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Dreading The Monkeys

By DeerGlow, Jun 19, 2017 | |
  1. The place I'm going before Seville (can't spell, sounds like J/G-i/a-b-r-a-l-t-a/e-r) is going to have monkeys that will steal food and drink if they see it. I don't care about this, but monkeys are nasty animals. They throw feces at each other and at humans. I don't want them to crawl on me and get me dirty.

    Today has been very hot in Granada, and I am uneasy. I have had blasphemous thoughts about the mark of the beast and God and my cursing has flared up again and I remember the willful sin passage (Hebrews 10:26). I see some people on CF I want to comfort and help but I am afraid of giving them false teachings. I can not be sure of my own salvation and the truth of my personal beliefs.

    Additionally, the muslim/hindu shops have been stirring my bad thoughts, and I was in one store I was looking at playing cards and thought there was a deck of just fantasy creatures (unicorns, elves, etc.) and just as I was about to pick it up I saw the word 'tarot' written in all capital letters on it. I am reminded of my temptations and sins related to tarot and things like witchcraft and feel like I'll never be totally free from the weight and condemnation of those sins.

    About Author

    DeerGlow
    18-year-old baptist from Texas. I grew up in the church but strayed from the faith when I was around sixteen. I have a fear of committing apostasy, the unpardonable sin, and not being saved. I have undiagnosed mental issues, but live with them. I like to learn languages and have recently gotten into drawing and painting again. I am in a CF study group that is going through a whole-bible-in-a-year plan, which helps motivate me to read the Bible even on days I do not feel like it.

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