As the years go by I am getting more and more obsessive. Fussy. Others' behaviour can easily trigger annoyance. My annoyance is self-righteous and arrogant. "Why cant they be compassionate, sensitive and big picture minded like me?" 
Why cant they see reality like me? Its obvious to me. Why isn't it obvious to them?
It is comical when I think about it like this now. I have become the stereotypical GOM. I have become my avatar! Interesting isn't it. That if we have a picture of a person for our avatar, it can influence our behaviour. Magically control it. Still, I did have the natural ingredients for grumpiness, constant dissatisfaction. Idealists are most likely to become the worst geriatrics of all! Idealistic pessimists expect life to turn out perfect, and when it doesn't it smugly says "there I told you so."
I sometimes try to analyse why I don't get along with some people. Maybe that's the problem. I shouldn't analyse. The adult wants to analyse, the child prefers spontaneity. As I've said before, the child in us needs a bigger say, if we want to live a creative life. But yeah I'll ruminate over "that ***** " from a previous workplace. Why did I let her speak to me like that? I really needed to be more assertive.
For those of us who embraced new age and eastern mysticism, the word "assertive" figures prominently. It is like a cure all. A panacea. "Just be more assertive". As if that will fix all our relationship blues.
But now having revisited Christianity, I see that there is more to life than assertiveness. Worrying about assertiveness can be rather petty in the scheme of things. Better to have our mind on the big picture, on the Gospel message. I think when we act petty, we find others petty. When we look past others' faults, we begin to grow up finally.
Why cant they see reality like me? Its obvious to me. Why isn't it obvious to them?
It is comical when I think about it like this now. I have become the stereotypical GOM. I have become my avatar! Interesting isn't it. That if we have a picture of a person for our avatar, it can influence our behaviour. Magically control it. Still, I did have the natural ingredients for grumpiness, constant dissatisfaction. Idealists are most likely to become the worst geriatrics of all! Idealistic pessimists expect life to turn out perfect, and when it doesn't it smugly says "there I told you so."
I sometimes try to analyse why I don't get along with some people. Maybe that's the problem. I shouldn't analyse. The adult wants to analyse, the child prefers spontaneity. As I've said before, the child in us needs a bigger say, if we want to live a creative life. But yeah I'll ruminate over "that ***** " from a previous workplace. Why did I let her speak to me like that? I really needed to be more assertive.
For those of us who embraced new age and eastern mysticism, the word "assertive" figures prominently. It is like a cure all. A panacea. "Just be more assertive". As if that will fix all our relationship blues.
But now having revisited Christianity, I see that there is more to life than assertiveness. Worrying about assertiveness can be rather petty in the scheme of things. Better to have our mind on the big picture, on the Gospel message. I think when we act petty, we find others petty. When we look past others' faults, we begin to grow up finally.
