Drifting

I think it is easy to drift in our Christian walk. God keeps pursuing, but the more we turn Him away the harder our hearts get. Eventually you end up in a pretty miserable situation. I think this is why some Christians isolate themselves, because they are turning away the Holy Spirit and they don't wear to hear from the Spirit speaking through their brothers and sisters either.

I know for me, when I am in this situation, of being stubborn towards God yet not really wanting to be, I am utterly miserable. I feel like Paul in Romans 7, not having the strength to make it to Romans 8 where the Spirit puts to death the deeds of the body. I feel confused and completely turned upside down. My joy, my life, has been leaving me and is being replaced by a noiseless gasp.

I feel broken and lifeless, and I admit to the Lord, that I am not worthy to be His servant. And suddenly, just like that, there is life again..until the next compromise. It seems like a neverending cycle, of defeat and agony beating down the door. I know I am a Christian but I don't quite know how to get out of this. My flesh is ornery and warring against the Spirit full time, fully sick of being sublimated and unsatisfied.

Someone told me today that the important thing is to enter into Gods rest. Jesus said to come to Him all of us who are weary and heavy laden, and He will give us rest. Do you get a thrill thinking about how true that really is, that we can actually come to Him and lay our burdens down? He is our Chief Shepherd after all, He knows how to lead us.

Amos 7:7-8

Thus he shewed me: and, behold, the Lord stood upon a wall made by a plumbline, with a plumbline in his hand.

And the Lord said unto me, Amos, what seest thou? And I said, A plumbline. Then said the Lord, Behold, I will set a plumbline in the midst of my people Israel: I will not again pass by them any more

He is the plumbline, now God will never pass by us again when we cry out to Him in the name of Jesus. We are permanently connected to the Father through the Son and adopted into His Kingdom forever. Now we have everything that we need, because in Christ He gave us everything that pertains to life and godliness. All of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hid in Christ and the Father.

It's not a question of whether I can do this, because through Christ I can. It is a question of whether I will repent and obey. I need to trust Him with all of my heart.

Lord, please make it clear to me where I need to repent and obey. Please help me to fully trust you and submit my entire life to you, once and for all.

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