Reflecting On God's Beauty In The Mountains

So yesterday I went to this really pretty waterfall excluded in the mountains to hike, have fun, and reflect on Gods goodness in nature. I get a sense of euphoria and joy when I am around really pretty scenery in nature. The waterfall was absolutely beautiful and it had this small little pool at the bottom perfect for swimming on a hot day. It was one of the most beautiful nature spots I've ever been to, I've been wanting to go to this spot for a while, it's like a mile hike to get to but so worth it.

So I bring my fishing pole just to try out fishing at this waterfall. I end up catching like 5 fish in an hour which is pretty good. They were small but it was so fun being excluded up there in the mountains at this cool little pool, they were actually breeds of fish that are pretty rare around where I live, one is called a ''red-breast sunfish'', a very bright and beautiful fish [see pic below]. The waterfall was connected to a small creek but it had decent sized pools along it where I continued to catch small fish, none being bigger than my hand... but it was fun. The joy of being in such a beautiful, secluded spot and reflecting on God's beauty and goodness can almost be overwhelming.

I took lots of pictures and reflected on Gods glory and goodness... and when I think about it, I get a sense of the love and goodness of God and I question, ''is this joy really real?'' and ''can i really be this happy? Is that really allowed?'' I will feel a great sense of euphoric joy from God sometimes but I have been so used to living in darkness that i will brush it off as if that is ''off-limits'' for me... but deep down I want that purity and to embrace God's glory. I know that most people are like this but I'm a believer and I do not want to continue in that. I want to be filled with God's joy and love like that but something inside me rejects it because I am scared of being that happy... it's like I don't know how to accept being joyful, blessed, and happy in life. How can I crucify whatever it is inside me that won't allow me to pursue God's goodness like that? I wonder ''why am I like that''?

Have any of you experienced that? How did you overcome? I was watching a Todd White sermon today and he said ''the devil is a LIAR'' and just the way he said it made me really understand on a deep level how much of a liar the devil really is, and he was saying how guilt, shame, and condemnation all come from the devil... we all know this but i just really ''felt'' what he was saying on a deeper level this time. And after starting to see the goodness of God, i am starting to see how all this negative junk in the world, all the lies, hatred, wars, gossip, slander, and every other evil REALLY DOES come from the devil and is not of God...

Here are some pics i took