Hello family. So this will be a series of entries to kind of vent my personal experiences with anxiety/panic attacks. Just took a bath to relax my nerves, I am me tally and physically fatigued right now and can't sleep. I was nodding off earlier, but got this sinking feeling in my chest and jolted out of bed. I look up my symptoms to reassure myself that what I'm feeling is normal and one of the many symptoms for anxiety. As a child my anxiety didn't bother me as much as it does now, I'm more sensitive and aware of my emotions and state of mind. Most of the time I bring on my anxiety due to being a worrier. My worries are common to most, you know the fear of dying, losing a loved one, getting enough sleep, financial security, getting an illness... I love the Lord and know in my heart that I'm going to be okay and try to remind myself while going through each episode although it's difficult to focus on anything else. The things that have helped me focus on Jesus and to keep myself from triggering my anxiety is listening to K-Love or Air-1, reading through my daily Bible plans, staying close to my family, sharing my thoughts and concerns with my partner, binge watching the Veggie Tales, sipping on hot Chamomile/mint tea, and going for a walk to get some fresh air. Stating active I've noticed has greatly decreased my anxiety, but I always feel fatigued and know that it's due to a poor diet and not enough water.
Currently at the moment, I lay awake next to my companion while pwatching Veggie Tales, resting my bible on my chest which I find brings me comfort. My legacy are feeling restless, I just took a hot bath, but it didn't help me to relax and I am physically and mentally tired which my anxiety usually begins to act up. This week has been quite a stressful week and Satan has been ruthless on Me and my family, attacking the ones I love. I'm growing weary and not because I'm currently on my menstruation l, but with life in general, it's getting harder to find the motivation to go anywhere aside from work anymore and I use to be a little adventurer when I was a child, filled with so much energy and excitement. One of my passions was to explore and be out in nature, to draw closer to God and be at peace.
My eyelids are growing heavy, the anxiety in my chest and mind is down to a minimum right now, I'm sorry if there are any typos and I begin to sound silly.... I'll leave this for blog as it is and try to shut my eyes and get some sleep now. Jesus loves you and thank you for taking the time to read this.
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