My Walk With God

derpytia
2 min read
Views
612
General
Job 16:9-11 New Living Translation (NLT) 9 God hates me and angrily tears me apart. He snaps his teeth at me and pierces me with his eyes. 10 People jeer and laugh at me. They slap my cheek in contempt. A mob gathers against me. 11 God has handed me over to sinners. He has...
derpytia
3 min read
Views
719
General
I honestly tried to leave God behind and just accept my fate in Hell. I honestly don't know why I keep coming back. At least the prodigal son didn't curse at his father or hate him. I'm so broken and sick and tired. I know I have habits and behaviors that God says are sins but honestly...
derpytia
4 min read
Views
956
General
I hate God! I hate him so so so much! I hate the way he made me and I hate that he made me at all. How dare He use his power to make a fallible creation! How dare he throw his creation to the wolves! Adam and Eve didn't do anything wrong to deserve the testing they were given. Eve would have...
derpytia
3 min read
Views
704
General
Well here I am, I've come to the point where I don't know if I believe in the things that make person a "bonafide" Christian or even if I believe in God as we present Him in Christianity. It isn't because the devil has gotten me or that I'm willfully sinning. It's because my thoughts and...
derpytia
1 min read
Views
850
General
Sometimes there are no happy endings in a person's life. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I thought my life would turn out this way, I'd have said no. I miss the girl I was 10 years ago. Went to a meeting with my therapist today. Ended up angry crying over all the things that are hurting me...
derpytia
3 min read
Views
743
General
It seems that lately a lot of people I know, knew, or looked up to are dying around me. Not from "natural causes" but from suicide, illness, or the selfish act of violence. It doesn't end. This isn't some bad season of my life. This isn't some random phenomenon. I too think of death almost...
derpytia
3 min read
Views
1K
Reaction score
2
General
I look into my future and I see nothing but hardship and misery. My body will age and my health problems will get worse and probably unbearable. I will never marry because I can't be a good wife to someone and I'll never have children because I can't bear the thought of passing on my genetic...
derpytia
1 min read
Views
539
General
Doing things as I'm supposed to as commanded by God doesn't make me feel like God is happy with me or like I'm being sanctified. It just makes me feel like fool every time I fail and makes me feel like I have my nose to the grindstone. But when I stop focusing on that stuff and focus on doing...
derpytia
4 min read
Views
640
General
I use to tell myself that it wasn't always this way; that I used to love and cherish my mother once upon a time. But now looking back over my life, I realize that my relationship with her was always off. My mom is a narcissist. People hear that word and think it means someone who's full of...
derpytia
2 min read
Views
500
Reaction score
3
General
Sometimes I think people, specifically Christian people, approach anger the wrong way. We simply assume that it is better to not feel it instead of saying, it is human and okay to feel it but to not sit too long in it and to not let it take control of our lives. Even David had anger and...
derpytia
2 min read
Views
715
Reaction score
3
General
I mean, I don't understand why people of God are not more openly angry with Satan. He is the root cause of all evil in the world. Mankind has our role in it but Satan is the root and he does nothing but lie and lie and lie and destroy people's lives because he knows that God will allow him to...
derpytia
1 min read
Views
694
General
I think it's become increasingly obvious to me that I will probably never get married. I don't say this from a completely depressing viewpoint and I'm not going to just intentionally be celibate. If marriage happens then it happens but I highly doubt it will. For one, I am disabled and my...
derpytia
2 min read
Views
646
Reaction score
3
General
Lately I've been noticing that God has been occasionally answering smaller, less important petition prayers rather than actual big important prayers. Like today I was waiting for my ride home from work and it was late already and I just offhandedly said, "God please let my ride come soon." My...
derpytia
2 min read
Views
1K
Reaction score
1
General
So I've stepped away from CF and a few other things for the past few days and have noticed that I'm starting to get used to my new normal as far as health. I've still been talking to God on my own and I've been telling Him exactly how I feel without rage and anger. But I feel like I'm at odds...
derpytia
2 min read
Views
800
General
Today was a day of people posting many pictures on FB or other social media of their mothers. But I couldn't help but cry often today. I know my mom wanted more for mother's day but I was unable to give it to her. I feel such pain knowing that I'll never be able to give her what she wants and...
derpytia
3 min read
Views
723
General
God does nothing. Sometimes I think that all his work in the Old Testament was for the sake of completing the work Jesus had to do. After that, God took His hands off the wheel and now does nothing. I don't see Him at work in any facet of my life or others. All these people volunteering to...
derpytia
1 min read
Views
780
General
It seems that when I'm relatively okay I end up eventually giving in to bad habits and start going down the path away from the Lord. EVERY. TIME. I catch myself now but I can't help to beat myself up over it? Is this my answer? Is this the real answer to why God allowed me to be afflicted...
derpytia
4 min read
Views
438
Reaction score
1
General
I am in pain and despair to the core of my soul. I long for heaven and death so much. I wish Jesus would come back soon so I can go to heaven and not suffer anymore. I hate this life. I see nothing but a long string of suffering years set before me and I don't want to live them. I don't want to...
derpytia
2 min read
Views
480
Reaction score
1
General
Here I am past midnight up because of my anxiety and because of how crappy I've been feeling. Some days during the day I can find positive things and can appreciate smaller things in life. I can laugh and smile and thank God for small blessings. But some days like today where I got such poor...
derpytia
1 min read
Views
422
Reaction score
1
General
Hoooooo boy. I think God lately is making it very clear that He intends to make me more Christlike by allowing me to suffer (and suffer immensely) so that I can be of help and comfort to others. I'm already doing it now. Good gracious that's wonderful and a joy to me but it also makes me so...

Blog information

Author
derpytia
Blog entries
40
Last update

More entries from derpytia

  • 11/23/2018
    I am thankful for the knowledge and opportunity to pass on information...

More blogs from derpytia

Share this blog