Will God leave us alone if we ask?

[Rundle]

My Christian husband has left our marriage for the second time. Basically because our marriage is hard, there is no infidelity and we have no kids.

The first time he left I felt convicted to pray for restoration and got many to join me. After months of praying he began to have visions and words from God convicting him to return to our marriage. Three people also told me there would be restoration in our marriage. He was resistant to God at first and after his third vision he eventually submitted and returned.

We had 5 blissful months and then things got super hard again. I would say I was/am in an emotionally abusive relationship. The funny thing is, I saw my husband trying harder than before and drawing closer to God than ever before but while wildly swinging back and forth between submission and giving up.

After four months of tough marriage again, he has left. He has told me he has begged God to not influence him to return to our marriage and God has said "okay". God feels disappointed and is sad but will provide guidance when it's finished. My question is, does this line up biblically? Will God just leave you alone and then help you after you've sinned? Just sorta passive like that? I mean, we have gone to a church that really preaches grace but will God just say ok to that sort of request?

Anyway, if you guys also want to pray for my husband Ryan, and me for guidance I'd so appreciate that.


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[Celestial Warrior]

if you both you and your husband are both believers (despite his treatment of you) this is our Lord's advice regarding marriage and difficulties in it between believing couples:

1Corinthians 7:10 ¶ And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1Corinthians 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

1Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other(romantically),
except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS YES AND NO, OUR LORD WILL QUIETLY BE THERE WAITING FOR YOUR (BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND'S ) PRAYERS AND QUESTIONS - HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE OR LEAVE YOU:

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Hebrews 13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

My Christian husband has left our marriage for the second time. Basically because our marriage is hard, there is no infidelity and we have no kids.

The first time he left I felt convicted to pray for restoration and got many to join me. After months of praying he began to have visions and words from God convicting him to return to our marriage. Three people also told me there would be restoration in our marriage. He was resistant to God at first and after his third vision he eventually submitted and returned.

We had 5 blissful months and then things got super hard again. I would say I was/am in an emotionally abusive relationship. The funny thing is, I saw my husband trying harder than before and drawing closer to God than ever before but while wildly swinging back and forth between submission and giving up.

After four months of tough marriage again, he has left. He has told me he has begged God to not influence him to return to our marriage and God has said "okay". God feels disappointed and is sad but will provide guidance when it's finished. My question is, does this line up biblically? Will God just leave you alone and then help you after you've sinned? Just sorta passive like that? I mean, we have gone to a church that really preaches grace but will God just say ok to that sort of request?

Anyway, if you guys also want to pray for my husband Ryan, and me for guidance I'd so appreciate that.


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[Mountainmanbob]

God might just leave you alone with your sin and you might not even have to ask.
Mountainman

 

[joshua 1 9]

My Christian husband has left our marriage for the second time. Basically because our marriage is hard, there is no infidelity and we have no kids.

The first time he left I felt convicted to pray for restoration and got many to join me. After months of praying he began to have visions and words from God convicting him to return to our marriage. Three people also told me there would be restoration in our marriage. He was resistant to God at first and after his third vision he eventually submitted and returned.

We had 5 blissful months and then things got super hard again. I would say I was/am in an emotionally abusive relationship. The funny thing is, I saw my husband trying harder than before and drawing closer to God than ever before but while wildly swinging back and forth between submission and giving up.

After four months of tough marriage again, he has left. He has told me he has begged God to not influence him to return to our marriage and God has said "okay". God feels disappointed and is sad but will provide guidance when it's finished. My question is, does this line up biblically? Will God just leave you alone and then help you after you've sinned? Just sorta passive like that? I mean, we have gone to a church that really preaches grace but will God just say ok to that sort of request?

Anyway, if you guys also want to pray for my husband Ryan, and me for guidance I'd so appreciate that.


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Nothing funny about it. The enemy is out to destroy marriages. I wanted my first marriage restored and I prayed and prayed about it. Only God told me that she has free will and freedom to choose. He will not made that choice for people. They have to decide for themselves.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places". eph 6 12

 

[Greg J.]

Your situation is quite unusual. Without details (which I doubt I could ever have over the Internet), I can say some things, but cannot say how much they apply to your situation.

God gave us the Bible at a time when whether God was real or not was not questioned like it is today. It was also a time when it was easier to be driven to God for help compared to life today in an industrialized society, because we have such (apparent) control to resolve problems ourselves. The result is that it is harder and/or slower to grow in our faith in God faith these days. I say these things to point out that it is difficult to understand the facets of a relationship between God and a mentally ill person through Scripture (although not impossible).

Consider a person with ADHD who is unable to pray or read Scripture. In what way is that person falling short of what God has commanded in Scripture? In actual fact, if such a person managed to read the Bible for 5 solid minutes total across 6 months, it could very well be a joyous spiritual victory. But you don't see this kind of scenario addressed in Scripture in an obvious way.

Another example would be someone with Tourette Syndrome who speaks obscenely in social situations (a symptom for less than 10% of those with Tourette's, btw). It would be incorrect to interpret Scripture as saying this "coarse language" is sinning.

Your husband's request to God could be made with all kinds of different attitudes in his heart. To evaluate how good/bad/questionable/awesome your husband's request is, one must know his heart. If your husband's heart were genuinely to always please God and his actions were consistent with that, God would be pleased with him (in general), but no one might be able to tell this by looking at his actions (or the results of his actions). Your husband's spiritual condition depends on what he wants and chooses (has made an effort to do).

It would be completely different for your husband to want God to give him a long period of rest from pressure to "fix his marriage" than for God to just leave him alone. His words may not reveal what his attitude actually was/is. The former could be the result of sheer psychological exhaustion, the latter is from rejecting God.

