Today hasn't been very good. I get so frustrated I feel like cursing and crying. Blaspheming God, and I know it is not that important. I've had a big faith block recently, like I don't really want to do my bible readings and I have doubted a lot and having blasphemous and unholy thoughts that are not okay but it feels like I have unbelief.
I started watching a K-drama, Weightlifting Fairy Kim Book Joo. I think I've seen clips on Facebook and hope this is the one, it seems like a funny and enjoyable show. Want to keep watching the Office and K: Knight. K has this one character (I think) though that's like a cat-person? And a little more uncomfortable than Black Butler's dog person, Pluto.... The main guy though is voiced by Italy from hetalia! How can sweet, naive Italy be in a gang battle?? (He looks like Kuroku though, in art design.)
The youth party is happening, it's a swim party and right now I can't swim and I feel negative about that. I am probably being boring but I can't really hear everyone and I can't swim so I can't talk much or play games with everyone else. I feel like I have failed all around today, still haven't done a word of today's bible reading (sorry guys I'm feeling overwhelmed by it now). Bubbles that may be bites or poison ivy on my ankle. I wonder if that one is still on my eye, I haven't looked. Depressed and feeling like my faith is failing like I give in to sin nature reactions and feelings too easily still. Kind of want to visit my friend's church or maybe just an LCMS church in the area but also nervous. For one, I'm not 100% sure if Baptist or Lutheran churches are better for me to be in, and I have never really been to a high church. I'm worried I wouldn't be accepted by the people at a new church or would be overwhelmed or feel out of place at their service. -Please nobody be offended-
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