Your pastor and his wife

Goodbook

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note..pastor is not the same role as a deacon.
sorry don't confuse my post about that, I wasn't talking about deacons at all.
Paul was an evangelist and apostle - he wasn't a pastor or bishop. That's a different role with different gifting.
 
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Goodbook

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I think it would be wrong to just marry someone in order to become a pastor. lol.

I think maybe in some churches they do that and the poor pastors wife becomes like a trophy wife who only paraded around in church to show how good the pastor is.

You can't do that if you are truly called by God. He would send a wife to you in order for you both to fulfill the minstry together.
 
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98cwitr

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i think its only pastors/bishops. It doesn't say for deacons.
Because it does specify what a bishops' wife ought to be like as well, otherwise it wouldn't say anything.

I could explore scripture on that and get back to this thread..but does say for a bishop I recall that he must be able to rule his own household, there's no household to speak of if he's just alone and single.

I see what you mean. The greek is here

ἐπίσκοπος,n \{ep-is'-kop-os}
1) an overseer 1a) a man charged with the duty of seeing that things to be done by others are done rightly, any curator, guardian or superintendent 1b) the superintendent, elder, or overseer of a Christian church

In the Baptist Church, at least ours, the "overseer" isn't technically the pastor, but is the Board of Deacons collectively. I know this isn't the case with a lot of churches, but just pointing out that those that oversee the church aren't always the lone pastoral position. :)
 
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Goodbook

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Yes well its both really but our pastor is the one who preaches in the pulpit, the deacons dont have this role, and hes the one who oversees everyone i.e. Hes the voice and literally sees everyone who gathers in services. The deacons are elders who team with the pastor. In our baptist church there are three.
They have a say on the day to day running of the church and pray and support the pastor and make decisions on the churches welfare. Elders are more behind the scenes. The pastor literally has an office. The elders dont really.

Another thing is, well in our baptist church our pastor is called reverend. Not that we call him this but he is ordained so is actually given this honor, the bible days those in this role are given double honor, so even though we just call him by his first name in our actions we are meant to give him reverence. I think that just means we put him first as hes the one whos looking after us. So we pray he has Gods word to speak and pray for his family etc.
 
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98cwitr

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Yes well its both really but our pastor is the one who preaches in the pulpit, the deacons dont have this role, and hes the one who oversees everyone i.e. Hes the voice and literally sees everyone who gathers in services. The deacons are elders who team with the pastor. In our baptist church there are three.
They have a say on the day to day running of the church and pray and support the pastor and make decisions on the churches welfare. Elders are more behind the scenes. The pastor literally has an office. The elders dont really.

Another thing is, well in our baptist church our pastor is called reverend. Not that we call him this but he is ordained so is actually given this honor, the bible days those in this role are given double honor, so even though we just call him by his first name in our actions we are meant to give him reverence. I think that just means we put him first as hes the one whos looking after us. So we pray he has Gods word to speak and pray for his family etc.

Do yall ordain your deacons too?
 
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Goodbook

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I'm not sure how this works exactly but I think its done by members vote as to who gets to be deacons/elders.
the pastor and elders get picked by the congregation, they can't just be there if nobody wants them there. The pastor of course needs to be ordained and the elders are in good standing with the church I'm not sure if they need hands laid on them like a pastor does but they can't just be an elder without maybe a pledge of some kind to serve the church.

I do know that we have a blessing or is it an ordination ceremony in which the elders and pastors have to agree to dedicate their service to the church and then covered in prayer.
 
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Goodbook

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I see what you mean. The greek is here

ἐπίσκοπος,n \{ep-is'-kop-os}
1) an overseer 1a) a man charged with the duty of seeing that things to be done by others are done rightly, any curator, guardian or superintendent 1b) the superintendent, elder, or overseer of a Christian church

In the Baptist Church, at least ours, the "overseer" isn't technically the pastor, but is the Board of Deacons collectively. I know this isn't the case with a lot of churches, but just pointing out that those that oversee the church aren't always the lone pastoral position. :)
Note..first definition...a man
 
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Goodbook

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Well, on sunday our pastor ' decommisioned' a church member who is leaving to be youth pastor of another church in another town. She spoke and her husband held their baby girl but he didnt say anything.
We all prayed for her, the only thing is.,apart from bible study in which she led a few times, she never said a word to me and actually would ignore me in church.