If you don't already know, and if possible, I would try to nudge your husband to the attitude of God wants to help, and even do a lot of the work for him to make things better, and that God is giving him a break from the pressure. God won't reject your husband, but your husband needs to be sure to not reject God. Even so, God won't abandon him and would try to draw your husband back.

I'm sure this is a very great trial for you. Trust that God will work things out, although patience can be difficult and painful. Pray for healing for your husband and your relationship, and humility for both of you. Get others to regularly pray for you both. Spend time to draw closer to Jesus. Study what God is like through Scripture, pray, and fast. God won't ignore any of those.

 

[Tinyarch]

Here's my advice.

Let go of the past. That time is gone and you cannot change it. Don't try to manipulate the future because the future may never come to be. Live in the now. Walk in step with the Spirit, today.
Both A W Tozer and C S Lewis conveyed this truth: "The place where heaven and earth meet in reality is in the present moment."
We get so caught up with the future or the past that Satan distracts us from this very moment when we are in fellowship with God. Live in the present and walk in step with the Spirit of God.
Let God heal you in the present and let God work on your husband according to God's will. If God brings you both to talk regarding reconciliation then first talk about walking in step with the Spirit. God requires holiness and demands personal fellowship. Set your mind to these things and let the relationship between your spouse work it's way out. If one or both of you refuse to walk in holiness or in step with the Spirit of God, then don't lie to the other person and say something you know you aren't willing to do. Both of you need to go to God and walk with Him in humble confession. If one of you or both of you cannot do this, then stay apart and walk with God until that day would come.
God made us for His glory not for our spouse. If we do not walk with God, we do a disservice to our spouse and our own sins will destroy the human relationship. Both of you, go to God and walk, moment by moment in his presence. The rest will take care of itself according to God's providence.

 

[Rundle]

Here's my advice.

Let go of the past. That time is gone and you cannot change it. Don't try to manipulate the future because the future may never come to be. Live in the now. Walk in step with the Spirit, today.
Both A W Tozer and C S Lewis conveyed this truth: "The place where heaven and earth meet in reality is in the present moment."
We get so caught up with the future or the past that Satan distracts us from this very moment when we are in fellowship with God. Live in the present and walk in step with the Spirit of God.
Let God heal you in the present and let God work on your husband according to God's will. If God brings you both to talk regarding reconciliation then first talk about walking in step with the Spirit. God requires holiness and demands personal fellowship. Set your mind to these things and let the relationship between your spouse work it's way out. If one or both of you refuse to walk in holiness or in step with the Spirit of God, then don't lie to the other person and say something you know you aren't willing to do. Both of you need to go to God and walk with Him in humble confession. If one of you or both of you cannot do this, then stay apart and walk with God until that day would come.
God made us for His glory not for our spouse. If we do not walk with God, we do a disservice to our spouse and our own sins will destroy the human relationship. Both of you, go to God and walk, moment by moment in his presence. The rest will take care of itself according to God's providence.

This really spoke to me. I think you're right, I'm questioning why God did what he did in the past (visions and such) and wondering what he will do in the future. Instead of focusing on what's going on right now and how He's providing for me.

I can continue to pray but yes, focus on walking in the Spirit right NOW.


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[JCFantasy23]

God feels disappointed and is sad but will provide guidance when it's finished. My question is, does this line up biblically? Will God just leave you alone and then help you after you've sinned?

We know that God gave free will; that is biblical. He tries to steer us on certain paths but sometimes people are not making wise decisions. I think personally that God sometimes makes new plans and situations to get you where He wants you when we do not act the way we should. I think sometimes God wants us to stay in relationships or situations but we don't listen to reason and Godly advice.

 

[Rundle]

We know that God gave free will; that is biblical. He tries to steer us on certain paths but sometimes people are not making wise decisions. I think personally that God sometimes makes new plans and situations to get you where He wants you when we do not act the way we should. I think sometimes God wants us to stay in relationships or situations but we don't listen to reason and Godly advice.

I think I agree with you, well I do. I think God will for sure provide for me despite my marriage likely not working out.

I guess before God went to drastic measures (giving him visions and him becoming a weeping mess because he became so conflicted about wanting to leave vs these words from God). Will God just passively allow things to happen this time or with a proverbial whale come and swallow him up (which is what I sorta want to happen).




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[JCFantasy23]

I think I agree with you, well I do. I think God will for sure provide for me despite my marriage likely not working out.

I guess before God went to drastic measures (giving him visions and him becoming a weeping mess because he became so conflicted about wanting to leave vs these words from God). Will God just passively allow things to happen this time or with a proverbial whale come and swallow him up (which is what I sorta want to happen).




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It's hard to say. I wouldn't even try - from my experience God works in mysterious ways - not to sound cliché, but I think He uses different methods for different people in different times for different reasons. There is no straight answer on that one. Only time will tell what will happen. I've seen some people get bombarded with signs to stop and repent and change, and others drift for awhile before they realize it through experiences revelation. As you said, the first time your husband was encouraged to return more directly - but because he is having issues again the same thing may not happen this time.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Rundle. God is Love and God will always help us, if we ask. Why not ask God to help your marriage work? When God sees that you both want your marriage to work, God will help you; IF YOU ASK. Show God that you Love Him, and God will help you, but if you ignore God, and do not want His help and blessings, God will never force you.
In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells us: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. Secondly, Love your neighbour as you love yourself. Verse 40 also tells us:
On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. God wants our love, and God wants loving sons and daughters. Ask God and he will help and guide you, ignore God and will leave you alone. I say this love, Rundle.
Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.