Journal Entry - Deuteronomy 1:26-32

Deut. 1:26-32​

The Israelites rebelled against God's commandment to go into the land and fight because of their fears; they feared other men rather than fearing God. It is easy to say that I wouldn't have rebelled if I were put in the same situation, but when I reflect upon my daily life, I rebel against God's commandments everyday, and the underlying reason is the same: fear of men instead of fear of the Lord. Yet Jesus advises not to fear men, who can kill the body only, but rather to fear him which can destroy both body and soul in hell. Knowing the terror of the Lord, according to the scriptures, why do I not fear God and keep his commandments? Fearing God is the basis of wisdom, and he that is wise wins souls. The preaching of the gospel is founded in both fear and love: fear of the Lord and what he will do to the unsaved soul, and love for the neighbor that doesn't know Jesus. If I, as a Christian, do not preach and teach Jesus, I neither fear God nor love my neighbor. How can I be better motivated daily out of fear of God, and love of neighbor, to open my mouth boldly for the sake of the gospel? Unceasing prayer comes to mind first. Also, something else Jesus said comes to mind: when he rebuked the Jews who persecuted him, he said to them in John chapter 5, "And ye have not his word abiding in you: for whom he hath sent, him ye believe not." Jesus makes the point here that, because they do not have God's Word abiding in them, that they do not believe God and whom he sent. He says in a later chapter that he who is of God hears God's words, but that they aren't of God, because they do not hear God's words. This tells me that knowing scripture and hiding the words of God in your heart is essential to having a healthy and strong faith; I have oft been guilty of not consistently eating of that Bread of Life, and I have been weakened as a result.
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The people made excuses for their sin of disobedience, and were quick to blame God as the reason behind it. They did not humble themselves and submit to God because of their fears, and they did not admit the truth they knew within themselves. I have to ask myself for the sake of honesty: how can I, as a Christian, see my sins for what they are, and not make excuses or blame God for them, but instead daily confess them? I should daily write my sins down on paper so that I can visualize them, and pray through them, confessing and asking forgiveness.
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Their hearts were discouraged because they saw this monumental foe in front of them, and they heard of this great and tall people who the Israelites could never match. When they saw the battle in front of them, they did not see with faith, but saw with sight. They believed what their eyes and ears told them instead of believing the Lord, and this was to their dismay. Oftentimes, in my life, it is easy to give into the temptation to see the commandments of God as great and tall, monumental, and impossible to face. When God presses me in the Spirit to open my mouth about Jesus, instead of immediately obeying in faith, I freeze up and ponder the great and tall task that is ahead of me. Instead of seeing with faith, I see with my eyes, and my heart becomes discouraged just as the hearts of these Israelites were discouraged. I must pray for boldness, of course, but also I must pray for a heart of obedience. Only God can remove a stony heart, and replace it with a fleshy and soft heart. I must pray and reflect daily upon the commands of the Lord, so that I forget them not, and am inclined unto them.
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Moses told the Israelites not to be afraid, instructing them in the proper way. Fear is the basis of most sins, it would seem to me. Fear leads to disobedience, as seen here in this example. I also have found that fear leads to anger, and wrath, hate, and pride. Fear is a profound and great enemy of the Christian, which seeks to encapsulate the man of God in bondage and chains, preventing him from doing the will of God. Fear is, of course, of the devil, who seeks to consume the saved with the world and with distractions, keeping our attention away from the true battle that is present. Most Christians, myself included, live in fear; fear of what the world thinks, fear of what people think. Our fear is not a godly fear, but a worldly fear. It deceives us, seeks to lure us away from our source of strength (Christ), and drives us to give into those things which God tells us to forsake. What steps does a Christian need to take in order to forsake these fears of the world, and lean into a healthy fear of God? One thing I know for sure is, instead of doing what the prophet Jonah did and run away from our problem, we must begin by acknowledging the truth within ourselves, and confess it unto God. We must take it to him in prayer and in faith, hoping and believing in his deliverance. Because we know, as the apostle John says, "Perfect love casteth out fear," and God loves us with a perfect love. Abiding in him, and drawing close to him must be the answer; therefore, prayer, meditation, and sincerity must be laid hold upon.
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The promise that God gave in this verse is the same promise that God gives to us in regards to preaching the gospel. As witnesses of the Lord Jesus, we merely speak of that which we know to be true, but it is God that converts the soul: it is God that stirs up faith in a man through the Holy Spirit. For we know, "faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God." When meditating upon the promises that God gives to us as his people, and as his witnesses, it is difficult to imagine conceptually why fear is so commonplace in our hearts when converting the soul is not our work, but God's. Our only responsibility in the gospel is merely to make known the words already written down, and the truth that has already been established; the changing of the heart of another person is completely up to God, and according to his power. In realizing this, I have to say that fear is foolish. There is no reason to fear, except to use it as an excuse for why I don't desire to be obedient to the commands of God. Therefore, I must continue to pray for an obedient and humble heart, to serve God in the capacity possible and desired of me by him. After all, if I do not preach and teach Christ, I do not fear God, neither do I love my neighbor. And that is on me.
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Even though this verse is a rebuke to the people, it is rather encouraging to me. Though we be a foolish people at times, not heeding the warnings and commandments of God, God still sees us as children. He continues to deal with us as sons and daughters, not because of what we do, but because of what the Lord Jesus has done. I know that the Lord is slow to wrath, and kind, tender-hearted and merciful; nevertheless, God must still punish and discipline his children. It must not be to our hurt that he does this, but to our gain, for "happy is the man whom the LORD correcteth," and, "If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons." Chastening is difficult to endure, but it is a promise of God, just as much as we are promised everlasting life. It is because God desires our hearts to be inclined unto him, because he is jealous over us, and zealous of our obedience. At the end of the day, it is necessary to conclude that God chastens us for our own good, because the end shall be good for us if we are not stiff-necked as the Israelites tended to be. So, how can I be less stiff-necked, and more inclined toward God? How can I avoid foolishness, but rather, follow instruction when being chastened by the Lord? How can I better have a humble heart when being corrected by the Lord? Daily I must seek after the Lord God, and prepare my heart unto his ways.
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The fear these Israelites had of the Anakims caused them to see with sight, instead of faith. Their fear not only caused disobedience, but caused a lack of faith and they did not believe God. Of course, had they believed God, they would have obeyed; but, they rather believed their eyes, and their ears, and they forsook the promises that God made to them, that he would fight for them. I must hold up my hand and say that I am guilty of the same sin. I have daily had opportunity to speak to a friend or co-worker about the Lord Jesus, but instead of seeing with faith, I saw with my eyes, and fear gripped my heart. I did not fear the Lord, but rather feared the possibility of what that person could say or do if I spoke to him about Christ. To me, it was too much of a risk to preach the gospel, instead of believing in the work of God; instead of believing that God would fight my battle for me, and convert his soul, I laid upon my shoulders that responsibility, and saw the task too monumental and too great for me. So I disobeyed God, and ran away, not opening my mouth, not proclaiming the truth. I did not love my neighbor in this action, I did not fear God, neither did I believe him. I was selfish, and sinful. Yet, as I know that the Lord forgives, and is long-suffering, I must press on and incline my heart unto the Spirit of God, so that I can make known the truth for the benefit of others. As Paul the apostle said, "I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some." This is what I must do, for the benefit of others, and the dying of myself. Let the Lord reign in my heart, and let my evil ways be put away! Amen.​