Letter to a prisonerOccasionally I like to share one of my letters to a prisoner. Over the years I have written quite a few. For the most part, the experience has been good and enriching, and I have learned a lot from the men I have written to. Below is one such letter. I would like to encourage anyone who may want to write a prisoner, to do so. Yes, one has to be careful. Yet some prisoners are sincere for just wanting to write someone, and many have found faith in prison. Most of the men I have written to have been released, yet there is always someone else. They send us letters to see if anyone there can write them. So some of the monks do so. I have only had to stop writing to one prisoner who was obviously trying to scam me. In any case here is the letter. Please pray for Nicholas, and for all prisoners.-Br.MD
Hello Nicholas,
A good letter as usual. You asked if I was too self-conscious, well, yes I suppose I am. Yet, one reason I push ‘trust’ so much is that it helps to lessen self-concern and bring deep inner freedom when the love of God is taken as real.
In the process of seeking to live out the ‘way’ that Jesus calls us to, it allows self-knowledge to arise which can be as you say humbling to say the least. Failure is a part of the journey, pride will take failure and make it so big that it can lead to despair, or giving up. While humility leads to the reality of what ‘mercy’ is all about. In other words, the human condition no longer shocks but can lead to compassion for humanity.
Jesus, our Lord, sees all, and understands each of us to our depths. In ways that we cannot imagine. Yet we are loved. We are protected from too much self-knowledge since it could be a disaster for us to experience total insight into what lies in our unconscious. The greater the Saint, the more they understand the cost of grace, as well as its gift to each of us. So the closer we get to the Lord, brings up a paradox, we also see who and what we are without God’s grace. So it can be a slow process.
We can smother ourselves, or I can, when I focus on myself and not on God’s love. We are called to step out from concern about how we look before God, and to simply trust in the often hidden workings of grace.
In prison, many souls are saved, because it is hard to escape oneself. Yet without faith, the self-love that Jesus calls us to is probably impossible. What passes for self-love is often just a slow path to self-destruction that only God’s grace can save us from.
Self-acceptance is also necessary since it then makes self-knowledge something that is healthy and not an obsession which leads to the reality of one simply going in circles with no way out.
I have found that I am always at the beginning and that my healing comes from often dealing with the same problem over and over again but at a deeper strata each time.
You mentioned Buddhism. I think many insights from that system can be useful for westerners, and Christians can benefit from the study of many of its insights.
The ‘mind’ can be a tough taskmaster, and if we do not learn to deal with many of its more irrational, and even self-destructive aspects, we can be literally driven crazy. When we learn to love ourselves as Jesus commands us, it is then that we can face what is within and trust in God’s desire to heal us.
It is love that heals, Buddha came to that conclusion. Which shows me that the Holy Spirit is at work in all hearts. Buddha was a ‘seeker’ and Jesus taught that for those who seek, they shall find.
Jesus is the revelation of the true nature of God. So he used a word that we can all relate to. He calls God, “Father”, and the best of fathers, the most loving of fathers, who waits for each of us to return.
My struggles as I said above are pretty much the same and it is in them that the Lord reaches me at my depths. I know my need for healing, for mercy, through my failures, and my trust allows me to keep moving forward in trust……which is truly grace at work.
Pray for you every day. Grow in trust, and do not believe negative emotions. It is God’s love that heals, and trust that opens up our hearts to that reality.
Be looking forward to your next letter.
In the love and peace of Christ Jesus
