You like a church but not the pastor

[Mariya116]

Has it ever happened to you? You like a certain church and enjoy coming there, you like everyone there and the way they do things, but just aren't feeling the pastor and his sermons. It doesn't have to be anything personally against the man, just his points of view and messages don't vibe right with you. Perhaps he is of an opposing political or social position and lets it be known during sermons while assuming everyone agrees, or he just reminds you of a grumpy grandpa - whatever.

 

[GoingByzantine]

I have felt this way visiting other churches, but never in my own, at least that I can recall.

 

[rusmeister]

There is a danger in looking for the church or its aspects to please you. (I assume you're speaking of an Orthodox Church?) The danger is called "church-shopping".

CS Lewis addressed it from the demonic point of view:

One of our great allies at present is the Church itself. Do not misunderstand me. I do riot mean the Church as we see her spread but through all time and space and rooted in eternity, terrible as an army with banners. That, I confess, is a spectacle which makes I our boldest tempters uneasy. But fortunately it is quite invisible to these humans. All your patient sees is the half-finished, sham Gothic erection on the new building estate. When he goes inside, he sees the local grocer with rather in oily expression on his face bustling up to offer him one shiny little book containing a liturgy which neither of them understands, and one shabby little book containing corrupt texts of a number of religious lyrics, mostly bad, and in very small print. When he gets to his pew and looks round him he sees just that selection of his neighbours whom he has hitherto avoided.

You want to lean pretty heavily on those neighbours. Make his mind flit to and fro between an expression like "the body of Christ" and the actual faces in the next pew. It matters very little, of course, what kind of people that next pew really contains. You may know one of them to be a great warrior on the Enemy's side. No matter. Your patient, thanks to Our Father below, is a fool. Provided that any of those neighbours sing out of tune, or have boots that squeak, or double chins, or odd clothes, the patient will quite easily believe that their religion must therefore be somehow ridiculous. At his present stage, you see, he has an idea of "Christians" in his mind which he supposes to be spiritual but which, in fact, is largely pictorial. His mind is full of togas and sandals and armour and bare legs and the mere fact that the other people in church wear modern clothes is a real—though of course an unconscious—difficulty to him. Never let it come to the surface; never let him ask what he expected them to look like. Keep everything hazy in his mind now, and you will have all eternity wherein to amuse yourself by producing in him the peculiar kind of clarity which Hell affords

.

I would include the priest among the neighbors, and mannerisms and personality as well as external appearance.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Ya gotta love some Screwtape Letters!

There is a danger in looking for the church or its aspects to please you. (I assume you're speaking of an Orthodox Church?) The danger is called "church-shopping".

CS Lewis addressed it from the demonic point of view:
.

I would include the priest among the neighbors, and mannerisms and personality as well as external appearance.

 

[truefiction1]

Has it ever happened to you? You like a certain church and enjoy coming there, you like everyone there and the way they do things, but just aren't feeling the pastor and his sermons. It doesn't have to be anything personally against the man, just his points of view and messages don't vibe right with you. Perhaps he is of an opposing political or social position and lets it be known during sermons while assuming everyone agrees, or he just reminds you of a grumpy grandpa - whatever.

Yeah, it happens.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

We have a deacon who doesn't chant, he SHOUTS the entire liturgy. Our choir makes mistakes from time to time, our priest chants off-key, and some of the altar boys clown around like crazy. My parish invited a tattoo artist for a Lenten retreat last year, we have some unfriendly people who never smile and some who act Protestant. We have our oddities to be sure. I've heard our Mother's Club is a fascist regime, too! Some people at coffee hour are awesome, some talk to hear their own voices. People are organized into cliques often times as well.

But there is way more GOOD in my parish than these petty annoyances. I just try to look past it and realize how annoying I can be!

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

We have a deacon who doesn't chant, he SHOUTS the entire liturgy. Our choir makes mistakes from time to time, our priest chants off-key, and some of the altar boys clown around like crazy. My parish invited a tattoo artist for a Lenten retreat last year, we have some unfriendly people who never smile and some who act Protestant. We have our oddities to be sure. I've heard our Mother's Club is a fascist regime, too! Some people at coffee hour are awesome, some talk to hear their own voices. People are organized into cliques often times as well.

But there is way more GOOD in my parish than these petty annoyances. I just try to look past it and realize how annoying I can be!

 

[ArmyMatt]

there was one time that a priest said something in Church that made me put the spiritual breaks on and wonder if I heard what I thought I just heard, but he was not my priest so I actually dunno. but I daresay even if he was, since the parish was wonderful and I had no personal qualms with the man, even if he was my priest I woulda stayed. remember we go to Church to receive the Body and Blood of Christ, much more than to hear the sermon.

 

[Dorothea]

Actually, yes, that's happened to us before, and recently in the past year.

 

[Shane R]

There is an EO parish close to my home that I visited many times. The members were quite hospitable and receptive to me; I was even invited to join the choir. However, the priest and I have some sort of struggle with each other. Some of what he says makes me cringe as he retains some of his liberal Protestant influences, and he constantly revisited the fact that I am OO not EO and we are not in full communion. I have not visited the parish since last summer.

 

[Kristos]

Has it ever happened to you? You like a certain church and enjoy coming there, you like everyone there and the way they do things, but just aren't feeling the pastor and his sermons. It doesn't have to be anything personally against the man, just his points of view and messages don't vibe right with you. Perhaps he is of an opposing political or social position and lets it be known during sermons while assuming everyone agrees, or he just reminds you of a grumpy grandpa - whatever.

I suppose I feel a bit like that with my current priest. I just haven't connected with him on any level. I try to listen to his homilies, but they are about as dry as the sahara. For some reason, he really like to tell stories about saints - which is not bad, but he is a terrible storyteller and usually leaves me wonder "what was the point?" BUT - I do continue to try and I respect him and his ministry.

 

[Mariya116]

I suppose I feel a bit like that with my current priest. I just haven't connected with him on any level. I try to listen to his homilies, but they are about as dry as the sahara. For some reason, he really like to tell stories about saints - which is not bad, but he is a terrible storyteller and usually leaves me wonder "what was the point?" BUT - I do continue to try and I respect him and his ministry.

Yes, I pretty much feel the same - I respect him but am not connecting to him. It happens. This is not my main church but they have evening services that fit into my schedule and thankfully allow me to go to church a lot more than once a week. So, I think I can manage.