I just feel a bit odd about the whole thing. Why does she speak but her husband not say anything? Why are they praying for mostly her and not her husband? Is she the boss lady while he hangs around? Do men really enjoy being second fiddle to their wives now and will this keep up? I was at their wedding...they are moving for her position not his, he wont even have a paid job, though hes trained as a teacher I think hes happy with all the childcare...for now...yet do men really want to do all this without ever having a kind of full time provider/breadwinning role?

Im not being judgy i dont think just a bit concerned. Of course i dont know them well enough to tell if it works for them and they happy as they are but to me somethings not quite right.
 
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98cwitr

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I think there's a minority of men who are comfortable with their woman making the money and them staying at home. I personally don't agree with this, but the more I reflect on this, the more I realize that it's simply a taught indoctrination of gender roles within our society. We go back to Genesis and see that Adam was commanded to work and that Eve was to bear children, and this made sense in a hunter/gatherer/manual labor sense. In a job market where manual labor is on a heavy decline due to automation, I find that trained women and men can equally contribute to the work force. Thus, it it then on the couple to decide on what roles each will play, as long as they are both comfortable in those roles. In my own marriage, I make the most money, so it makes more sense for my wife to quit work to take care of the children and I will continue working. This is simply a financial and nurturing choice. Women are better nurturers than men, but both parents play a very vital role in bringing up their children, and both parents will have a strong influence on their children.
 
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Goodbook

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I suppose.
But i dont think youth pastors earn that much anyway..
Our own youth pastor has part time hours and his wife works full time as a teacher. They have three school age children. His wife said it was a blessing that she was able to find work to support her husband.

Im not sure how this church sister who is leaving to be a youth pastor will get by if her husband has no paid role. They have one child but dont know if theyll have any more. We did pray that he would find a role as well but they are not moving for his sake but hers.

Anyway. I suppose times and economies have changed and its more shall i say equal opportunity now. But i think some things get lost when women feel they need to work all the time. My own mother works outside the home and last night i gave her one of my dresses that was too small for me, and she remarked that she hardly wore dresses anymore. Shed been wearing pants for so long its like she forgot to be a woman.
 
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Goodbook

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A pastor is a nuturing role I suppose but i think to miss out on being a mother if you so busy looking after everyone else wouldnt be wise. This takes time and energy especially when children are young.

Even you 98cwtr make a choice and state that women are better nurturers than men. So i dont really understnd your own double standard. Facts is men are still paid more than women even in the same roles.
 
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98cwitr

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Im sorry...Im not seeing my double standard. Please elaborate.

--

Youth pastors don't earn much at all! My wife is the youth director at church and she spends a lot of what she makes in gas just going and coming to and from church (we live a long way away).

--

Clothes dont make the woman... ;) My wife is just as much a woman in jeans or slacks as she is in a summer dress.

--

Pastors have VERY flexible schedules based on the demands of the church and it's members. Our pastor is at home a lot with her child, and they both write sermons and plan/prep for church services. I don't know if you have kids or not, but it really takes two to raise a child successfully. My mom was a single mom and trust me, she and I both would have been in a real bind if my grandparents didn't do a lot of taking care of me as a child.

The misconception here is that a pastor is the "head" of the church and an authoritative figure. This couldn't be further from the truth. A pastor is one who shares the Good News, ministers to all who will listen, and is a servant of the congregation and community. You're right to say that a pastor's role is best from a nurturing soul.

The head of the church is Christ...and only Christ. No man or woman can fill those shoes...ever. At best, the pastor is only the "hired hand" of the Shepherd...and we know what the hired hand does when the wolf comes.
 
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Goodbook

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Yes so I'm wondering how this youth pastor is going to get by if her husband doesn't have a job. That's all.

your double standard is that you go against the bible in supporting that women can have authority over men. In positions of pastor, a woman in that role would be violating scripture as she is being head over men and even her husband as pastors DO teach when they preach. And most congegations have men in them.
But then you say women are better nuturers and that you earn the most money so your wife can quit her job to be the one looking after the children.

Not really getting this conflicting thinking. But then I suppose since your brought up in single parent household with mum as like the head of the household then...that sort of explains it. You didn't have a father figure.
 
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Goodbook

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Jesus is the head of the church, and then it goes man, then women then children.
You wouldn't have children go up and preach to their mums would you.
You wouldn't have women go and preach to their husbands.
That's just the wrong way round. The point is order in the church. And pastors are not meant to be 'hired hands' they are meant to be called to be servants of others. If you think pastors are just hired hands then...I think something is awry in your church.

