I'm feeling overwhelmed with the Bible. I keep hearing that I need a good grasp and understanding of the Old Testament or I won't really appreciate the nuances of the New. I need to be as conversant in the Old Testament as the Jews were in Jesus' time on earth or there will be huge gaps in my understanding of the New Testament.
I feel pressure to have more knowledge in my brain bank than I currently have considering how long I've been in the faith. I feel like a disappointment and yet that sinking feeling doesn't motivate me to take the daily steps to make progress.
I know my Salvation comes from Jesus so there's no pressure for me to earn any merit. I'm just disappointed in myself for not being as physically disciplined as my mind would have me be.
I feel that as the Spirit lives eternally so I will always know and remember what I put in my brain now and I want that to be good and useful information but I consistently fill it with rubbish.
The overwhelming feeling of not fully appreciating Scripture instantaneously makes me not want to bother, to give up, to not grow. I think maybe because I'm female I'm not supposed to get the full understanding the way a man does. I'm not sure as an unmarried woman still living with parents how much I'm supposed to know and understand. What my place and purpose is.
I know it's not about accumulating Bible trivia or becoming equal to God in knowledge it's about getting to know Him and the only pressure and expectation is coming from myself.
Please pray I can get back into the bible and turn the internal study mode off to just be and appreciate God in the moment.
I feel pressure to have more knowledge in my brain bank than I currently have considering how long I've been in the faith. I feel like a disappointment and yet that sinking feeling doesn't motivate me to take the daily steps to make progress.
I know my Salvation comes from Jesus so there's no pressure for me to earn any merit. I'm just disappointed in myself for not being as physically disciplined as my mind would have me be.
I feel that as the Spirit lives eternally so I will always know and remember what I put in my brain now and I want that to be good and useful information but I consistently fill it with rubbish.
The overwhelming feeling of not fully appreciating Scripture instantaneously makes me not want to bother, to give up, to not grow. I think maybe because I'm female I'm not supposed to get the full understanding the way a man does. I'm not sure as an unmarried woman still living with parents how much I'm supposed to know and understand. What my place and purpose is.
I know it's not about accumulating Bible trivia or becoming equal to God in knowledge it's about getting to know Him and the only pressure and expectation is coming from myself.
Please pray I can get back into the bible and turn the internal study mode off to just be and appreciate God in the moment.
