I thought to myself "Wow, with the amount of times I thought of killing myself, its' a miracle I am still here."
This next part of the story all takes place within about a 10 minute time frame. It all happened fast but felt really long. A few hours later, I felt really strange. I felt angry and troubled. I also felt really warm, my face was red. I took my temperature and it was normal. I felt compelled to pray to God. I repented for my sins. I had done this before, but this time I felt genuine regret and my repentance came from the heart. I was actually crying hard. At this time I was researching a lot about different theories about life and reading the Bible. After I repented, I asked God for the TRUTH and for strength. I never asked God for the truth before. I also wasn't expecting God to speak to me. After that, I started reading Revelations again, and this time it shook me. I was blown away by it.
I started thinking a lot about the Bible. (Note: this is the first time I actually had faith and was looking at Jesus as who he actually is) I thought to myself "Wow, I wonder what it would have been like to know Jesus. It must have been amazing. I wonder if I would have betrayed him like Judas." I felt sad, thinking that I would. Then I thought "No, that doesn't matter, because I am here right now, and everything in my life, good and bad, has brought me closer to God." Then right when I thought that, this powerful force filled the room. I got a flash, like a slideshow of all the grudges and painful experiences I was holding on to, all the people that hurt me. I thought, "I forgive them."
Then, that presence that filled the room came into my soul. The center of my chest, my heart. It blew me away. I turned around and my face fell into my knees. I was crying uncontrollably. I knew this force was the Holy Ghost, and I knew it was God. The presence was pure love. Love isn't even the word because it was so much deeper. It was the deepest love I ever felt in my life. It is beyond all of our minds to be able to love anything the way the God loves us. I knew it was impossible for anyone to love me more than how God loves me, and I knew I couldn't love anyone the way that God loves them.
It was true, unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness. I felt like I was reunited with a family member who I haven't seen in decades, and that description doesn't even come close. I weeped and weeped and let out a cry and made a sound that I never made before. I though to myself "wow, all the hate in the world hurts me, I can't imagine how much it hurts God" then I cried more, but then I got this feeling, like God was saying "I know, I know" kind of like I was a baby, and I was in his arms while he rocked me, telling me that everything is alright. I literally felt like a baby. I never felt so understood in my entire life.
Never have I felt so loved. The whole time this was happening I felt this warmth all over but especially in my chest. I felt this warm light around my heart, and I felt it smother the darkness I had inside. It was like he expelled it from my body. I felt the darkness leave me.
While this was happening I thought to myself "wow, this is so amazing, I want to feel like this forever but this is too overwhelming!" then I knew I was going to Heaven, I just knew it. I knew I'd see my brother there too. I was smiling and laughing. I was also afraid that someone would walk into the room I was in because I was crying and sobbing, but I was happy. A little while after, the feeling dissipated. I was just sitting there, nothing was on my mind. It was peace, pure peace. My depressive thoughts, my worries, my pointless daydreams, the worries of tomorrow, all vanished.
I heard the crickets around me chirping, I heard the birds, and the frogs. It was like I had a bag over my head all my life, and God took it off. It was like I was hearing for the first time. Nature was in perfect tune. It sounded like a symphony. I felt like I have been awoken from a deep painful slumber that consumed me.
I spent the night watching testimonies, praising the Lord and thanking him. I kept crying every once in awhile because I was so grateful. I got on my knees and thanked him so many times. It was the most powerful experience of my life. Never in my life could I imagine such peace and love. The next day, I felt so light, I was walking up straight, I had strength that I didn't know was possible, I felt confident, I woke up grateful. I would burst into tears because I was so grateful. This happened a few times at work and people probably thought I was insane but I was so happy I didn't really care. I felt overwhelming love for everyone and everything. It was like I was looking at life in such a different way. I was a new creature. I was different and I still am. After I got saved, I started reading the Bible everyday, and I would come across verses that further confirmed my whole experience. It explained everything that happened to me.
I am now in the process of coming off of my anxiety and depression medicine. I do not condone this but God took away my depression and anxiety, and I feel like it is no longer necessary.
Praise The Lord! Thank you Heavenly Father, thank you Jesus Christ from saving me from a sea of darkness! Thank you for showing me the light! Thank you for taking away the darkest parts of my soul! Thank you for dying for me and loving me in ways that are indescribable! I love you Heavenly Father, amen.
