Why is there no longer a "child free" section for couples who don't want kids?

[LadyJaneDoe]

I searched everywhere. Hopefully we aren't being singled out.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

I would say to start a thread at THIS LINK where you can ask staff about it. They are usually willing to answer any questions. I know they cut out or consolidated some of the sub-forums with the move to the new site.

 

[snoochface]

I would say to start a thread at THIS LINK where you can ask staff about it. They are usually willing to answer any questions. I know they cut out or consolidated some of the sub-forums with the move to the new site.

I asked the same question in the Questions About CF forum a couple of days ago. The response was that they eliminated forums with less traffic and put them into whatever their main forum was. They suggested I start a thread in the Suggest A Forum category and explain what the Child Free Forum was, how it got started, and why we wanted it back -- but I haven't done that.

 

[Avniel]

Glad to see it gone it was a section for people to down play those that have children. they would go to the parenting section and target posters.

People need to be secure with their own choices and not need to down play others choice to build yourself.

 

[snoochface]

It was NOT that Avniel.
There are many reasons people may choose not to have children and it was a safe place for those of use who aren't called to be parents.
If you continue to argue this point it would not only be incredibly insensitive but demonstrating blatant disrespect for your peers.

^^ And also exactly the reason we had that forum - so that we could post about issues relating to our particular life choice without being told how <whatever> we are.

 

[Avniel]

It was NOT that Avniel.
There are many reasons people may choose not to have children and it was a safe place for those of use who aren't called to be parents.
If you continue to argue this point it would not only be incredibly insensitive but demonstrating blatant disrespect for your peers.

I don't know I saw a good deal of insults directed towards CHRISTIAN brothers and sisters that decided to have children. If you don't believe me if the threads are still open I will more than happily post several links and quotes.

I even remember posters taking a person's struggle to get pregnant and posting it on the childfree section poking fun at her.

I know plenty of people that do not want children. Majority of them were happy for me when I had my children because they are super secure people.

If you have to down talk another person's choices its comes from a place of insecurity.

If that's disrespectful oh well when that lady that was struggling getting pregnant was disrespected by Christians who were supposed to be her brothers and sisters no one said anything but me.

If your secure in your choice, it's fine to want that space but what's not fine and what is sinful and insecure is to down play others choices because it isn't your path.

 

[Avniel]

^^ And also exactly the reason we had that forum - so that we could post about issues relating to our particular life choice without being told how <whatever> we are.

Majority of those posts were directed towards parents very few were about childless marriages

 

[snoochface]

Majority of those posts were directed towards parents very few were about childless marriages

I don't know what forum you were viewing but that is not the case. Most of the threads were about people who didn't want kids who found out their spouse does (or vice versa), singles who wondered about finding child free spouses, reasons for not wanting kids, struggles with feeling accepted by family, or coming out to family, about not wanting kids, and other similar issues. I am certain there was the sporadic post like you are describing, but that is far from being representative of what that forum was about.

 

[Avniel]

^^ And also exactly the reason we had that forum - so that we could post about issues relating to our particular life choice without being told how <whatever> we are.

I just don't think it's appropriate for adult Christians to throw around terms like breeders, question others reasons for having children, insulting others for their own personal choices all while complaining about how people with kids act towards them.

People want a child free section so they can gang up and insult everyone that has decided to have children. Not saying all but there were some pretty nasty things being done there.

IJS if you want a child free section it should be about those that are child free and not those that have children. Not a problem talking about being child free it's healthy to communicate with others that have similar life styles but when that communication is about being negative and down playing others it's not healthy it's sinful and hateful and insecure.

this is Christianforums and if you can't encourage one another in whatever lifestyle that person has chosen, biblically acceptable, then it shouldn't be posted here. The church has no space for that it's not part of the kingdom.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I'm sad to see its gone now. Does this mean we are allowed talking about it again in this section? I hope so.

 

[snoochface]

I'm sad to see its gone now. Does this mean we are allowed talking about it again in this section? I hope so.

That's my understanding.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I guess it's okay for parents to accuse child free couples of being selfish, greedy, lazy or ungodly, yet if someone should dare question someone with kids it's automatically distasteful or hateful. I'm loving these double standards!

 

[snoochface]

To be fair, most of the parents who joined in on the Child Free forum were really respectful. Occasionally, someone would be in there who really didn't belong there and was really judgmental and full of double standards -- and those are the people who are happy to see the forum gone. I have to assume the others don't notice or don't care, because it wasn't their forum anyway.

It didn't get a lot of traffic lately. So many changes at CF, rule changes, forum changes, etc., made people give up. We weren't sure of the rules anymore. There is a very active, very respectful group on Facebook for Child Free Christians (not just marrieds) and a lot of former CFers participate there. I'm happy to link anyone to it who might be interested.

 

[Avniel]

You see what I don't like is when people pretend there weren't those that called parents breeders and said other derogatory things. It insults my recollection of an entire thread about a woman who for whatever reason was trying to get pregnant. She didn't have the money to get a pregnancy test, for whatever reason. She was excited and wrote about it in the parenting section and where did people end up hiding and taking it?

I'm not pointing fingers I'm just saying when that type of discrimination and classism is going on I don't believe that avenue needs to remain closed to those that come to build theirselves off others. Maybe in a worldly forum but in a christianforum it not needed.

Now there were a lot of people with good conversation there however there was still plenty of venom aimed towards parents. I don't believe we can pretend a lot of us breeders would have been plenty insulted.

 

[Avniel]

To be fair, most of the parents who joined in on the Child Free forum were really respectful. Occasionally, someone would be in there who really didn't belong there and was really judgmental and full of double standards -- and those are the people who are happy to see the forum gone. I have to assume the others don't notice or don't care, because it wasn't their forum anyway.

