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If

If I can get alright, is there a chance? I love you very much. I don’t want it to be a just “what might have been”.

I am not delusional, I don’t love my conception of you, I really love YOU.

I am not so foolish to think I know a lot about you, but I do think I know something.

If you love me, and are willing to not try in order to save me from pain, well, get rid of that notion.

I read that “loving someone is doing what is right- even if it hurts you”. It took some time to process it. Because I thought you meant me- that what is right is for me not to impose myself on you and be a drain.

But now I thought this morning, and thought maybe it was you saying you would give me up in order to not hurt me.

Anyway, no such thing is necessary. I am miserable thinking you don’t love me, not when I believe you do love me.

Do you make me happy and love me with a true love? Yes.

You were there, you know how happy I was in 2015, and how ecstatic I was those four days in April.

It was the best four days of my life. I felt alive for the first time.

And, I know I’ve put you through a lot of grief. I am sorry, I would like to start over- I mean just talk normally and see. No strings attached if you decide it is really not going to work.