Cough it up and out
One day a woman asked me why she needed to forgive her parents, who were very 'cruel' parents. In responding, I decided to use a very graphic image. "To forgive is like spitting up a hairball I told her. 'There is some healing in doing that. Over time, as you have to forgive over and over, the hairball gets smaller, and your pain becomes less. Your parents no longer have a hold on you".
Then we talked about praying for her parents. Why (?), she asked again. So I responded. "Well, you can't really hate someone you pray for, though again, the healing of emotions and deep wounds takes time. It will also help in you not becoming like your parents".--Br.MD