So I have made this blog primarily to record my thoughts, experiences and insights gained when I pray. In some cases, I have experiences into which I have very little insight, but want to document them lest I forget (which is not difficult with my memory!). So today, I have no wisdom, but just a writing down of two experiences that occurred while I prayed the Jesus Prayer.
One of the things that has happened I would have written off as just not feeling well if it had happened once, but since it has now happened twice, it seems reasonable to record it. On these two occasions, during prayer, I have developed overwhelming dizziness (both lightheaded and vertigo, it seemed) with generalized weakness and nausea. Each time it lasted only a few minutes and I felt fine the rest of the day. These two events were separated by at least a month of time. The first occurrence was so overwhelming that I had to stop praying and lay down. On the second occasion, I was able to continue my prayers and this feeling eventually subsided, though it certainly was a distraction to focusing on my prayer.
The other distraction that happened on one occasion was that it seemed all of my past sin was brought up before me in vivid detail, and I was overcome emotionally with guilt and sorrow, weeping, such that all I could do was to cry out even more, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner”. Nevertheless, this was also a distraction, successfully breaking my focus on the prayer and He to Whom I was praying...turning me away from seeking Him to thinking of myself. But at the time, it was certainly an antidote to any pride I might have felt, reminding me of my sinful nature, so I guess it was still good.
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