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Frustrations

  1. Today hasn't been very good. I get so frustrated I feel like cursing and crying. Blaspheming God, and I know it is not that important. I've had a big faith block recently, like I don't really want to do my bible readings and I have doubted a lot and having blasphemous and unholy thoughts that are not okay but it feels like I have unbelief.

    I started watching a K-drama, Weightlifting Fairy Kim Book Joo. I think I've seen clips on Facebook and hope this is the one, it seems like a funny and enjoyable show. Want to keep watching the Office and K: Knight. K has this one character (I think) though that's like a cat-person? And a little more uncomfortable than Black Butler's dog person, Pluto.... The main guy though is voiced by Italy from hetalia! How can sweet, naive Italy be in a gang battle?? (He looks like Kuroku though, in art design.)

    The youth party is happening, it's a swim party and right now I can't swim and I feel negative about that. I am probably being boring but I can't really hear everyone and I can't swim so I can't talk much or play games with everyone else. I feel like I have failed all around today, still haven't done a word of today's bible reading (sorry guys I'm feeling overwhelmed by it now). Bubbles that may be bites or poison ivy on my ankle. :| I wonder if that one is still on my eye, I haven't looked. :sigh: Depressed and feeling like my faith is failing like I give in to sin nature reactions and feelings too easily still. Kind of want to visit my friend's church or maybe just an LCMS church in the area but also nervous. For one, I'm not 100% sure if Baptist or Lutheran churches are better for me to be in, and I have never really been to a high church. I'm worried I wouldn't be accepted by the people at a new church or would be overwhelmed or feel out of place at their service. -Please nobody be offended-

    About Author

    DeerGlow
    18-year-old baptist from Texas. I grew up in the church but strayed from the faith when I was around sixteen. I have a fear of committing apostasy, the unpardonable sin, and not being saved. I have undiagnosed mental issues, but live with them. I like to learn languages and have recently gotten into drawing and painting again. I am in a CF study group that is going through a whole-bible-in-a-year plan, which helps motivate me to read the Bible even on days I do not feel like it.

Comments

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  1. JesusLovesOurLady
    Just do it DeerGlow, read your Bible! Drag yourself kicking and screaming through it! Mortify your flesh!
    1. View previous replies...
    2. JesusLovesOurLady
      Try saying a quick prayer, and asking God to pull you in, when start reading.
      DeerGlow likes this.
    3. DeerGlow
      Thanks for the advice.
      JesusLovesOurLady likes this.
  2. Spirit Reborn
    praying for you sis ♥ it's definitely not easy-our walk with Christ. It's a constant spiritual battle. Some days I'm just so frustrated with the spiritual attacks and oppression from the enemy that I just weep.. it's so frustrating and hard sometimes.. for me, what keeps me reading the Bible on a daily basis, is that I have found that reading His Word actually helps to keep these oppressive attacks at bay [at least for a short while]. I read throughout the day and listen to Christian music throughout the day. Just having the music playing in the background really helps me. It's like the demons hate it and for the most part, I'm free from that oppression and the intrusive thoughts that I know are not my own-they're so intrusive that they 'pop into my mind' seemingly out of the blue and I absolutely hate thinking such thoughts. I end up saying outloud: I rebuke and bind these negative thoughts in the Name of Jesus Christ. I am a blood-bought redeemed child of the most high God, In Jesus' Name. I also always pray outloud for God to bind and rebuke these evil spirits/demons that are around me/bothering me and are in the house. It's seriously frustrating..to have to deal with these types of things every single day. Then again, Jesus did mention that in this world we would have trouble. The comforting thing is that He has overcome the world. So that tells me that I'm not the only one who's going through these types of things and that through His grace, mercy, and strength, He'll help me each day that He blesses me with in this imperfect world.
    1. DeerGlow
      My echo dot can tune in to 88.3FM, I need to use it more.... My beats are a little warped though so I gotta fix those if I can.... seperate things but you know. I rarely use the dot but it can do that.... And I have a daily bible thing but sometimes it feels so hard, and overwhelming. But I have had a lot less nightmares since I reading almost daily I think. Especially right before I sleep, it has helped in the past.
      Spirit Reborn likes this.
    2. Spirit Reborn
      yeah same! Nightmares now are rare especially when I read my Bible before sleeping as well. It truly does help : )
    3. DeerGlow
      I have been having some weird and some bad ones recently, but overall not as bad as it has been.
      Spirit Reborn likes this.