Okay... so my name is Megan and I am from Indiana... I have never written a blog before so i don't really have any idea what it is that I am doing... but i am just going to write is what it is that i am feeling and thinking...
there is a song by superchic[k] that i really like... it is called "courage"... the lyrics are...
i long so much to be free from this... and i know that one day everything will be okay... i just wish that that day would come sooner rather than latter...
well.. i guess that that is enough of my ramblings for now... probably will write more latter...
there is a song by superchic[k] that i really like... it is called "courage"... the lyrics are...
I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment, for a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I've changed my life forever
I know I should know better
There are days when I'm OK
And for a moment, for a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not OK
And I need your help
So I'm letting go
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
You should know you're not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don't know when but I know now
Together we'll make it through somehow
(together we'll make it through somehow)
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
i have been the person singing this song so many different times in my life... and even now I struggle with it... things really aren't okay even though i try and make it okay... i want it to be so badly but it just isn't... and i have tryed praying... i am now in therapy... for my suicide attempt... and it is really hard... i don't know what i should do anymore... there are so many times durring the day where my desires are to sit down and cut... i find it so much easier for me to sit down and cut than it is to feel my emotions... at least physical pain i can control... my emotions are just going crazy... like i never knew that i could cry so much... but i fight as hard as i can to just be able to get through a day where i do not just sit here all day holding on to a knife, blade, or machette... And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment, for a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I've changed my life forever
I know I should know better
There are days when I'm OK
And for a moment, for a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not OK
And I need your help
So I'm letting go
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
You should know you're not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don't know when but I know now
Together we'll make it through somehow
(together we'll make it through somehow)
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
i long so much to be free from this... and i know that one day everything will be okay... i just wish that that day would come sooner rather than latter...
well.. i guess that that is enough of my ramblings for now... probably will write more latter...