I really didn’t know where to put this as a thread, so I just put it as a blog. But I am looking for responses.
I’ll try to be brief.
Two weeks ago I made contact with my father through email after 23 years of nothing at all. Long story short, my dad had tried unsuccessfully to find me. See, my mother had taken my brother and I when we were very small and moved out of state. Dad tried to keep contact but my mom’s family wouldn’t let him to speak to us and eventually when we moved again he no longer had a number to call nor an address.
So 23 years passed with nothing.
And now here we are, dad and I talking. At times it feels surreal. And sometimes I think...it’s just too much-the emotional aspect is too much and I can’t handle it. I think that’s the devil trying to get me to give up-stop talking to dad. And that’s my sign that this is God’s doing. I know that it is.
Anyway, last night I found my three aunts on Facebook. My dad’s sisters. I never knew any of them and I actually got to talk to one through messenger. I gave all of them my number. I’d love to know my family.
The thing is though....it feels awkward. Here I am all of a sudden, Alvin’s long lost daughter. No one in dad’s side has ever known me. Now suddenly I’m on his Facebook and sending messages to his sisters like “Hi! I’m Christina, your brother’s daughter and your niece...”
I don’t know how to explain this feeling of being this long lost daughter...I’m a stranger to everyone. I have cousins I never knew about. (One is just a year younger than me and we May have met as babies). We could have grown up together. But didn’t. I didn’t know anyone on my dad’s side. I wasn’t given the chance to. I was taken away. Gone. For 23 years.
Now nobody knows me. I’m a stranger. The long lost daughter.
Is there anyone reading this who has been through something similar?
Part of me just wants to leave my aunts alone. They haven’t known me. And here I am popping up as a grown adult. Surprise! I’m your niece! It’s a wierd, exciting, scary, surreal experience all wrapped in one. I have to fight the devil’s whispers saying “they won’t want to know you. They won’t like you. You’ve been gone so long. Just stay gone.”
I think it would just break my heart if I gave up on knowing my family. I’d always wonder how it might have been. So I’m not giving up.
Anyone been through a similar situation?
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