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Self-Pity

I ****ed up big time at work. I'm looking down the barrel of being fired. I'm a useless piece of ****.
I cant tell you the details. I mean even if I did, you would judge me and say I deserve to suffer. And that is my self-judgment too. I deserve to suffer.
All I know is, you cant read people's minds. I thought I could, but I cant. Sometimes you just have to say "I ****ed up and admit it. I am human after all. But no. What I did was hypocritical. Call myself Christian? I'm not just a sinner. I'm a fake.