Part 2
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"This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief." - 1 Timothy 1:15
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"This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief." - 1 Timothy 1:15
Unable to really give an in depth account of every particular of my life I would start my story in the midst my depravity; in a life bearing the fruit of that which all flesh has been born, namely: sin.
I first learned to manufacture a crude form of meth amphetamine which some refer to as "lithium", or "battery dope" in a small town just east of my hometown. This form of meth is called "lithium" or "battery dope" because one of the compounds used in its manufacturing is a small strip of lithium metal found within the lithium batteries you may use for your camera or your walkman. I was taught in a small camp upon a hill in a forested area just outside of town. This hill was once a logging site many years ago and there is a trench dug down the side of the hill where draft horses would drag down the large logs from the site above. This area is fittingly named "Devil's Elbow" because of the road which wraps around the side of the hill about 50-100 feet from it's base. This road turns sharply around the hillside and is quite dangerous for anyone who chances taking the corner too fast due to the substantial drop off down to the creek bed below. For me the name "Devil's Elbow" is fitting because as I look back on it all, it is the place where the devil had me in an extremely tight headlock.
I was an apprentice of a local manufacturer and was allowed to work under his tutelage. I took to the simple chemistry quickly and impressed my teacher with my product. By the end of the summer he sent me out with these words: "Go set the world on fire." And that's what I set out to do. I despised government and all things established. I truly hated the world and blamed my miserable life on my surroundings. I never learned to cook meth to be a drug dealer or to make money. I learned to manufacture meth in order to feed my own addiction… an addiction I chose to use to suppress the truth and that truth was that I was dead and empty inside. I was confronted with the same problem every man has to face in his own heart: He is depraved, empty, devoid of all light, and full of sin. Meth was my synthetic answer to the problem.
For some this problem is supplanted with what seems "good" in this world: family and friends, career and success, money and fame; throw in a white picket fence and a puppy dog and there you have it: The American dream. It's a "dream" in which a man can contrive some sense of satisfaction from the "pride of life" that the god of this world affords him. It's the world's answer, it quiets the soul, it seems right to a man, but as it is written "The end of it is death". For me, this "answer" alluded me, so I created a world after my own liking and a god of my own design. I threw the yoke of the world off of my back in bitterness and sought any other means possible to relieve myself of the pain and emptiness which had troubled me from my youth.
to be continued...
