There are four different directions I could be taking at this stage - Vision, Mirage, Hallucination, Delusion. I am, indeed, at a crossroads, and only one direction takes me to my destination, which is a new identity in Christ based upon my dual Danish and English heritages.
Vision is being able to see or understand adequately enough to reach my goal and then live as God wants me to live. Mirage is where I think I see my new identity way off in the distance and I move toward it, only to find that my destination keeps moving further and further away. Hallucination is where I plod on in an unorganised, haphazard way believing that I will achieve my identity. Delusion is where I believe I will have a new identity eventually but in reality, it's never going to happen but I carry on regardless.
I know the direction I want to take but I don't know for certain that I can reach it under these current circumstances of this global epidemic of COVID-19. I feel isolated and trapped in my own thoughts. Although I am at work, the social distance of 2 metres from each other's workstations might as well be 2 miles. Although things are getting better, and we laugh a little more, we do not chat so freely as we used to, each person seems distracted by his or her own thoughts on family, parents, children, sisters and brothers, or just the fear of catching the coronavirus. I seem to be slipping from the Real World into some sort of other reality, desperately trying to hold onto my faith in Jesus and God. I desperately want to rush this blog entry and publish before some disaster strikes. I pray that we share our hopes and dreams and our fears much more on these forums during this period.
Lord, help me through these dark days...
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