I think God spoke to me not long ago. To make a long story short, I was starting to "relapse" into the usual stuff I looked at for pleasure, and although I was feeling this tug at my conscience to stop, it wasn't strong enough, I guess.
But during this "process", something happened. I was going through one link to another on GQ's official website on my tablet, this time at least. For clarification, GQ is a crappy "men's" magazine that I would never subscribe to and wouldn't be caught dead reading. Heck, most guys wouldn't. It supposedly caters to "metrosexuals"--guys who are fashion-conscious but inexplicably heterosexual. Honestly, I have no idea how GQ finds an audience. Testosterone sure is a powerful hormone.
Anyway, I could care less about fashion or the magazine's stupid liberal politics, but I did know from a few image searches that lots of hot women would sexily pose in it, which I assume is the primary reason anybody buys the publication at all--they want to be horny and sophisticated. I still don't get why this one mother who went on a vacation to Europe (this was from a magazine I actually DO enjoy reading for its ARTICLES) actually admitted to her teenage son reading that magazine. What kind of mother buys her son softcore inappropriate content like that?
Anyway, something caught my eye as I was sifting through the magazine's archives of articles, something from several years ago that I'm sure nobody paid attention to back then. Keep in mind that while I was "searching" for women, there was also this sense in me that knew that I was wasting my time with filth.
Some inappropriate content addict talked about how he felt "guilty" about liking inappropriate content were it seemed as if the women were being "mistreated". They weren't, of course, it was just for the effect, it's sort of a kink or something, I guess. But what appalled me was that it took THAT to make him stop and question himself. I'm sure it wasn't that simple, but it made me realize something.
It's disgusting. I felt ashamed at myself. I wasn't like this guy. I have never watched an X-rated film, and never intend to. As bad as my "inappropriate content addiction" has been, I've never really gone beyond tasteful, raunchy ads and such, thank goodness, and I intend to stop that as soon as I can. Someone else on here has sent me some free software that I intend to use, if it gets that bad. So far I've found that my "rate" of doing this is less than it used to be. But I digress.
I realized how disgusted with this guy I was, and how disgusted I was with myself. I couldn't believe how much his morals had eroded that it took him that long to finally feel the shame he deserved from the inappropriate content, only to be like, "Eh, it was all consensual, it's part of the act! So it's ok for me to be addicted to this stuff! It's ok for me to focus my life on hedonism as I'll be young forever! It's ok for me to do nothing but watch, think about, and have tons of sex! My whole life is going to be about having sex with women, and nothing bad's going to come of it!"
The thing is, if I ever went to a club with these people, to try and embrace this "sex addict" identity, I think I'd be disgusted and leave. What's so great about a paradise if it only lasts for a couple of seconds and you can never escape into normality?
Even though I hadn't really "finished", I felt so ashamed for daring to step back into this world. I was so disgusted with myself. I don't hate myself. I'm just ashamed for having associated with and subconsciously looked up to the steaming piles of filth that live their lives like this.
On one hand, I know that I'd never completely be like "them"--the sex addicts, the inappropriate content addicts, the chronic masturbators, the perverts (people who like seeing attractive nudes, not pedophiles, the word has changed definition in the 21st century--apparently that's still "wrong" but everything else is ok). But I'm tempted by their world because it just seems so happy and crazy and wild and you only feel good feelings.
And yet I'm also disgusted. How could that man take so long to draw the line? How could he let his mind relax so much? How can someone like him even dare to have "standards"? If you're ok with watching people fornicate, then what does it matter how they do it?
I think that's the problem with inappropriate contentography. Sex is supposed to be private, a moment of passion for a married man and woman. But inappropriate content takes that private act and lets everyone see it, to let other people in on the union.
I think sometimes when I would see raunchy stuff, that's what I wanted. I wanted to BE them. I want to be the guy who gets all the women because he used [product]. I want to be the guy who gets to enjoy the benefit of [product for women]. I want to be the people who frolic around naked in that Renaissance art because I like a world with no morals and no rules.
But it's a fraudulent world, and it's not mine.
I don't know if I've ever been "truly addicted" to inappropriate content, considering that I've never really gone that far but just as close as I could. Regardless, what I'm trying to say is that the attitude from these sorts of people has made me realize the sort of person they are, and the sort of person I'd hate to become.
Men were made to be attracted to and love REAL WOMEN, not fake pictures of them. Where did we go wrong?
Ironically, GQ seemed to have another article from another issue explaining how you really should get OFF the inappropriate content. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
I'm better than these people, I realized right then and there. I'm not trying to be boastful or say I have the moral high ground, but I realized that I was less further into the stuff they were. I didn't want to go down their road. Part of me wonders if it's inevitable, but another part of me knows that it never really is too late, even if I die. I'm a sheep, not a goat, and I'd rather eat grass than newspapers, metaphorically speaking.
