I may be coming off as extremely random in my posts. It's just I'm going through so much. I love being able to share it with everyone though, and being encouraged by fellow brothers and sisters. It feels really great after everything I've been through. And it is helping me to sort out the mess that is in my mind. I hope I'm inspiring people too. That's my goal, but to be honest, this blog is mostly for myself. Not for my glory, but for God's glory, but it is helping me a lot.
I had a vision earlier. It was a road, and it had a huge puddle of black tar on it. Then I saw myself laying in it, stuck, and I felt how I had been trapped in the messes that other people have made. Lies that has spilled out of them.
And I was reminded of just how important it is to only listen to God, and always seek His voice, and to trust in His voice. He then let me know that He is going to deepen my faith again. When I started this blog, I was in such a bad place. I was so confused and hurt and broken, and my faith had been torn to shreds. But thanks to God, and thanks to everyone that has prayed for me and supported me I am doing so much better. So praise God!
Last year, I begun studying Bible Hebrew and Greek. I have wanted to since I was saved, for many reasons, but mostly because I didn't feel like I could understand the Bible without it, with all the differing translations. I got confused every time I tried to read it, went to the interlinear Bibles to look up the original verses, but without knowledge of the languages it could only get me so far. It mostly confused me further. God speaks to me through His Spirit all the time, and mostly when reading or listening to the Bible, so that is definitely enough, but I am such an inquisitive person, God cannot answer all my questions if I don't fully understand His Word.
I didn't think that God was leading me to it at the time, but I prayed that He would please let me. But the timing was never right. But I just felt more and more how much I wanted to learn, and dive as deep into Scripture as possible. And then I finally got to do it in Fall last year. I took online University classes. I thought at first I was going to focus on Greek mostly, because I already knew a little modern Greek. But I barely even started. I opened my book in Hebrew and I LOVED it. Every second, just learning the alefbet felt amazing, and God started getting really involved. He used it to teach me and deepen my faith, and I was amazed. He opened my eyes on so many things, so fast.
He then let me know just how much He loves my passion for the Word. How He is going to use it to teach me. And for the prayers I have prayed, I'm going to need it. I want to have the understanding of the Old Testament that Jesus had, and that the Apostles and disciples had at the time, so I can understand where they were coming from. And then I want to move on to understanding the New Testament, so I can understand it the way they understood it. I believe that God will get me to that place.
I was doing well, and I didn't get very far, because I am working full time. But I enjoyed it so much, and I even spoke Hebrew to God in prayer, because the words had the same exact meaning that I wanted to use. It felt like relief in my soul, like it made sense to me. My mind is like that.
When things fell apart back in January, I stopped studying. And I completely forgot all about it, and a lot of other things. God is now calling me back to it. But I'm gonna do it in my own pace, with God, and not according to some schedule that I couldn't keep up with anyway.
But here is another issue, I'm a woman, and a Swede, and I used to worship every false god, I've sinned every sin I can think of, and I tremble in such fear when I read the Old Testament, even in English or Swedish. Then I get so full of praise when I look at any verse in Hebrew I can barely contain myself. It gets hard to move closer to God. And I just feel like "why in the world would God let me study this???" It's probably the way it should be, but if I focus on Jesus I remember that there is no Jew or Gentile any longer, and I am forgiven. It is so beautiful. And He encourages me. Last week He told me to read Ruth, and that encouraged me even more. I want to cry right now, just writing this.
God is now going to deepen my faith again, and He is going to make me the woman of God that He wants me to become. And what that means, well, He said to me earlier this evening that He was willing to give me His very best, if I accept it. I want and need that deep foundation. We have to have a good understanding of the Word, especially today, or we're lost.
I'm such a mess though. I'm only almost three years old in Christ. I'm still a baby. I've come really far in a short time, and that just shows how wonderful and powerful, and involved, God is. He is such an amazing Father, so full of love, and He really does what He has promised in His Word. But I'm still struggling with so much, so much sin and so much pain, so much insecurity and doubt.
