Why is it so hard for me to talk about?!

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

There are so many things that have happened to me. but 85% of the things I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT! Why cant i talk about it? Because there is NO ONE. NO one cares and no one understands... Its just like my uncle said "You think we love you? please... your only still here because we need a slave." And then he proved it... when he did something to me that ruined my life and left permanent scars on my heart and wrists. I hate myself. Its all my fault my uncle did what he did. i'd be better off dead... i cant hold this in anymore... it hurts so much... I dont deserve to be loved, or cared about... just like my uncle told me. I dont deserve anything... im a nobody... im stupid... i shouldnt even be here. I dont deserve to be alive...

Jo.

 

[Garnet]

Hi Jo. First of all, I don't know you personally, but I do understand that feeling of not being able to talk to people about things. It sounds your uncle was NOT a nice person! But please don't think that you don't deserve love. You deserve so much more than that. You deserve love and care and kindness. I'm so sorry that you have been treated so badly. Please hold on to hope and know that you deserve better and that someday it will get better.

 

[Thithy]

What your Uncle did was horrible. Everyone deserves love. Even if you feel that no one on this planet loves you, know that your Heavenly father loves you. He cares so much about you. He would never want to see you feel like this. Everyone has a purpose for life, and that is to share the love of God with the world. I would suggest praying, and God will show you his love. Then spread the word!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You're not alone.

 

[Johnnz]

You really need to talk to someone who will listen and who does understand. You have been badly programmed by your uncle. You need to get re-stablished in your thinking and emotions.

Some good input from a mature Christian, and a good counsellor would be very helpful for you. It will take time to change, and you will need contact with people who will be there for you throoughout the process. There is no 'quick fix' for such inner pain, but there is healing and renewal available through Christ and his people.

John
NZ

 

[madison1101]

I care about you. I understand some of that feeling of being unloved, and not cared about. I have been scarred by people in my life. But, God is faithful, He loved me, and healed me, and He loves you and will heal you too.

Find a therapist or counselor you can talk to. A licensed therapist will be trained to help you learn to open up and trust enough to talk about what happened. That person will also be able to help you work through these feelings of unworthiness, and find inside of you your faith in God, and your strengths in which to grow.

If you need to you can PM me. I am being trained to do therapy. God is taking the bad stuff that happened to me, and helping me use that to minister to other people who have been hurt much more than I ever was.

Madison

 

[Glorianna]

There are so many things that have happened to me. but 85% of the things I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT! Why cant i talk about it? Because there is NO ONE. NO one cares and no one understands... Its just like my uncle said "You think we love you? please... your only still here because we need a slave." And then he proved it... when he did something to me that ruined my life and left permanent scars on my heart and wrists. I hate myself. Its all my fault my uncle did what he did. i'd be better off dead... i cant hold this in anymore... it hurts so much... I dont deserve to be loved, or cared about... just like my uncle told me. I dont deserve anything... im a nobody... im stupid... i shouldnt even be here. I dont deserve to be alive...

Jo.

Oh honey, I am so sorry that you have an uncle that would say things like that to you. You do not deserve them. God loves you. You're His precious child, created to glorify Him. Draw closer to the Lord and ask Him to protect you from Satan's evil schemes. I am praying for you.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

Its just so frustrating... And painful.

Jo.

 

[madison1101]

I know it is painful. I remember the times I would just kneel on my floor by my bed and cry and pray, and beg God for some relief. The Psalms talk about how David was tormented by Saul, and how he felt, and cried out to God. God was always faithful in David's life. David would always be able to praise God for His mercy and kindness.

Jesus understands your pain, because He was tormented as well. Trust Him to heal you, and give you relief from the pain.

In the meantime, find a therapist, or counselor you can talk to about what is going on. You don't have to go through this alone. Nothing you can tell the therapists will surprise them. They have heard it all, and they know how to help you heal yourself.

 

[tjboie2001]

hey extreme you are feeling pain just like i am but remmember what you keep on telling me just tell yourself the same stuff that you tell me ok

 

[sparrow]

Jo, a big for you. That can't be nice or fun in any way.

If you ever want to talk, you can always PM me. I know that you may not want to or whatever, but I'm just letting you know that the offer is there. I care about you and will talk with you if ever you need me too.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

thanks sparrow.. that means alot... same to you. love you hun,

Jo.

 

[TravellingGrace]

hey Jo,

I just wanted to let you know, that if you ever need somebody to talk to that can listen then I'm here. I don't need to understand to a full extent of what you went through,and i'm not going to pretend like I can, but I can definately give a pretty good ear.

