But not at the same time.
So it wasn’t actually a priest…but he kept calling himself one. He was a friend of my roommate, staying with us a few days.He graduated from seminary about five years ago, but never went through the ordination. He WAS drunk though. It was an …interesting conversation. Most of it was where he was insisting Noah had always been a drunk. I insisted there was no evidence of that, only that he got drunk AFTER the flood…and who could blame the poor guy? I mean…talk about a traumatic event. The “drunk priest” kept saying, “Read it, read it.” And I was all, “I did. Last night. It doesn’t reference him being drunk till AFTER the flood.”
He finally had me fetch my bible, and set about trying to prove me wrong. He couldn’t, and in the end had to admit I was correct.
We also briefly touched on Ezekiel which I knew nothing about, he insisted a space ship was involved but I am doubtful. He also got very agitated at one point, getting upset that he had to go through Jesus to talk to God. He wasn’t making a whole lot of sense on anything though, and I couldn’t dig deeper cause…ever try having a sensible conversation with a drunk?
Good times…
In other news, things have been….interesting. Far more interesting than I expected. I have been having all sorts of spiritual adventures and discoveries. Some parts of my life I was able to immediately adjust with very little problem. Others…I struggle with. Self discipline has never been a strong point of mine, so I still struggle with certain sins. Two in particular. I struggle with doubts, questions, etc. A partial verse frequently in my mind is that one from the dad with his daughter in the gospel (not sure which one)…”I believe, help thou my unbelief.” I know its out of context, but I frequently pray it anyway. I struggle with whether I will stay firm in the faith, or if this is just a “phase”. I sit there with an eye-rolling worthy mental picture of me as a confused child clinging to Christ’s robe for fear of drifting away if I let go. And when praying, I feel very…awkward. Like I was doing it all wrong and didn’t even know enough about what was going on to fix it.
And then I read some stuff today. Based on the recommendation of a christian I met online, I bought a collection of books by Andrew Murray. Last night I finished my John Calvin book, so today I started with one by Andrew Murray, “Lord Teach Us to Pray”. I am taking my sweet time going through it. It is, for one thing, beautifully written. It’s like reading someone else’s prayer who prays MUCH better than me. I confess to being a bit jealous of him. And there were a lot of good points I noted, but one in particular struck me.
“Amid the painful consciousness of ignorance and unworthiness, in the struggle between believing and doubting, the heavenly art of effectual prayer is learnt.”
And my first reaction was…relief.
Whew! Someone else feels that way! Its not just me!
And then hope. Because not only is what I am feeling normal, but it’s essential for learning. A cause for a quiet little inner celebration while I took the next phone call.
I had gotten up late this morning and neglected my reading and prayer time, and one thing I always try to read is a morning and evening installment of Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening. So I read the morning one later in the afternoon at work.
Just blew me away. EXACTLY what I needed. Long quote incoming:
“It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus, but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, “Your sins are too great for pardon, you have to faith, you do not repent enough, you will never be able to continue to the end…” “It is not THY HOLD of Christ that saves thee — it is Christ; it is not THY JOY in Christ that saves thee — it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument — it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ…”
So that mental image I had was wrong. I’m not clinging to Christ….he has me safely in his lap with his arms around me so I don’t fall.
And finally a note — finding a church is hard work. And I am just in the research stages.
So it wasn’t actually a priest…but he kept calling himself one. He was a friend of my roommate, staying with us a few days.He graduated from seminary about five years ago, but never went through the ordination. He WAS drunk though. It was an …interesting conversation. Most of it was where he was insisting Noah had always been a drunk. I insisted there was no evidence of that, only that he got drunk AFTER the flood…and who could blame the poor guy? I mean…talk about a traumatic event. The “drunk priest” kept saying, “Read it, read it.” And I was all, “I did. Last night. It doesn’t reference him being drunk till AFTER the flood.”
He finally had me fetch my bible, and set about trying to prove me wrong. He couldn’t, and in the end had to admit I was correct.
We also briefly touched on Ezekiel which I knew nothing about, he insisted a space ship was involved but I am doubtful. He also got very agitated at one point, getting upset that he had to go through Jesus to talk to God. He wasn’t making a whole lot of sense on anything though, and I couldn’t dig deeper cause…ever try having a sensible conversation with a drunk?Good times…
In other news, things have been….interesting. Far more interesting than I expected. I have been having all sorts of spiritual adventures and discoveries. Some parts of my life I was able to immediately adjust with very little problem. Others…I struggle with. Self discipline has never been a strong point of mine, so I still struggle with certain sins. Two in particular. I struggle with doubts, questions, etc. A partial verse frequently in my mind is that one from the dad with his daughter in the gospel (not sure which one)…”I believe, help thou my unbelief.” I know its out of context, but I frequently pray it anyway. I struggle with whether I will stay firm in the faith, or if this is just a “phase”. I sit there with an eye-rolling worthy mental picture of me as a confused child clinging to Christ’s robe for fear of drifting away if I let go. And when praying, I feel very…awkward. Like I was doing it all wrong and didn’t even know enough about what was going on to fix it.
And then I read some stuff today. Based on the recommendation of a christian I met online, I bought a collection of books by Andrew Murray. Last night I finished my John Calvin book, so today I started with one by Andrew Murray, “Lord Teach Us to Pray”. I am taking my sweet time going through it. It is, for one thing, beautifully written. It’s like reading someone else’s prayer who prays MUCH better than me. I confess to being a bit jealous of him. And there were a lot of good points I noted, but one in particular struck me.
“Amid the painful consciousness of ignorance and unworthiness, in the struggle between believing and doubting, the heavenly art of effectual prayer is learnt.”
And my first reaction was…relief.
Whew! Someone else feels that way! Its not just me!
And then hope. Because not only is what I am feeling normal, but it’s essential for learning. A cause for a quiet little inner celebration while I took the next phone call.
I had gotten up late this morning and neglected my reading and prayer time, and one thing I always try to read is a morning and evening installment of Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening. So I read the morning one later in the afternoon at work.
Just blew me away. EXACTLY what I needed. Long quote incoming:
“It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus, but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, “Your sins are too great for pardon, you have to faith, you do not repent enough, you will never be able to continue to the end…” “It is not THY HOLD of Christ that saves thee — it is Christ; it is not THY JOY in Christ that saves thee — it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument — it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ…”
So that mental image I had was wrong. I’m not clinging to Christ….he has me safely in his lap with his arms around me so I don’t fall.
And finally a note — finding a church is hard work. And I am just in the research stages.
