Was thinking like what's the different between HPD & BPD. ok I was partly thinking of this because "in passing" this person said they were diagnosed with something but they didn't say what, said they didn't believe in labels and like anybody who had been through what they did would come out with something - but meaning have some kind of symptoms or consequences of that ( meaning I guess not like it's really part of ones personality)
I understand that thinking I don't like to label people that way in the sense of acting like that's how someone's always going to be, and they're stuck with something/charitaristic for life. Yet I don't mind statistics and this like that... you just find a pattern and they could be sprits that's why the pattern. So if we see the pattern then there is somewhere to focus working on/dealing with.
Some peoples main issues aren't anothers...
I don't feel so defensive about that, like yea I had this certain way of behaving or dealing with things & or reasoning... but I know I'm not locked into that- with God's help.
HPD & BPD have lot's of drama going on openly behind closed doors or both.
ASPD & NPD may not seem to be about the drama (and like to make it sound like they can't stand it) but somehow they are usually in the middle of some anyway and are probably instigators of a bunch of it.
From what I know (which ever way I knw it) HPD & BPD are similar but HPD doesn't have as unstable an identity (although they are known to change their minds about whatever but not to the BPD degree)
Nor do they have this obsession with/worry over abandoment.
This could be because of their generally positive/hopeful attitude. Like even if they think something is true love, they know there are lots of fish in the sea. They just don't seem to get as gloomy in their thinking. I think they worry about whoever leaving- but not to the degree it would be the end of the world.
On the other hand it's not all better. I don't think those with BPD are so dependant on constant attention (of whatever kind) sadly I hate that descriptiion- attention harlot, but that's how bad it can get. I guess like to the point that they are making fools of themselves and they don't even know or care.
They can have they same extreme behaviors but HPD isn't really into self-harming. I think the self destructiveness comes out through the recklessness with themselves & their own lives.
It seems some with BPD can be low key, much more subtle. The hPD can have subtleness in there bag, but the man thing you notice right away is the "flash", the "star quality", shine,outgoing & talkativeness, theatricalness. Those with ASPD have that too but it's toned down and thought of as charm. I guess NPD have something (since it doesn't eminate from within) it comes from their wearing their success (whatever that may be) or pretending to wear it (like Obama before he actually even did anything- can we say Peace Prize?). BPD I don't know, or I'm not gonna say here
I suppose it depends on various factors- a common denominator of what people consider attractive, their level of warmth, gift of humor & entertainment, style, level of self control, level of self awareness, knowing when to exit the stage- not wear out your welcome, and level of being able to hide your dependencies = entertaining/needy/or whoredom?
I guess a lot of women are going to talk about/not like a woman with HPD either out of jealously or anger (rightly so) 'cause they're "stealing" the guys.
So all my above description I suppose applies in regards to guys weather they view the one w/ HPD like a Marylin M. or a Judy Garland. There's some debate what they really had...but I'm just gving an example for comparison. I suppose its's too hard to figure with entertainers but the real differences would be more evident in everday people's lives.
Then of course theres always the factor of- for the ones looking from a distance or on the outside the grass looks greener and they're thinking Marylin Monroe type (or someone like that but with more fun easy going feeel to them)... but then once on the inside for a length of time... then the needy HPD is made evident....ah but then just when they thought they had figured out & had control of this needy helpless HPD- the HPD up and leaves and they're furious...( then the one with HPD becomes harlot & or B in their minds...but it was all the same person the one with HPD is the fun outgoing positve type person they first were drawn to. But they also have this other side- that others weren't looking for-hey they just wanted a "good time". Maybe a person can take that maybe they can't, but then if the one with HPD leaves the other talks abotu them as if they weren't the same person they wanted in their life so bad).
I'm not making excuses for their lack of fidelity & commitment. That is the main thing, and its not right.
It seems those with BPD have intense realtionships all around. It seems those with HPD don't have that as much in friendships. I guess generally speaking they don't have as many close friendships of the same sex. Then it seems that when they do develop, many seem to be lost or destroyed because the HPD can't control their desire for attention and either get involved with or flirt too much with their friends boyfriends. I a good amount of it isn't that they start chasing after their friends mates but the whole attention thing which can come accross as flirting and then if the guy responds or is interested... I think those with HPD have a hard time saying no. So I think they didn't start out for something like that to happen, but then once it got rolling they couldn't say no and felt powerless (but still responsible) to stop it. lol not very conducive to friendships among women.
