I feel guilty some days approaching God in prayer. because I know I'm not living out the Gospels in reality. Just getting swallowed up in secular concerns like money and work.
I think its like the one step forward, two steps back cliche. We feel we aren't really advancing much on our faith journey. Just killing time until we die and hope by some stroke of magical luck God will save us from ourselves in the next life.
But I got this thought that each day is just doing our best to stay in touch with God, even we feel unworthy or wallowing in sin. Hey I can get hateful thoughts just like anybody else. Blame others or not take responsibility.
I think I have an envy of those really reverent, prayerful people. They look so disciplined. So consistent. Almost sinless. And they spend so much time praying for others. How selfless is that! How Christian. So I guess I just add the sin of envy to the list.
I think its like the one step forward, two steps back cliche. We feel we aren't really advancing much on our faith journey. Just killing time until we die and hope by some stroke of magical luck God will save us from ourselves in the next life.
But I got this thought that each day is just doing our best to stay in touch with God, even we feel unworthy or wallowing in sin. Hey I can get hateful thoughts just like anybody else. Blame others or not take responsibility.
I think I have an envy of those really reverent, prayerful people. They look so disciplined. So consistent. Almost sinless. And they spend so much time praying for others. How selfless is that! How Christian. So I guess I just add the sin of envy to the list.