You're a precious child of God, and He loves you. He will never leave or forsake you. PM me if you need anything hun.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

Thanks...

Jo.

 

[Godsgirl481]

Hey Jo...take it from me....I TOTALLY understand. Things happened to me...sexual abuse, being beaten daily...my mom put a loaded gun in my hand when I was 14 and begged me to kill myself...she said she hated me, God hated me...and no one would ever love me. When I first moved to Kansas, I was placed in a sexual abuse class with other woman...and for the entire 12 week, I never said I word, I never looked at anyone...I never even looked up. I listened but that was it. I took the class a second and time and really started to open up. I learned that you have to talk about it...verbalizing it takes away it's power over you. I have also learned that sometimes you just have to take a chance...close your eyes...and spit it out. It will never be easy and it will always be scary. I'm here for you sweety...remember, I understand and will always love you

 

[carmi]

There are so many things that have happened to me. but 85% of the things I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT! Why cant i talk about it? Because there is NO ONE. NO one cares and no one understands... Its just like my uncle said "You think we love you? please... your only still here because we need a slave." And then he proved it... when he did something to me that ruined my life and left permanent scars on my heart and wrists. I hate myself. Its all my fault my uncle did what he did. i'd be better off dead... i cant hold this in anymore... it hurts so much... I dont deserve to be loved, or cared about... just like my uncle told me. I dont deserve anything... im a nobody... im stupid... i shouldnt even be here. I dont deserve to be alive...

Jo.

But there is One - God. He is there and He does care and He does understand. And you will never be God's slave. Jesus Christ told His disciples that He will not call them servants anymore but friends. And Jesus Christ sets you free - you are not under bondage anymore. No man or being has any power over you - some may try to tell/convince you otherwise but they can't. No one can pluck you out of the Lord's hand. Nothing and nobody can separate you from the love of God.

God knows what happened to you. So, you can talk to Him. He knows that you did do this but that it was done to you. Therefore, you don't have to be afraid whether or not He is going to believe you. He knows what happened to you. But He also knows that you need to talk about it. He is there to listen to you.

Many times I feel the same, I feel that I don't deserve God's love. Regardless of my feelings on this matter, God loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us. There is nothing I can do about it, all I can do is to accept it and accept that God loved me, yes even me, this much. And if He loves me (and I have done things unworthy of His love), then why wouldn't He love you who were hurt by another person.

You are alive. God wants you to be alive. God is the giver and taker of life. God wants you to be here so that you can experience His love and know that you are worthy of His love.

 

[jen_soccer13]

Hey Jo...take it from me....I TOTALLY understand. Things happened to me...sexual abuse, being beaten daily...my mom put a loaded gun in my hand when I was 14 and begged me to kill myself...she said she hated me, God hated me...and no one would ever love me.

I have had almost the exact same experiece
and jo..i know how you feel....exactly..with i could help you but i am in the same boat

 

[Godsgirl481]

Sometimes it is hard to except God's love...even though it's pure...it is harder than anythng I have tried to do in my life. Not sure why yet, I am still on a healing path...but God talks to me, nightly....so I know He is still there for me...and you Jo, and you too Jen HUGS TO ALL

 

[Marie]

Jo, honey, first of all, a huge to you.

Second, know that I care. I know I've expressed that to you before, but just in case you forget: You are my sister- I love you and care for you no matter what. No matter what happens, no matter how much pain you may be in, no matter the circumstance, I love you and care for you.

I am so sorry for what your uncle did to you, and the harsh words he expressed to you. I don't know what you're going through, or the amount of pain you're in, but I pray it would all go away. It would bring me so much joy to see you recovered from your past and completely surrounded in God's grace. It's worth living.

Jo, sis, If you need to talk or vent or need advice, or whatever, you know how to get ahold of me. Never, EVER hesitate to take me up on that offer. I don't care what time of day or night it is, I am always here to talk and to listen.

I love you sis.

 

[LegacyOfLove]

Jo, Please know and believe that what you uncle has told you are absolutely lies! You DESERVE: love, respect, to be treated with dignity. You are worthy. You are special. Do NOT believe the lies you are being told. The awful things he is saying to you is to make you feel as disgusting and shameful as he is inside. Get yourself some help....a counsellor, a friend, a pastor, a teacher....anyone who you can trust enough to open up with. Please know that God loves you and He made you into a special and wonderful person! If you need a shoulder....feel free to PM me! God bless you.