This next part of the story all takes place within about a 10 minute time frame. It all happened fast but felt really long. A few hours later, I felt really strange. I felt angry and troubled. I also felt really warm, my face was red. I took my temperature and it was normal. I felt compelled to pray to God. I repented for my sins. I had done this before, but this time I felt genuine regret and my repentance came from the heart. I was actually crying hard. At this time I was researching a lot about different theories about life and reading the Bible. After I repented, I asked God for the TRUTH and for strength. I never asked God for the truth before. I also wasn't expecting God to speak to me. After that, I started reading Revelations again, and this time it shook me. I was blown away by it.
I started thinking a lot about the Bible. (Note: this is the first time I actually had faith and was looking at Jesus as who he actually is) I thought to myself "Wow, I wonder what it would have been like to know Jesus. It must have been amazing. I wonder if I would have betrayed him like Judas." I felt sad, thinking that I would. Then I thought "No, that doesn't matter, because I am here right now, and everything in my life, good and bad, has brought me closer to God." Then right when I thought that, this powerful force filled the room. I got a flash, like a slideshow of all the grudges and painful experiences I was holding on to, all the people that hurt me. I thought, "I forgive them."
Then, that presence that filled the room came into my soul. The center of my chest, my heart. It blew me away. I turned around and my face fell into my knees. I was crying uncontrollably. I knew this force was the Holy Ghost, and I knew it was God. The presence was pure love. Love isn't even the word because it was so much deeper. It was the deepest love I ever felt in my life. It is beyond all of our minds to be able to love anything the way the God loves us. I knew it was impossible for anyone to love me more than how God loves me, and I knew I couldn't love anyone the way that God loves them.
It was true, unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness. I felt like I was reunited with a family member who I haven't seen in decades, and that description doesn't even come close. I weeped and weeped and let out a cry and made a sound that I never made before. I though to myself "wow, all the hate in the world hurts me, I can't imagine how much it hurts God" then I cried more, but then I got this feeling, like God was saying "I know, I know" kind of like I was a baby, and I was in his arms while he rocked me, telling me that everything is alright. I literally felt like a baby. I never felt so understood in my entire life.
Never have I felt so loved. The whole time this was happening I felt this warmth all over but especially in my chest. I felt this warm light around my heart, and I felt it smother the darkness I had inside. It was like he expelled it from my body. I felt the darkness leave me.
While this was happening I thought to myself "wow, this is so amazing, I want to feel like this forever but this is too overwhelming!" then I knew I was going to Heaven, I just knew it. I knew I'd see my brother there too. I was smiling and laughing. I was also afraid that someone would walk into the room I was in because I was crying and sobbing, but I was happy. A little while after, the feeling dissipated. I was just sitting there, nothing was on my mind. It was peace, pure peace. My depressive thoughts, my worries, my pointless daydreams, the worries of tomorrow, all vanished.
I heard the crickets around me chirping, I heard the birds, and the frogs. It was like I had a bag over my head all my life, and God took it off. It was like I was hearing for the first time. Nature was in perfect tune. It sounded like a symphony. I felt like I have been awoken from a deep painful slumber that consumed me.
I spent the night watching testimonies, praising the Lord and thanking him. I kept crying every once in awhile because I was so grateful. I got on my knees and thanked him so many times. It was the most powerful experience of my life. Never in my life could I imagine such peace and love. The next day, I felt so light, I was walking up straight, I had strength that I didn't know was possible, I felt confident, I woke up grateful. I would burst into tears because I was so grateful. This happened a few times at work and people probably thought I was insane but I was so happy I didn't really care. I felt overwhelming love for everyone and everything. It was like I was looking at life in such a different way. I was a new creature. I was different and I still am. After I got saved, I started reading the Bible everyday, and I would come across verses that further confirmed my whole experience. It explained everything that happened to me.
I am now in the process of coming off of my anxiety and depression medicine. I do not condone this but God took away my depression and anxiety, and I feel like it is no longer necessary.
Praise The Lord! Thank you Heavenly Father, thank you Jesus Christ from saving me from a sea of darkness! Thank you for showing me the light! Thank you for taking away the darkest parts of my soul! Thank you for dying for me and loving me in ways that are indescribable! I love you Heavenly Father, amen.