So I think its accurate to say that those gals with BPD have had more close freindships than the rest of the cluster B's. Aside from HPD...those with ASPD & NOD don't seem to have much use hence interest in friendships... someone with ASPD might have some friends but stictly for partners in crime just someone to hang out with, get in trouble with, lol someone to put the blame on- but one could never call those "close" because emotions usually aren't involved except possibly compitition & anger.
Speaking of I was thinking I don't think this person has that despite outward results. Those with aspd can be outgoing temporarily friendly, charming, talkitive- but in a dry way. They may (for whatever reason they think is to their advantage) they may tell you warm things, try to express love etc.. but it's always in a dry way.
Of course you can always sense this underlying thinking about "what's in it for them"... but not in a passive,victim needy kind of way but more of a scanning,searching,hunting kind of way. I suppose one with ASPD could play the victim in order to get out of something or to get what they are actively looking for. But I think their real mindset would betray them at some point (like they are actively trying to get what they want, and aren't stitting around waiting for someone to throw them scraps, and passify & baby them).
Like even if they are being "taken care of" (which they like because it frees them up to be chasing after their other interests- they have to be chasing/plotting after something) ah they don't care if others see them that way (unlike aone with NPD would be horrified of that) as long as they don't see themselves that way- they see thenselves as still powerful & active, and of course cunning because they are actively conning/tricking/getting their way and they are freed up to do for what they want (instead of responsiblities) while all the mindless robots do the dirty work...
They don't see themselves that way, they just dont care if others do, or if they tell others that, make others think that's how they see themselves.
So that is a question- do they genuinly painfully see themselves that way, or are they (purposely or non purposely) trying to get others to see them that way- for whatever &/or a pass.
It's not like it'll change my feelings but it think it'll help me understand where they're coming from better.
Except for those with NPD male or female! lol if I spot one I try to go the other direction...ha but somehow they've ended up in my life anyway- and I can't/couldn't do anything about it....
so my guess is a toss up (not enough time knowing them yet) between BPD & HPD possibly bipolar (but I must admit I don't have enough experience seeing that expressed through a female. All I've seen through someone we are friends with is they go through among other things periods of depression and activity often extemremly to the point of psycosis & having to be hospitalised. If this person is raising a family I don't know how they could keep/raise their children and still spend weeks in the hospital etc.) and a long shot ASPD...if someone diagnosed them NPD I'll eat one of my hats...
I understand that thinking I don't like to label people that way in the sense of acting like that's how someone's always going to be, and they're stuck with something/charitaristic for life. Yet I don't mind statistics and this like that... you just find a pattern and they could be sprits that's why the pattern. So if we see the pattern then there is somewhere to focus working on/dealing with.
Some peoples main issues aren't anothers...
I don't feel so defensive about that, like yea I had this certain way of behaving or dealing with things & or reasoning... but I know I'm not locked into that- with God's help.
HPD & BPD have lot's of drama going on openly behind closed doors or both.
ASPD & NPD may not seem to be about the drama (and like to make it sound like they can't stand it) but somehow they are usually in the middle of some anyway and are probably instigators of a bunch of it.
From what I know (which ever way I knw it) HPD & BPD are similar but HPD doesn't have as unstable an identity (although they are known to change their minds about whatever but not to the BPD degree)
Nor do they have this obsession with/worry over abandoment.
This could be because of their generally positive/hopeful attitude. Like even if they think something is true love, they know there are lots of fish in the sea. They just don't seem to get as gloomy in their thinking. I think they worry about whoever leaving- but not to the degree it would be the end of the world.
On the other hand it's not all better. I don't think those with BPD are so dependant on constant attention (of whatever kind) sadly I hate that descriptiion- attention harlot, but that's how bad it can get. I guess like to the point that they are making fools of themselves and they don't even know or care.
They can have they same extreme behaviors but HPD isn't really into self-harming. I think the self destructiveness comes out through the recklessness with themselves & their own lives.
It seems some with BPD can be low key, much more subtle. The hPD can have subtleness in there bag, but the man thing you notice right away is the "flash", the "star quality", shine,outgoing & talkativeness, theatricalness. Those with ASPD have that too but it's toned down and thought of as charm. I guess NPD have something (since it doesn't eminate from within) it comes from their wearing their success (whatever that may be) or pretending to wear it (like Obama before he actually even did anything- can we say Peace Prize?). BPD I don't know, or I'm not gonna say here
I suppose it depends on various factors- a common denominator of what people consider attractive, their level of warmth, gift of humor & entertainment, style, level of self control, level of self awareness, knowing when to exit the stage- not wear out your welcome, and level of being able to hide your dependencies = entertaining/needy/or whoredom?
