Will my husband's assault charge affect my job?

[DZoolander]

For good.

 

[chrisdrama99]

I am pregnant. My whole life is really HIM. I don't have any outside friends really anymore... many of them didn't understand why I went back to him and I haven't forced them to hang out with us. It's all very uncomfortable. So how do I have the strength to just LEAVE? I haven't succeeded in the past ... i've tried.

My work (obviously) takes the back seat to him -- really my WHOLE life is fixated on him. He yelled at me for 9 hours almost straight yesterday. From 3pm until I begged him to let me sleep. It was about midnight. He just yells and screams and tells me I'm clueless.

I told him that I talked to my therapist yesterday. He asked for she said. I said well I told her I'm pregnant and that I feel like I have a lot of pressure. His response? "no one gives a f*ck about MY Pressure" it's all YOU YOU YOU YOU. I said I'm pregnant. I don't feel well -- stomach is sick -- almost always and I am trying to stay strong here. He said you went for a run this morning? Something tells me you aren't as sick as you pretend to be.. he said that I use my sickness CONVENIENTLY to become a victim.

 

[DZoolander]

You are pregnant. You think he's going to be better to that kid?

I've got 2 kids, and let me tell you, once they come your life will be about them.

How old are you?

 

[chrisdrama99]

I'm 35.
And I know life will need to focus on the baby...but I have the stress of working too -- and apparently keeping us afloat.

He had the opportunity to take a job with a one year contract -- it gave him one year salary and he would have to commit to a 5 year lease for his business after the first year. Basically it's one year paid very well and then... survive on your own.

I said it was best idea because we could take the pressure off of me. He said no -- that it's just a patch until the second year and then the pressure would be back to all on me...

You are pregnant. You think he's going to be better to that kid?

I've got 2 kids, and let me tell you, once they come your life will be about them.

How old are you?

 

[DZoolander]

At 35 you should know better, to be honest.

I was about to give you some fatherly advice, because I assumed you were a kid in your early 20's or something. I'm also at this point wondering if you're this person that posts about her obviously bad relationship under different names once every couple of months...like...are you Catholic? lol

But giving you the benefit of the doubt... You are an adult - and you should know that in life you get what you permit to be introduced into your life. What he's doing is emotional extortion - and you're allowing it in. You should also know that feelings are temporary. What is painful and difficult to deal with today, if you stick with it, is normal life that doesn't get a second thought in a few months.

If legit - you're on a dangerous path. You either have enough desire for self preservation (obligation to both yourself and to the kid in your belly) to remove that stuff from your life, or you don't.

 

[Honesty-SJ]

I find it interesting that you skipped over my post. You said you wanted an "objective" perspective and I gave you one. Everything I said is objectively true and they are not my commands. They are God's. You are now taking "subjective opinions" from people and only caring about what is comforting to your emotional rant. That is never going to help you. I gave you proper advice and sound scripture. If all you wanted to do was come on here and gossip about your husband, then it was not my place to try and set you on the right path. You are 35, with your first child and you do not have the slightest idea of what your duty is as a mother, as a wife, as a follower of Christ.

(2 Timothy 2:16) Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

I'd advise you to stop searching here, get a hold of your nagging and gossiping, find some common ground with your husband and let him lead you. This is never going to stop otherwise. I'm not trying to say that I don't know what problems in a marriage are. I do. I was the one nagging and causing my husband to want to pull his hair out. You have to realize you are to follow him as the Lord has commanded you. If you cannot do that, there will be no hope for proper reconciliation. It should be obvious why your husband feels his authority is being challenged.

It does not matter what anyone says, which is subjective perspective, it is said,
(Epeshians 5:22) Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
See how there is no, "only if he does this, only if he says the right things, only if he leads perfectly?"

Know what his command is? (Ephesians 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Our God, so perfect and loving, gave His life up for the church.
There is no if, ands or buts about these commands.

So the best thing you could do is let go of the pride you are so obviously full of, open your eyes, ears, mind and soul to accept what your husband is telling you and SUBMIT. I promise you, it will not feel as much of a burden as it does now, once you are able to act like a true woman.

 

[DZoolander]

So, let the dude go to her conference and create drama with her boss/coworkers - likely jeopardizing their only source of income/what's keeping them afloat?

 

[chrisdrama99]

If I did that we would be in horrible trouble. He is not acting rational.

Last night he came into the bedroom and told me he was hearing voices and steps in the house. Said he heard someone call his name.

Then after we fought for hours last night over a decision he already made yesterday (to move closer to my family) ...he woke up this morning and asked what Ive decided ?!!

I can not submit to him. He's not acting rational.
And he's constantly telling me he is going to leave me. Pregnant too!!