All of that really motivated me to just quit. It might be a long and difficult road, but please pray for me. I've had my fill of this crap. I don't want to become like them. I'm not one of them, nor will I ever be.
But during this "process", something happened. I was going through one link to another on GQ's official website on my tablet, this time at least. For clarification, GQ is a crappy "men's" magazine that I would never subscribe to and wouldn't be caught dead reading. Heck, most guys wouldn't. It supposedly caters to "metrosexuals"--guys who are fashion-conscious but inexplicably heterosexual. Honestly, I have no idea how GQ finds an audience. Testosterone sure is a powerful hormone.
Anyway, I could care less about fashion or the magazine's stupid liberal politics, but I did know from a few image searches that lots of hot women would sexily pose in it, which I assume is the primary reason anybody buys the publication at all--they want to be horny and sophisticated. I still don't get why this one mother who went on a vacation to Europe (this was from a magazine I actually DO enjoy reading for its ARTICLES) actually admitted to her teenage son reading that magazine. What kind of mother buys her son softcore inappropriate content like that?
Anyway, something caught my eye as I was sifting through the magazine's archives of articles, something from several years ago that I'm sure nobody paid attention to back then. Keep in mind that while I was "searching" for women, there was also this sense in me that knew that I was wasting my time with filth.
Some inappropriate content addict talked about how he felt "guilty" about liking inappropriate content were it seemed as if the women were being "mistreated". They weren't, of course, it was just for the effect, it's sort of a kink or something, I guess. But what appalled me was that it took THAT to make him stop and question himself. I'm sure it wasn't that simple, but it made me realize something.
It's disgusting. I felt ashamed at myself. I wasn't like this guy. I have never watched an X-rated film, and never intend to. As bad as my "inappropriate content addiction" has been, I've never really gone beyond tasteful, raunchy ads and such, thank goodness, and I intend to stop that as soon as I can. Someone else on here has sent me some free software that I intend to use, if it gets that bad. So far I've found that my "rate" of doing this is less than it used to be. But I digress.
I realized how disgusted with this guy I was, and how disgusted I was with myself. I couldn't believe how much his morals had eroded that it took him that long to finally feel the shame he deserved from the inappropriate content, only to be like, "Eh, it was all consensual, it's part of the act! So it's ok for me to be addicted to this stuff! It's ok for me to focus my life on hedonism as I'll be young forever! It's ok for me to do nothing but watch, think about, and have tons of sex! My whole life is going to be about having sex with women, and nothing bad's going to come of it!"
The thing is, if I ever went to a club with these people, to try and embrace this "sex addict" identity, I think I'd be disgusted and leave. What's so great about a paradise if it only lasts for a couple of seconds and you can never escape into normality?
Even though I hadn't really "finished", I felt so ashamed for daring to step back into this world. I was so disgusted with myself. I don't hate myself. I'm just ashamed for having associated with and subconsciously looked up to the steaming piles of filth that live their lives like this.
On one hand, I know that I'd never completely be like "them"--the sex addicts, the inappropriate content addicts, the chronic masturbators, the perverts (people who like seeing attractive nudes, not pedophiles, the word has changed definition in the 21st century--apparently that's still "wrong" but everything else is ok). But I'm tempted by their world because it just seems so happy and crazy and wild and you only feel good feelings.
And yet I'm also disgusted. How could that man take so long to draw the line? How could he let his mind relax so much? How can someone like him even dare to have "standards"? If you're ok with watching people fornicate, then what does it matter how they do it?
I think that's the problem with inappropriate contentography. Sex is supposed to be private, a moment of passion for a married man and woman. But inappropriate content takes that private act and lets everyone see it, to let other people in on the union.
I think sometimes when I would see raunchy stuff, that's what I wanted. I wanted to BE them. I want to be the guy who gets all the women because he used [product]. I want to be the guy who gets to enjoy the benefit of [product for women]. I want to be the people who frolic around naked in that Renaissance art because I like a world with no morals and no rules.
But it's a fraudulent world, and it's not mine.
I don't know if I've ever been "truly addicted" to inappropriate content, considering that I've never really gone that far but just as close as I could. Regardless, what I'm trying to say is that the attitude from these sorts of people has made me realize the sort of person they are, and the sort of person I'd hate to become.
Men were made to be attracted to and love REAL WOMEN, not fake pictures of them. Where did we go wrong?
Ironically, GQ seemed to have another article from another issue explaining how you really should get OFF the inappropriate content. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
I'm better than these people, I realized right then and there. I'm not trying to be boastful or say I have the moral high ground, but I realized that I was less further into the stuff they were. I didn't want to go down their road. Part of me wonders if it's inevitable, but another part of me knows that it never really is too late, even if I die. I'm a sheep, not a goat, and I'd rather eat grass than newspapers, metaphorically speaking.
All of that really motivated me to just quit. It might be a long and difficult road, but please pray for me. I've had my fill of this crap. I don't want to become like them. I'm not one of them, nor will I ever be.
