Butterfly

I have been struggling with some fear of anxiety and judgement lately. I got a tip at work that had “God loves you” written on it randomly from a stranger but I’ve still been somewhat stressed and uneasy. I read Ecclesiastes 5:1-7 (?) and got afraid of compulsive/foolish vowing thoughts and felt discouraged from some other parts of it. Last night I felt like unbelief and sin would condemn me at the judgement, I got cold and nauseous. This morning though I asked (and I’m not sure if this was the exact wording but I’ll try to convey the thought), “If You still love me, let me see/send me a butterfly.” If I remember right I thought of a yellow butterfly but then added the butterfly could be any color. I began having worries that I wouldn’t see one and that would mean I was faithless or unloved. I had thoughts about at night not having seen one and being scared/panicked, having compulsions to try and “cancel” it. I decided to stick with it (I can't exactly remember how nervous I may have been) and looking behind me I saw a yellow butterfly. I think I saw another one between classes, and can’t be sure of how many more I may have seen because of the light colored moths but that first yellow butterfly felt like such a blessing. Even now though my mind is beginning to bother me about coincidence and doubts (like, what if I didn't see any butterflies or what if that prayer wasn't legitimate or right, what if....). Does anyone have scripture to help me accept in my heart God’s love and forgiveness and how to really trust Jesus as Lord? Or how to act in/on this love? Even now I am back and forth, posting this to glorify God and be reminded of this prayer or not posting it because of the fear of what if I'm wrong about this.