Well yes of course I do. I still think about my childhood and the bullies seem worse now than they were then.
Sometimes I think habits are the culprit. Habits and patterns. We create patterns of behaviour in our life that can dictate results. Just like karma in Buddhism. Reap what we sow in Christianity.
But I blame myself more than others, if the truth be known. I had opportunities to turn to God and let him run the show. But I rebelled and am probably still rebelling right now. I thought I was clever enough, smart enough to make good choices by myself. But most of my decisions have been based on narcissism, pleasure, cynicism, short-term gain. I embraced secular gods and now I'm paying for it.
Lack of true humility was and still is the problem. We can fool ourselves that we are being humble but often that is not the case. We are either being half-hearted or trying to "appear humble" to others or thinking that our low self-esteem is the same as humility. It's not.
Sometimes I think habits are the culprit. Habits and patterns. We create patterns of behaviour in our life that can dictate results. Just like karma in Buddhism. Reap what we sow in Christianity.
But I blame myself more than others, if the truth be known. I had opportunities to turn to God and let him run the show. But I rebelled and am probably still rebelling right now. I thought I was clever enough, smart enough to make good choices by myself. But most of my decisions have been based on narcissism, pleasure, cynicism, short-term gain. I embraced secular gods and now I'm paying for it.
Lack of true humility was and still is the problem. We can fool ourselves that we are being humble but often that is not the case. We are either being half-hearted or trying to "appear humble" to others or thinking that our low self-esteem is the same as humility. It's not.