It didn't get a lot of traffic lately. So many changes at CF, rule changes, forum changes, etc., made people give up. We weren't sure of the rules anymore. There is a very active, very respectful group on Facebook for Child Free Christians (not just marrieds) and a lot of former CFers participate there. I'm happy to link anyone to it who might be interested.

So you dot recall the pregnancy thread that was about the lady trying to get pregnant that was on this forum and posted in another section? You do not recall that particular situation?

If not I understand why our recollection of what is fair. I stand against all types of bullying, insulting, discrimination, oppression and hatred no matter if it's what they called "breeders" or if it were those that decided not to have children. My mother taught me to respect all people and what they decide and if that's for them great. However that isn't for me, and it isn't for a lot of people. I encourage you in yours encourage me in mine and don't try to put one down to build the other up.

I'm secure in having children and I'm securing in being married. I saw a picture that said if your under 34 and a black married man your crazy. You know who posts that type of thing? People that aren't secure in there choices.......would you agree? Do you believe that if a group of people down play another group of people's personal choice somewhere deep deep down inside its a little insecurity?

I have a homeboy no children he's married, most of my married homeboys don't have children. However we respect each other's decision because my boys are all secure we nah grow Sah

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

I love that section. Not really many problems from what I recall. Not sure the thread your talking about it. But yeah calling someone a breeder is just creepy and offensive. In the new Mad Max movie one of the gangs keeps women around as slaves and they call the woman "breeders".

 

[snoochface]

So you dot recall the pregnancy thread that was about the lady trying to get pregnant that was on this forum and posted in another section? You do not recall that particular situation?

If not I understand why our recollection of what is fair. I stand against all types of bullying, insulting, discrimination, oppression and hatred no matter if it's what they called "breeders" or if it were those that decided not to have children. My mother taught me to respect all people and what they decide and if that's for them great. However that isn't for me, and it isn't for a lot of people. I encourage you in yours encourage me in mine and don't try to put one down to build the other up.

I'm secure in having children and I'm securing in being married. I saw a picture that said if your under 34 and a black married man your crazy. You know who posts that type of thing? People that aren't secure in there choices.......would you agree? Do you believe that if a group of people down play another group of people's personal choice somewhere deep deep down inside its a little insecurity?

I have a homeboy no children he's married, most of my married homeboys don't have children. However we respect each other's decision because my boys are all secure we nah grow Sah

I do remember the thread you're talking about. I said several posts up that there were occasional (VERY occasional) negative things posted in that forum -- but, again, those instances were FAR from representative of a) the general tone of the forum, b) the purpose and general use of the forum, and c) the general attitude of the people who posted in that forum.

There's not a forum on the internet, including the one we're currently posting in, that doesn't occasionally have a few negative posts. The Marrieds forum right here is full of disrespect toward people who feel differently about things like submission, sex, gender roles, etc., but if that were the representation of the Marrieds forum, if that were the tone, and the purpose, and the use, and the attitude of the Marrieds forum, you'd be preaching to your own choir. And you're not, because a few bad posts or inappropriate posters does not define the entire area.

You're painting all of us with the same broad brush based on a very few non-representative posts that you happened across. I truly wish the forum were still in place so we could look at even the first page of threads and see that what you are describing, while existing very occasionally, was not even close to being what the forum was about.

 

[Avniel]

I do remember the thread you're talking about. I said several posts up that there were occasional (VERY occasional) negative things posted in that forum -- but, again, those instances were FAR from representative of a) the general tone of the forum, b) the purpose and general use of the forum, and c) the general attitude of the people who posted in that forum.

There's not a forum on the internet, including the one we're currently posting in, that doesn't occasionally have a few negative posts. The Marrieds forum right here is full of disrespect toward people who feel differently about things like submission, sex, gender roles, etc., but if that were the representation of the Marrieds forum, if that were the tone, and the purpose, and the use, and the attitude of the Marrieds forum, you'd be preaching to your own choir. And you're not, because a few bad posts or inappropriate posters does not define the entire area.

You're painting all of us with the same broad brush based on a very few non-representative posts that you happened across. I truly wish the forum were still in place so we could look at even the first page of threads and see that what you are describing, while existing very occasionally, was not even close to being what the forum was about.

Maybe I have mistaken silence as acceptance or maybe that is what it is. I do remember however there were a number of posters gang up on said poster. There are occasional but they were unchecked and unreported by other members.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Well my feeling is if people in both sections would attack others. Though I seen WAY more attacks in this section when it came to childfree people posting here. Which is the childfree section was created since people in this section couldn't behave respectfully if anyone even mentioned not having children. Sadly these types of divisions is why outsiders tend to see christianity as a joke. Christians get along better sometimes with non-christians it seems.

 

[Avniel]

Well my feeling is if people in both sections would attack others. Though I seen WAY more attacks in this section when it came to childfree people posting here. Which is the childfree section was created since people in this section couldn't behave respectfully if anyone even mentioned not having children. Sadly these types of divisions is why outsiders tend to see christianity as a joke. Christians get along better sometimes with non-christians it seems.

I totally agree if I ever saw anyone insulting another person I would stand up for it. I actually don't recall any threads, I was even accused of that behavior once I became disgusted with certain behavior I saw there. I didn't post in the parent section very often but I didn't see parents disrespecting people there.

THe problem is it's ok when it is childfree and when they are speaking of their superior choice. However when it's on the other foot it cuts deep due to root of the need for that choice to be superior, insecurity. Secure people are not so negative about others choices.........

The joke is when it happens nobody says or does anything accept a few christians.