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Blog Entries from Zoooma

  1. When there is nothing left to live for

    It's so hard to live this life when no one thinks you're good enough to be more than friends. Some people throw away friendships completely. Some try to let you down easy -- "let's be pen pals." And then they make an excuse as to why, if they haven't heard from you, they would *not* call you to find out if you're okay -- "Don't have a phone." As if there isn't a single phone in the world you could use for 5 minutes??!!?? It's just an excuse to say, "Yes, i will go on with my lonely...
  2. Kinda Lonely Me

    Ay caramba. Sittin’ here in the library again. This is (almost) a daily thing now. Actually it has been for several months. When they close for a federal holiday then it’s time for me to sit in the laundromat to charge up my cell phone. Unfortunately I don’t even really use the phone part of my phone -- no one to talk to. Last fall I had someone to talk to and text with -- a LOT of texting -- but no more. This place I am in right now, in the Lowcountry of South Carolina, is not my...
  3. Uninspired Me

    At the library on Daytona 500 afternoon. No church today. That’s kinda too bad but at the same time I was not quite awake this morning. I mean I could’ve but I set my alarms to be awake and it just failed miserably. At times in life I have been a morning person but that ain’t the case now. Perhaps next week I will go with the nice neighbor couple who keeps offering. They know I am a saved Christian but they keep asking from time to time. On Thanksgiving I went with them to their church...
  4. Destitute Me

    Okay, I’m here at the library again and again on one of the three side computers to charge my phone and kill some time before the corner internet computer is free. There, hopefully, I can also charge my phone and use the internet. I must watch carefully each person who departs that room as I am looking for someone, unknown if it’s male or female, wearing black. That might be my “target.” When I see that person I’ll save this document, pull my charging mp3 player, grab the Zip-loc bag...
  5. Crucified, Innocent me

    Left and right people are comin’ after me and judging me. Their guilty verdict (I’m not even sure what the charge is) is based on what evidence? They just ramble on, spewing forth garbage that I don’t even read before reporting it for harassment. One I did read because whoever the person was had the decency to Private Message me and even signed her name to it. She wasn’t mean but it was clear she only knew one side of the exaggerated story. Hearsay is all they have -- hearsay from just one...
  6. Devastated me

    So scared I am right now that I could lose someone from my life, someone who is so special to me. This has just been the worst night and one of the worst 24 hours ever. It's not Kathy's fault. I just wish we were talking instead of texting. If we were talking, this would never be happening. The past 24 hours have not been right. I brought up some things that I didn't understand, some things totally uncharacteristic of our friendship. These things upset her which I never ever intended....
  7. So stupid me

    Half a day has come and gone. We move thru the afternoon and into the evening and not a peep from her. Why am I so stupid to think that my life has value??? Obviously it does not. If it did I would not be silenced out like this. God hates me. He does not care if I am happy. I always believed He did but if Kathy can't simply text me then I know He just doesn't give a crap. I am so stupid.
  8. Disposable me

    It's been 12 hours since she's contacted me. We have not gone this long in 2 weeks. I feel so disposable, like a piece of trash so easily thrown away.
  9. useless me

    All I wanted last night was to drink. Okay, that's not really all I wanted but at a point when the night was over, but there was no sleep to be had, all I wanted was to not live. Again. I walked 20 minutes up to the nearest 24 hour gas station/mini-mart and bought a . . . [gasp] a Pepsi. I'm not sure what I was thinkin'. Pepsi??? Shoulda gotten a Coke. As I walked back to my current place of sleeping (not reallly my home considering my heart is in New York where it belongs) I was...
  10. Loyal To The End

    We call them "Man's Best Friend" and this image will always always always be with me. I cried so hard during this. I'm left mostly without words. Wow. Dog Won't Leave Fallen Navy SEAL's Side - YouTube
  11. How To Post A Video To Your Blog

    Jeremy Camp - The Way (Official Music Video) - YouTube 1) Over at YouTube, Copy the URL 2) Come back to your blog post 3) Click the LINK ICON --> 4) Paste (the URL) 5) Click OK that's it :P When composing your blog post, if you click the button, the html should look like this: [UPL="http: // www . youtube . com / watch?v=9q6o4sbndVE"]The Title off the video will be automatically filled in - YouTube[/UPL] **** REPLACE P in URL with R and REMOVE THE SPACES. I had...
  12. SC Heat

    Hot. So hot. My Location isn't Hudson River Valley, New York right now, it's the Lowcountry of South Carolina, near Charleston. NY's my home but this is where I am at the moment and it is HOT. Two days in a row now have been essentially identical. Each day I've decided to go and challenge myself with a hike on the local trail here. Ho-ly cow, man, I tell ya what -- I am wiped out. Today's hike... 102° when I left the house. 103° when I returned. 107-108° Heat Index (For...
  13. A victory but who won?

    It's been a fascinating night. It was simple enough for awhile -- I was quietly watching my favorite baseball team, the New York Mets, on Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN. Good game until the Bottom of the 8th when Philadelphia tied the score 1-1. Then sometime around the early Top of the 9th, the camera went to show the announcing crew in the announcers booth. The main dude looking at the camera said, along the lines of, "We have some breaking news coming into us now." --"Okay, it's...
  14. Kinda scared

    There's always a blog commentary running in my head but I just never have the drive to type any of it out. Maybe now. Why? I don't know. I got a frightening outlook on the future an hour or so earlier. I might be homeless soon, truly homeless without a place to go. ALL of my possessions will be lost forever. My pictures and books, my Grandmother's Bible, my clothes, my music collection, everything except what I can put into a backpack -- gone. There's nowhere that I can store any of...
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