I need to really put my heart into this, and God will definitely make sure I do. He can nag me about it if He needs to, but I don't think He will. His greatness is inspiring enough.
One step at a time. God's will be done!
I had a vision earlier. It was a road, and it had a huge puddle of black tar on it. Then I saw myself laying in it, stuck, and I felt how I had been trapped in the messes that other people have made. Lies that has spilled out of them.
And I was reminded of just how important it is to only listen to God, and always seek His voice, and to trust in His voice. He then let me know that He is going to deepen my faith again. When I started this blog, I was in such a bad place. I was so confused and hurt and broken, and my faith had been torn to shreds. But thanks to God, and thanks to everyone that has prayed for me and supported me I am doing so much better. So praise God!
Last year, I begun studying Bible Hebrew and Greek. I have wanted to since I was saved, for many reasons, but mostly because I didn't feel like I could understand the Bible without it, with all the differing translations. I got confused every time I tried to read it, went to the interlinear Bibles to look up the original verses, but without knowledge of the languages it could only get me so far. It mostly confused me further. God speaks to me through His Spirit all the time, and mostly when reading or listening to the Bible, so that is definitely enough, but I am such an inquisitive person, God cannot answer all my questions if I don't fully understand His Word.
I didn't think that God was leading me to it at the time, but I prayed that He would please let me. But the timing was never right. But I just felt more and more how much I wanted to learn, and dive as deep into Scripture as possible. And then I finally got to do it in Fall last year. I took online University classes. I thought at first I was going to focus on Greek mostly, because I already knew a little modern Greek. But I barely even started. I opened my book in Hebrew and I LOVED it. Every second, just learning the alefbet felt amazing, and God started getting really involved. He used it to teach me and deepen my faith, and I was amazed. He opened my eyes on so many things, so fast.
He then let me know just how much He loves my passion for the Word. How He is going to use it to teach me. And for the prayers I have prayed, I'm going to need it. I want to have the understanding of the Old Testament that Jesus had, and that the Apostles and disciples had at the time, so I can understand where they were coming from. And then I want to move on to understanding the New Testament, so I can understand it the way they understood it. I believe that God will get me to that place.
I was doing well, and I didn't get very far, because I am working full time. But I enjoyed it so much, and I even spoke Hebrew to God in prayer, because the words had the same exact meaning that I wanted to use. It felt like relief in my soul, like it made sense to me. My mind is like that.
When things fell apart back in January, I stopped studying. And I completely forgot all about it, and a lot of other things. God is now calling me back to it. But I'm gonna do it in my own pace, with God, and not according to some schedule that I couldn't keep up with anyway.
But here is another issue, I'm a woman, and a Swede, and I used to worship every false god, I've sinned every sin I can think of, and I tremble in such fear when I read the Old Testament, even in English or Swedish. Then I get so full of praise when I look at any verse in Hebrew I can barely contain myself. It gets hard to move closer to God. And I just feel like "why in the world would God let me study this???" It's probably the way it should be, but if I focus on Jesus I remember that there is no Jew or Gentile any longer, and I am forgiven. It is so beautiful. And He encourages me. Last week He told me to read Ruth, and that encouraged me even more. I want to cry right now, just writing this.
God is now going to deepen my faith again, and He is going to make me the woman of God that He wants me to become. And what that means, well, He said to me earlier this evening that He was willing to give me His very best, if I accept it. I want and need that deep foundation. We have to have a good understanding of the Word, especially today, or we're lost.
I'm such a mess though. I'm only almost three years old in Christ. I'm still a baby. I've come really far in a short time, and that just shows how wonderful and powerful, and involved, God is. He is such an amazing Father, so full of love, and He really does what He has promised in His Word. But I'm still struggling with so much, so much sin and so much pain, so much insecurity and doubt.
I need to really put my heart into this, and God will definitely make sure I do. He can nag me about it if He needs to, but I don't think He will. His greatness is inspiring enough.
One step at a time. God's will be done!
