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Anxiety - Entry 2

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  1. Anxiety - Entry 2

    Tonight and the past 3 nights I moved over to the night shift at my job as a CNA, daytime hours are too busy for me. I hadn't worked nocs in little over a year now so my body and mind are trying to adjust to the change. For the past three nights I felt off while at work, I was trying to keep busy because as soon as I would sit down I'd start to feel detached from my surroundings, kind of felt like I was in a dream. An old colleague and friend came onto my unit to say hello to me and while we were talking catching up and whatnot, my mind started to drift off. I was no longer a part of the conversationthey and to me they were like a total stranger instead of someone I have know for 4 years.

    I think this all may be hormonal because my menstruation is approaching and I usually do feel off when it's near. So I'll go with that, but my anxiety in general comes and goes on a daily basis with the symptoms of detachment, fatigued, absent minded, fidgety, unable to fall asleep when tired, headaches, body twitches, unable to focus on simple tasks, numb or tingling sensation in hands or feet and many more. There are many symptoms of anxiety, that each time I experience a new one I worry that there may be something wrong with me or that I may be dying, something silly like that. Each time this happens I stop and tell myself out loud, " STOP, you are okay, you are not dying, this feeling is only temporary and this will pass. I AM OKAY. I will not die unless Jesus says that it is my time to come home. Trying to rationalize with my anxious mind is like trying to make a fish breath air.

    Most days I've learned to cope with my anxiety through scripture, combining and drinking Chamomile + Peppermint tea, taking warm baths with baby shampoo for the calming fragrance, talking to my dad or my mom asking them what works for them and praying with them, bingeing the new veggie tales shows on Netflix or The Bible series, listening to Air 1, reading through bible plans on the bible app that are on the subject of anxiety... and sometime I can focus long enough to draw.


    **brain stopped working**


    I can't remember where I was going with this, thankfully this is just a blog to just vent about my anxiety, this is also another way for me to get it out of my system which is also very therapeutic for me, being able to share my personal struggles with my Christian family through this wonderful site, God bless Christian Forums!

    One of my favourite evangelist is Billy Graham, he doesn't veer from the scriptures when preaching, he's always focused on whatever subject he chose to talk about for each one of his sermons and doesn't address it through the eyes of mankind, but through the eyes of God using his own leather bound King James Bible. Sometimes Billy will tell a short story of a personnel experience of his, but he remains focused and never sugar coats the truth, of the word of God. He has helped me a couple moments in my life where I seriously though that my anxiety would be the death of me that if I fell asleep that I wasn't going to wake up, and for some odd reason that scared me even though I know better and that to be absent of the flesh is to be in the presence of my God.

    - Corinthians 5:8

    I would play the Billy Graham sermons playlist on YouTube and immediately my irrational fear of dying in my sleep would dissapear and before I could think anymore on the subject I would be out like a light and wake up 6-8 hours later with Billy Graham still preaching which I might add is the best way to start a new day is to waking up and hearing about the Lord, it immediately gets your mind focused on Him which sets the course for a good day.


    END - Entry 2

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Comments

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  1. Mark Dohle
    Wow, what a brave soul you are. You are honest, have self knowledge and have a deep love and relationship with God. Yes, your life is hard, yet you have ways of dealing with it, and a good relationship with your parents.

    Let us pray for one another.

    peace
    mark
    1. Gracefullybroken27
      Thank you. Yes, I will keep you in my prayers and of you need to talk to someone, feel free to reach out to me. May you have a blessed day!