Somedays I'm 100% on where I am in life. Today is not one of those days. I've found the career that makes me complete, the military is the place for me, but I have no real idea as to what I want to do within the military. Everyone has different oppinions as to what I'd be best at, but I can't seem to see myself fitting into a non-combat role. However to get out of my current trade I have to quit and reapply and I'm not sure that I can even sign the paper that would get me out. I'm also trying to figure out bills and that sort of thing; moderatly unsuccessfully and I'm not great with money managing and I know that if I quit, even for just two months(the minimum it'll take to get back in) I might be in major trouble unless I go out west for that time, and my family isn't really supportive of my quitting at all as they don't think I'll go back.
I've been praying really hard on all of this and it's just really hard for me to give things over to Him completely, I always want to keep trying on my own, even when I know I can't do anything. I don't even have anyone I can confide IRL to.
It's times like this that I am also confronted by the fact that I am mush happier when I'm in a relationship, the closeness of that always makes me feel safer, but I do not want to be in a relationship right now, partially just to prove that I don't need one and partially because I want my next relationship to be one that will last forever, I'm tired of dating and all the games associated with it in this era, I just want to be in a solid, stable, forever relationship with a man who will always be there and whom I can always be there for.
Ugh, offtrack again as usual. I'll sign off now.
God All Bless
Cat
I've been praying really hard on all of this and it's just really hard for me to give things over to Him completely, I always want to keep trying on my own, even when I know I can't do anything. I don't even have anyone I can confide IRL to.
It's times like this that I am also confronted by the fact that I am mush happier when I'm in a relationship, the closeness of that always makes me feel safer, but I do not want to be in a relationship right now, partially just to prove that I don't need one and partially because I want my next relationship to be one that will last forever, I'm tired of dating and all the games associated with it in this era, I just want to be in a solid, stable, forever relationship with a man who will always be there and whom I can always be there for.
Ugh, offtrack again as usual. I'll sign off now.
God All Bless
Cat