Feeling pretty depressed. I finished reading Matthew in the Bible today because people have told me I need to read the Bible more. I'm trying to read the whole New Testament. Some passages made me feel really bad. I feel like Jesus has made clear that some people are good and some people are bad, and the bad ones go to hell. Everyone tells me that Jesus died for our sins, but I keep thinking that I'm just too bad.
Some examples are the weeds and the wheat. I feel like a weed. Another example is the lambs and the goats. I feel like a goat. Then there are the smart virgins and the silly virgins. There are also the servants that are given talents. One servant buried his talent and was admonished for it.
Am I reading things incorrectly? How can you know whether you are bad enough or good enough to be saved? I just keep thinking I'm just too bad. I keep thinking of all of my sins. I couldn't count all of my sins if I tried. I feel like Judas Iscariot.
Anyway, today wasn't totally bad. I played some video games and watched basketball on TV. I did enjoy reading the Bible. I just feel bad because I want to be saved but I keep thinking I'm too bad. Some parts of the Bible seem really harsh. It doesn't help that I have a voice in my head that laughs at me all day long. I wish the voices in my head would just go away. I feel like these voices are a punishment from God.
I wanted to go to church today too but I wasn't able to get a ride. I will go back to church next week. I want to be saved and maybe some day I will believe it. Right now I don't believe it, but I hope someday I will believe it and I will feel better.
Some examples are the weeds and the wheat. I feel like a weed. Another example is the lambs and the goats. I feel like a goat. Then there are the smart virgins and the silly virgins. There are also the servants that are given talents. One servant buried his talent and was admonished for it.
Am I reading things incorrectly? How can you know whether you are bad enough or good enough to be saved? I just keep thinking I'm just too bad. I keep thinking of all of my sins. I couldn't count all of my sins if I tried. I feel like Judas Iscariot.
Anyway, today wasn't totally bad. I played some video games and watched basketball on TV. I did enjoy reading the Bible. I just feel bad because I want to be saved but I keep thinking I'm too bad. Some parts of the Bible seem really harsh. It doesn't help that I have a voice in my head that laughs at me all day long. I wish the voices in my head would just go away. I feel like these voices are a punishment from God.
I wanted to go to church today too but I wasn't able to get a ride. I will go back to church next week. I want to be saved and maybe some day I will believe it. Right now I don't believe it, but I hope someday I will believe it and I will feel better.