I'm sorry you don't really make much sense at all. I mean half of what you say is true and then the other half is just a bit weird and doesn't line up with the bible. Sorry.
 
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98cwitr

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Yes so I'm wondering how this youth pastor is going to get by if her husband doesn't have a job. That's all.

your double standard is that you go against the bible in supporting that women can have authority over men. In positions of pastor, a woman in that role would be violating scripture as she is being head over men and even her husband as pastors DO teach when they preach. And most congegations have men in them.
But then you say women are better nuturers and that you earn the most money so your wife can quit her job to be the one looking after the children.

Not really getting this conflicting thinking. But then I suppose since your brought up in single parent household with mum as like the head of the household then...that sort of explains it. You didn't have a father figure.

I would assume by living with their inlaws. I know a few children and youth ministers who over the years shacked up with either their parents or in laws to make ends meet.

I don't think pastors have any "authority" over anyone, so I don't see a double standard at all. They are simply servants with a specific role, and Christ is the authority over the church, not man (or woman). I say my wife can quit work for a few years because it's a decision WE both made together, not something I am chauvinistically "permitting" her to do. Woman are better nurturers, wouldn't you agree?

My uncle and grandfather were both the major male influences over my young development, but you're right, since Dad only came around twice a year I didn't get the day in - day out father role...which I feel now, as an adult, is vital to healthy child development as long as both the parents are grounded in Christ, that the marriage is founded on love and God, which will teach the child what real love vs worldly love looks like.

I wish I could say that about my pastor growing up, but I never really saw love between him and his wife in public.
 
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98cwitr

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Jesus is the head of the church, and then it goes man, then women then children.
You wouldn't have children go up and preach to their mums would you.
You wouldn't have women go and preach to their husbands.
That's just the wrong way round. The point is order in the church. And pastors are not meant to be 'hired hands' they are meant to be called to be servants of others. If you think pastors are just hired hands then...I think something is awry in your church.

I'm sorry you don't really make much sense at all. I mean half of what you say is true and then the other half is just a bit weird and doesn't line up with the bible. Sorry.

Did not Jesus teach in the synagogues, teaching both men and women, even before he was a teenager? Luke 2.

Let's not let some false legalistic mindsets cloud the work of the Holy Spirit:

Acts 2:17

“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams."
 
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Goodbook

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Hmm thats true but he was the only begotton son of God, so thats why it was so unusual. We are not the same as Jesus. None of us were there at the beginning of creation were we?

And yes the spirit pours out on young and men and women, but that doesnt mean that there cant be order in the church and young men and women both respect their elders.
 
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Goodbook

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Its really not legalistic i dont think, its the right order to do things. Even Mary told her son jesus to do something at the wedding at that was his first miracle. I dont think he would have done it had not his mother urged him and encouraged him first.

Jesus submited to his Heavenly father, and so must we, and you know, I just dont think its right to go ahead of God. Its very tempting to think just cos im saved that I could go up to preach to anybody I want and they'll listen, but actually no, it isnt the case.
 
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I would assume by living with their inlaws. I know a few children and youth ministers who over the years shacked up with either their parents or in laws to make ends meet.

I don't think pastors have any "authority" over anyone, so I don't see a double standard at all. They are simply servants with a specific role, and Christ is the authority over the church, not man (or woman). I say my wife can quit work for a few years because it's a decision WE both made together, not something I am chauvinistically "permitting" her to do. Woman are better nurturers, wouldn't you agree?

My uncle and grandfather were both the major male influences over my young development, but you're right, since Dad only came around twice a year I didn't get the day in - day out father role...which I feel now, as an adult, is vital to healthy child development as long as both the parents are grounded in Christ, that the marriage is founded on love and God, which will teach the child what real love vs worldly love looks like.

I wish I could say that about my pastor growing up, but I never really saw love between him and his wife in public.
Well, i dont know about your marriage but shes the one who quit her job it had to be her decision...when you resign from a job its not like you both wrote a resignation letter. I know once couple the husband retired and so convinced hiswife to retire too even though she didnt want to, she submitted to his will. But that was an unqually yoked marriage. Hes not a believer.

If you dont see pastors having any kind of authority over anyone, then how do you explain Jesus saying I give you authority to cast out demons? Luke 10:19
Why are the even pastors if they dont have any kind of authority to look after the flock??? Not everyone is a pastor! Some sheep and lambs need protecting!!!!
 
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