I have had a few very interesting days, where God has made a lot of things better for me in many ways. He has been healing a lot of old wounds and fixing what was broken in me. I have felt how He is building me up again, breathing new life into me, and no matter how much I may doubt or feel condemned, and no matter how much the enemy or other people are trying to bring me down, that doesn't stop God from moving. Not even a little. He has plans, and nothing can stop them. 
I am feeling really hopeful, knowing that God is with me, no matter how tough life may get.
My mother and sister lives at my place still, but my mother has found a part time job in the city where they lived before, and they live at a friend's place in the countryside outside that city. Before we went to Spain, I stayed with them at his place for a night, and there are a few stray cats that keeps coming to the house, begging for food. They are mostly friendly and clean cats, but they told me about one of them that was always acting strange and that seemed really sick. It was always drooling, didn't clean it's fur, and didn't eat properly but always begged for food, it was always alone but begging for affection. They told me that they were going to have it put down, because it seemed so sick. When it showed up, it was sitting there just staring at me, all broken and messed up. Dirty fur, drool hanging from it's mouth, and eyes that looked sad and empty, it looked half dead... It was staring at me, wanting my attention, but afraid of approaching me, as if it was so used to being rejected, and I just felt such compassion for it. My mom, sis and their friend all seemed to not want it around, because it was dirty and I think they were afraid that it would give them parasites. They fed it, but they wouldn't touch it or play with it like they did with the other cats. I felt God moving my heart, because that cat just reminded me of myself before I was saved. I wasn't homeless, but I couldn't function properly in society almost at all, had no friends, was sick and broken, always lonely and rejected, always wanting some kind of affection but having no one and used to being shut out if asking anyone for help, just becoming worse and worse to the point of suicide.
So I prayed for the cat. I prayed with my whole heart that God would heal it, I even cried a little, because it touched my heart so deeply. I felt how much Jesus loves the broken as I looked at that little messed up cat. I prayed and said "Be healed in Jesus' name!" and then I didn't see it again.
Then yesterday, my mom and sis came back to stay with me for a few days, and the first thing that my mom did was to tell me that the cat was healed. It was like she couldn't wait to tell me, because they were all so surprised about it, thinking a miracle must have happened, even though they don't believe. It has stopped drooling, it is eating properly and the fur is soft and shiny. She asked me if I had done anything, and I told her that I had prayed for it and gave all glory to Jesus, knowing that it was Him.
Praise God! My heart can't believe that He did that, but He did, and it's amazing. That cat doesn't have to worry about anything, because God is looking out for it, and He is looking out for me as well. God loves the lonely and broken. So much worry that had been weighing on me just disappeared from me when my mom told me yesterday, and I just felt God's presence in my life and in this world in a way that I lost last year. Praise Him!
I have been so broken my whole life, always suffering, always being rejected, dead inside in every way and never loved, but I've got my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ today, and He is just awesome! When He moves I am overwhelmed with love every day. 
I am feeling really hopeful, knowing that God is with me, no matter how tough life may get. My mother and sister lives at my place still, but my mother has found a part time job in the city where they lived before, and they live at a friend's place in the countryside outside that city. Before we went to Spain, I stayed with them at his place for a night, and there are a few stray cats that keeps coming to the house, begging for food. They are mostly friendly and clean cats, but they told me about one of them that was always acting strange and that seemed really sick. It was always drooling, didn't clean it's fur, and didn't eat properly but always begged for food, it was always alone but begging for affection. They told me that they were going to have it put down, because it seemed so sick. When it showed up, it was sitting there just staring at me, all broken and messed up. Dirty fur, drool hanging from it's mouth, and eyes that looked sad and empty, it looked half dead... It was staring at me, wanting my attention, but afraid of approaching me, as if it was so used to being rejected, and I just felt such compassion for it. My mom, sis and their friend all seemed to not want it around, because it was dirty and I think they were afraid that it would give them parasites. They fed it, but they wouldn't touch it or play with it like they did with the other cats. I felt God moving my heart, because that cat just reminded me of myself before I was saved. I wasn't homeless, but I couldn't function properly in society almost at all, had no friends, was sick and broken, always lonely and rejected, always wanting some kind of affection but having no one and used to being shut out if asking anyone for help, just becoming worse and worse to the point of suicide.
So I prayed for the cat. I prayed with my whole heart that God would heal it, I even cried a little, because it touched my heart so deeply. I felt how much Jesus loves the broken as I looked at that little messed up cat. I prayed and said "Be healed in Jesus' name!" and then I didn't see it again.
Then yesterday, my mom and sis came back to stay with me for a few days, and the first thing that my mom did was to tell me that the cat was healed. It was like she couldn't wait to tell me, because they were all so surprised about it, thinking a miracle must have happened, even though they don't believe. It has stopped drooling, it is eating properly and the fur is soft and shiny. She asked me if I had done anything, and I told her that I had prayed for it and gave all glory to Jesus, knowing that it was Him.
Praise God! My heart can't believe that He did that, but He did, and it's amazing.
That cat doesn't have to worry about anything, because God is looking out for it, and He is looking out for me as well. God loves the lonely and broken. So much worry that had been weighing on me just disappeared from me when my mom told me yesterday, and I just felt God's presence in my life and in this world in a way that I lost last year. Praise Him! I have been so broken my whole life, always suffering, always being rejected, dead inside in every way and never loved, but I've got my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ today, and He is just awesome! When He moves I am overwhelmed with love every day.
