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Anxiety - Entry 3

  1. Just got home from working a twelve hour shift. I am a Certified Nursing Assistant. I was in a rush coming home so maybe that's why I feel a little disoriented. As soon as I got home I hopped in the shower, but something strange happened, while rinsing my hair I suddenly became unaware of my surroundings and felt like I was still standing at the nurse's station at work, this made me feel like I had lost my mind. I quickly finished rinsing and got off the shower, the feeling lasted for ten minutes, still feel kinda uncomfortable of my home surroundings, but settled down in bed laying next to my partner who is fast asleep.

    I've made a quick transition from days to nights and just started back in the medical field after a year break making sandwiches at Subway and cleaning cat and dog kennels. I think because of the sudden shift change and working so many hours a week, I've stressed myself out pass my limits and need to slow down from what my family told me and I agree. I already asked my boss to switch me to an eight hour shift on a regular four on two off consistent schedule for the sake of my mental and physical health. My anxiety has been through the roof and all these long harsh hours are not making it better, just worse. I go home everyday still hearing the call lights in my head, my entire back will be sore, I'll be disoriented and sometimes nauseous. Coming home it also takes me awhile to calm down and get to sleep.
    I love to draw, I wish the Lord God almighty would let me make a living off of this passion of mine because I would thoroughly enjoy it, doing commission work and being an artist of almost every medium and can draw from cartoon to realistic portraits, I'd be able to sell my work to keep me afloat.
    Granted, I am a prideful person and can be very irresponsible with what I'm given, I'm still praying on those two aspects about me.

    My back has been really hurting.
    I weigh 110 and I am 5'6" I have hardly any muscle and the work I do is lifting people, maneuvering them, bathing them, changing them, dressing them etc. It's hard honest work and I've taken several breaks in the past and already due for another, maybe find a different profession that pays well, but isn't overbearing. The cost of living in Montana has significantly increased in the past three years, but the wages have not changed so it's getting harder to stay off the streets and feed ourselves at the same time. It's sad and wish the people running this state would take the proper initiatives to fix it immediately.

    I'm starting to relax now, the omega 3 and ginko biloaba I took earlier, I think they may be working, I'm feeling a lot more familiar with my surroundings again and I'm yawning and getting tired so in Jesus name, whoever is reading this and may be experiencing something similar or you're either tired and just anxious, may Jesus place His healing hands upon you and me and bring us both peace of spirit, mind and body in Jesus name I pray, AMEN

    END - Entry 3


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  1. 1watchman
    God says to "...bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ " (2 Cor. 10:5). He wants to hear our request for help and is ever ready to help us ---right?

    As to your interests, why not try some work on the side in art, and begin sharing it with the proper outlets?
      Gracefullybroken27 likes this.
    1. Gracefullybroken27
      Doesn't hurt to try and as for the proper outlets, I'll ask the Lord to guide me in the right direction. Thank you :)