I find it interesting that you skipped over my post. You said you wanted an "objective" perspective and I gave you one. Everything I said is objectively true and they are not my commands. They are God's. You are now taking "subjective opinions" from people and only caring about what is comforting to your emotional rant. That is never going to help you. I gave you proper advice and sound scripture. If all you wanted to do was come on here and gossip about your husband, then it was not my place to try and set you on the right path. You are 35, with your first child and you do not have the slightest idea of what your duty is as a mother, as a wife, as a follower of Christ.

(2 Timothy 2:16) Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

I'd advise you to stop searching here, get a hold of your nagging and gossiping, find some common ground with your husband and let him lead you. This is never going to stop otherwise. I'm not trying to say that I don't know what problems in a marriage are. I do. I was the one nagging and causing my husband to want to pull his hair out. You have to realize you are to follow him as the Lord has commanded you. If you cannot do that, there will be no hope for proper reconciliation. It should be obvious why your husband feels his authority is being challenged.

It does not matter what anyone says, which is subjective perspective, it is said,
(Epeshians 5:22) Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
See how there is no, "only if he does this, only if he says the right things, only if he leads perfectly?"

Know what his command is? (Ephesians 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Our God, so perfect and loving, gave His life up for the church.
There is no if, ands or buts about these commands.

So the best thing you could do is let go of the pride you are so obviously full of, open your eyes, ears, mind and soul to accept what your husband is telling you and SUBMIT. I promise you, it will not feel as much of a burden as it does now, once you are able to act like a true woman.

 

[Dave-W]

IMO your husband is delusional. He thinks he is living in la-la land where everything is supposed to go HIS way. Except no such place exists.

What does he plan to do when you get fired after he mouths off to your boss?

 

[Thir7ySev3n]

If I did that we would be in horrible trouble. He is not acting rational.

Last night he came into the bedroom and told me he was hearing voices and steps in the house. Said he heard someone call his name.

Then after we fought for hours last night over a decision he already made yesterday (to move closer to my family) ...he woke up this morning and asked what Ive decided ?!!

I can not submit to him. He's not acting rational.
And he's constantly telling me he is going to leave me. Pregnant too!!

This story reeks of classical manipulative rhetoric and fabrication. The details of your husband's psychology are progressing absurdly according to the need of your objection. When telling a story about losing a hand, you do not describe it by the loss of your index finger. Why would you begin with your husbands desires potentially frustrating your job experience when spear-heading your argument with the ridiculous spontaneous emergence of him "hearing voices and footsteps" would have warranted greater understanding of your "predicament"?

The problem is, you're not getting as much sympathy as you like and so you have now resorted to going online on a Christian forum to manipulate the Christian (though clearly not always) attitudes of the people here into trying to give you a moral way out of your dislike for something probably much less devious and "controlling" than your husband is actually doing.

No one is going to be able to quote you out of this one, because Jesus' teaching are clear. It would take as much acrobatics with Scripture as is being used in your story to twist an agreement with this nonsense here.

 

[chrisdrama99]

My husband faced assault charges! And this is me needing sympathy? No. I am asking for objective advice.

So I should just let me husband make a scene. Lose my job. Then what??? Please tell me. He said if that happens he will go live with his parents. And I will just need to "find my own life".

 

[Dave-W]

. He said if that happens he will go live with his parents. And I will just need to "find my own life".

And you might just be better off in the long run.

 

[DZoolander]

Exactly.

All things considered, I'd tell him he can leave now for his mom's house, keep my job, and serve him with papers. Then raise the kid myself with whatever visitation rights the courts deemed reasonable for him.

 

[Dave-W]

All things considered, I'd tell him he can leave now for his mom's house, keep my job, and serve him with papers. Then raise the kid myself with whatever visitation rights the courts deemed reasonable for him.

And make sure he is charged with a good amount of child support.

 

[chrisdrama99]

The thing is I have realized this is all typically threats. He wants to make me feel scared. I don't think he would really do this. But he threatens it and I freak out because I am destroyed that he would say this to his pregnant wife. He will later respond by saying I shouldn't push him to say these things then...

Always my fault. Or claims I'm acting like a victim.

So when i tell him his words hurt and to stop saying these things he will respond with "oh and you have never hurt me?"

Bottom line it's hard for me to encourage him to move with his parents and leave me when I know he doesn't mean it.

The fact that he says it...is that enough? To really leave?

 

[Thir7ySev3n]

You guys are so easily baited, it's ridiculous...

 

[Thir7ySev3n]

This is one side of the story. He faces assault charges; sure, he faces them but how do we know he is actually guilty?

"It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor be hasty and miss the way." (Proverbs 19:2)

All we know is what you're telling us, and your story has developed in accordance with the replies you've received. It's obvious what you are doing, or at least I thought it would have been.

 

[ValleyGal]

This story is starting to read an awful lot like the one that keeps coming back and posting the same stuff....

 

[chrisdrama99]

I'm sorry but I don't understand. I am a new poster. But my "story" is real. And very much genuine.

 

[DZoolander]

This story is starting to read an awful lot like the one that keeps coming back and posting the same stuff....

lol yep