I know when Im getting better, when mental illness starts turning into laziness... that is a good sign. It does not mean I do not have the disorder conditions; it means part of it has been broken loose and opened up, and broken into pieces like a rock shattering on the ground!
Im working with relationships!
First Im admitting the truth!
Ive had low feelings about myself! no self worth or self esteem. Im a nerd expected to act like like a tough thug! Im caught in this nightmare.
Im an artist! Im an artist that was bullied to much in high school, until I was ruined, then ruined at home!
Now Im attempting to wake up much later in life, to regain myself...
I have allot of baggage to deal with when looking into relationships. My mother tore into me like I was a girl! It was complete incest, much like her father incest with her!
In this case it was passive aggression and none verbal and verbal and physical; and many more things just as deadly, It seems my mother thought I was a girl, and treated my boundaries as such! It was extremely enraging! I did not understand! I understand now, it was about control! Control she did not have over her life! she was a loser her whole life and did nothing about it! Its all really none of my business. I hate calling her any names. she was my mother! She was a sociopath, so I am just trying to find the truth!
I am an honorable person, she was not! But Im so honorable I cannot look at her! YEt I have to if Im going to get to the truth and save myself from the rage I feel of being abandon.
All this baggage is getting in the way of my relationships with other people! Im stuck, lurking to be unstuck!
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I will have to keep working at it!
My mother sold the land that was given to me! I really don't care but I do, but I don't!
I never cared about that side of the family! she was continually trying to destroy everyone through her contempt! she was a contempt machine, all she did her whole life was try to ruin everyone around her.
I never really knew her! I think she was destroyed when she was very young,. she became a sociopath!
Im attempting to work through things so my memories are not infecting me in the present!
She was a very Evil dangerous person; she was unsafe for children to be around; very extremely unsafe! You will gain a life time of long term severe PTSD problems if you associate with this person or anyone like them! They have no regard, remorse or respect for children or human beings or how those humans feel! No regard for there lives.
Im trying the best I can to uncover the truth about what happened. I want to date again and have relationships again, and everything dealing with my mother is in the way! I have much work to do on myself! this is going to hurt!
Im working with relationships!
First Im admitting the truth!
Ive had low feelings about myself! no self worth or self esteem. Im a nerd expected to act like like a tough thug! Im caught in this nightmare.
Im an artist! Im an artist that was bullied to much in high school, until I was ruined, then ruined at home!
Now Im attempting to wake up much later in life, to regain myself...
I have allot of baggage to deal with when looking into relationships. My mother tore into me like I was a girl! It was complete incest, much like her father incest with her!
In this case it was passive aggression and none verbal and verbal and physical; and many more things just as deadly, It seems my mother thought I was a girl, and treated my boundaries as such! It was extremely enraging! I did not understand! I understand now, it was about control! Control she did not have over her life! she was a loser her whole life and did nothing about it! Its all really none of my business. I hate calling her any names. she was my mother! She was a sociopath, so I am just trying to find the truth!
I am an honorable person, she was not! But Im so honorable I cannot look at her! YEt I have to if Im going to get to the truth and save myself from the rage I feel of being abandon.
All this baggage is getting in the way of my relationships with other people! Im stuck, lurking to be unstuck!
---
I will have to keep working at it!
My mother sold the land that was given to me! I really don't care but I do, but I don't!
I never cared about that side of the family! she was continually trying to destroy everyone through her contempt! she was a contempt machine, all she did her whole life was try to ruin everyone around her.
I never really knew her! I think she was destroyed when she was very young,. she became a sociopath!
Im attempting to work through things so my memories are not infecting me in the present!
She was a very Evil dangerous person; she was unsafe for children to be around; very extremely unsafe! You will gain a life time of long term severe PTSD problems if you associate with this person or anyone like them! They have no regard, remorse or respect for children or human beings or how those humans feel! No regard for there lives.
Im trying the best I can to uncover the truth about what happened. I want to date again and have relationships again, and everything dealing with my mother is in the way! I have much work to do on myself! this is going to hurt!
