Pulling An Old Tree Stump Out Of The Ground...

I was recently trying to describe to someone what it's like trying to recover/get delivered from drug or alcohol addiction. I used the analogy that it's like an old tree stump in the ground and trying to pull it out... it doesn't just "come out" very easy, because the roots have grown down deep and that tree has made its home there and it takes LOTS of work to get that stump out of the ground.

That's how it has been for me with getting delivered and set free from my dark and rough past. I had a rough childhood/adolescence and getting delivered of all the pain, trauma, and wounds from childhood has been so tough. What happens when, after lots of work, maneuvering, levering, and stress, you finally get that old tree stump out of the ground? That patch of dirt/earth where the stump was is completely mangled, damaged, and uneven... it looks strange. That's how I feel often. I'm going through so much "maneuvering" in my soul that I often feel left mangled and damaged like that. Lots of abuse, neglect, and generational curses in my childhood that I am slowly recovering from.

God has been slowly delivering me of my past. I suppose the biggest victory of mine is my deliverance of drug and cigarette addiction. Although I don't have too long completely sober from drugs, this is the longest I have been sober since I was about 13 years old. I have lots of hope for the future. And I haven't had (or even craved) a cigarette in over 6 months which is amazing, considering how addicted I was to nicotine for so long. God has even placed me into an addiction ministry where I can encourage and minister to people with all kinds of addictions.

Although I can feel many of the old habits and painful ways of the old man and from childhood, I am being renewed day by day. I have had so many joyful experiences with God and with Jesus in the 6 short years I've been pursuing Him. Sometimes I feel horrible, not knowing my right hand from my left... and then other days I feel incredibly blessed and favoured by God, thinking things like "wow, does life get any better than this?" and "why do I deserve to be blessed like this?" I just want the ways of the old man gone for good, and to live in a smooth, steady stream of faith, hope, love, light, joy, and peace.

I suppose it's all in God's perfect timing.

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