I guess a lot of women are going to talk about/not like a woman with HPD either out of jealously or anger (rightly so) 'cause they're "stealing" the guys.
So all my above description I suppose applies in regards to guys weather they view the one w/ HPD like a Marylin M. or a Judy Garland. There's some debate what they really had...but I'm just gving an example for comparison. I suppose its's too hard to figure with entertainers but the real differences would be more evident in everday people's lives.
Then of course theres always the factor of- for the ones looking from a distance or on the outside the grass looks greener and they're thinking Marylin Monroe type (or someone like that but with more fun easy going feeel to them)... but then once on the inside for a length of time... then the needy HPD is made evident....ah but then just when they thought they had figured out & had control of this needy helpless HPD- the HPD up and leaves and they're furious...( then the one with HPD becomes harlot & or B in their minds...but it was all the same person the one with HPD is the fun outgoing positve type person they first were drawn to. But they also have this other side- that others weren't looking for-hey they just wanted a "good time". Maybe a person can take that maybe they can't, but then if the one with HPD leaves the other talks abotu them as if they weren't the same person they wanted in their life so bad).
I'm not making excuses for their lack of fidelity & commitment. That is the main thing, and its not right.
It seems those with BPD have intense realtionships all around. It seems those with HPD don't have that as much in friendships. I guess generally speaking they don't have as many close friendships of the same sex. Then it seems that when they do develop, many seem to be lost or destroyed because the HPD can't control their desire for attention and either get involved with or flirt too much with their friends boyfriends. I a good amount of it isn't that they start chasing after their friends mates but the whole attention thing which can come accross as flirting and then if the guy responds or is interested... I think those with HPD have a hard time saying no. So I think they didn't start out for something like that to happen, but then once it got rolling they couldn't say no and felt powerless (but still responsible) to stop it. lol not very conducive to friendships among women.
So I think its accurate to say that those gals with BPD have had more close freindships than the rest of the cluster B's. Aside from HPD...those with ASPD & NOD don't seem to have much use hence interest in friendships... someone with ASPD might have some friends but stictly for partners in crime just someone to hang out with, get in trouble with, lol someone to put the blame on- but one could never call those "close" because emotions usually aren't involved except possibly compitition & anger.
Speaking of I was thinking I don't think this person has that despite outward results. Those with aspd can be outgoing temporarily friendly, charming, talkitive- but in a dry way. They may (for whatever reason they think is to their advantage) they may tell you warm things, try to express love etc.. but it's always in a dry way.
Of course you can always sense this underlying thinking about "what's in it for them"... but not in a passive,victim needy kind of way but more of a scanning,searching,hunting kind of way. I suppose one with ASPD could play the victim in order to get out of something or to get what they are actively looking for. But I think their real mindset would betray them at some point (like they are actively trying to get what they want, and aren't stitting around waiting for someone to throw them scraps, and passify & baby them).
Like even if they are being "taken care of" (which they like because it frees them up to be chasing after their other interests- they have to be chasing/plotting after something) ah they don't care if others see them that way (unlike aone with NPD would be horrified of that) as long as they don't see themselves that way- they see thenselves as still powerful & active, and of course cunning because they are actively conning/tricking/getting their way and they are freed up to do for what they want (instead of responsiblities) while all the mindless robots do the dirty work...
They don't see themselves that way, they just dont care if others do, or if they tell others that, make others think that's how they see themselves.
So that is a question- do they genuinly painfully see themselves that way, or are they (purposely or non purposely) trying to get others to see them that way- for whatever &/or a pass.
It's not like it'll change my feelings but it think it'll help me understand where they're coming from better.
Except for those with NPD male or female! lol if I spot one I try to go the other direction...ha but somehow they've ended up in my life anyway- and I can't/couldn't do anything about it....
so my guess is a toss up (not enough time knowing them yet) between BPD & HPD possibly bipolar (but I must admit I don't have enough experience seeing that expressed through a female. All I've seen through someone we are friends with is they go through among other things periods of depression and activity often extemremly to the point of psycosis & having to be hospitalised. If this person is raising a family I don't know how they could keep/raise their children and still spend weeks in the hospital etc.) and a long shot ASPD...if someone diagnosed them NPD I'll eat one of my hats...